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The Spirited Child

Before I found information for "Spirited Children," I was a mom on the edge. I could not understand why my boys acted the way they did. They were either really good, or really bad. They pushed the limits all the time. Discipline didn't do much good, they would stop for a while, but always the behavior came back. I felt like a failure as a parent.

Then I discovered the "Spirited Child." I found out that my children were not abnormal! There was a reason for the intense reactions and emotions, even the sensitivity to certain clothing, like the seams in the toe of the socks. They weren't trying to drive me nuts! They truly are more, more intense, more energetic, more everything.

I hope that you find these links as helpful as I have. I am just learning about this, so I will update the page as I learn.

One other thing, spirited children are often labeled "hyperactive." ADD or ADHD are true disorders, but just because a child is spirited, does not mean he has these. It can be tricky, because many characteristics are so similar. For example, my Adam has ADD. He takes low does of Ritalin during school hours. It was just enough so he could block out sounds, like the air conditioner running, and listen or concentrate. The poor boy was distracted by every little noise, he just could not block it out. A spirited child may be distractable, but can find what is important (or salient, a nice education word I learned :)), and focus on it.


If you are the parent of a spirited child, and feel like you are on the edge, please learn more about this subject. Once you understand WHY your children act the way they do, you can learn discipline techniques to better teach them to deal with the world.


Please feel free to e-mail me with any suggestions for links or other information.


These are the common characteristics of the Spirited Child


Intensity - He will be loud and dramatic. Reactions will be intense, such as dislike for a certain food.

Persistence - He will "lock in" to an idea and nothing will change his mind. For example, once he decides he doesn't like peas, he will never try them again.

Perceptiveness - These children notice everything! They are easily distracted (unless in a "locked-in" mode).

Adaptiblity - Transitions from one activity to another are difficult, especially bedtime!

Regularity - He does not seem to eat or sleep on a regular schedule. One day he seems to not need sleep at all, other times he is sleepy 2 hours before bedtime. Parents need to help keep on a regular schedule. (I have never managed to do anything on a regular schedule!)

Energy - These children are little bundles of energy! They are constanly on the go or into everything. They need a safe home environment to explore, and lots of "outside" time when possible.

First Reaction - His first reaction to new situations is often negative. He will often withdraw and watch for a while before joining in a new group.

Mood - moods are very intense. He will be elated or despondent - not a lot of in between.


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I have found these web sites to be very helpful.

Cherise's Spirited Child Page
Coping with the Spirited Child
Parents of Spirited Children
Parents of Spirited Kids
Working with Spirited Children I
Working with Spirited Children II
The Challenge of the Difficult Child (I don't like the title, but some good info here)

Email: michelleg@ilovejesus.com