Here are some selected lyrics from

Militious-Redneck Roulette: The Full Monte (carlo)

Dynomite Bass Fishin'

I hear down in the Lone Star Republic

They got this bass fishin' contest

Where you can win a million dollars

That's temtation I just can't resist

So I'm goin' down to sorta hang around

I'm goin' Dynomite bass fishin'

I know fish live in the water

So I stole this here DNR boat

It came with a net and a six-pack

Shiny boots and a uniform

I'll just toss a stick in and those fishies won't swim

When I'm Dynomite Bass Fishin'

Now I've caught me my limit

And I didn't even take one cast

But you know that I'm still damn proud

Cause I outsmarted those crafty bass

Some folks say I'm a crook but I ain't baitin' no hook

I'm goin' Dynomite Bass Fishin'

Rusty Texas Crabs

Jeremiah:

Rollin' into Texas-well the truck it started stumblin'

But thoughts of Rusty Crabs had our stomachs all a rumblin'

When we saw a great big billboard speedin' past that state cop

Said "Get a case of crabs at Verns Topless Bar and Bait Shop"

Hopped off the highway and we pulled into that bar

we got our case of crabs. Boiled some water on a fire

Now Texas crabs are slimey. They're mighty hard to grab

Dropped 'em in my lap-them Rusty Texas Crabs

I swear honey they were only for nutrition

But ever since I ate 'em I've been scratchin' and a itchin'

The Colonel:

After winnin' big in Texas you know I did some celebratin'

But all that bass and beer had my stomach sorta achin'

So I found a little outhouse, grabbed some leaves and took a seat

Plopped down without lookin' and felt somethin' pinch my cheek

Well I figured "it's just a poopfly" so I commenced my concentration

Imagine my suprise when I saw them crustaceans

Must have climbed my grundies now I got 'em on my bags

I swear that's how I got 'em. Them Rusty Texas Crabs

I swear honey, thoughts of you I was treasuring

The whole time in Texas I was only self pleasuring

Cletus:

If those stories sound a little suspicious

I got one for ya that's not as ficticious

Drivin' back from Texas ya know my boat was swarmed with flies

I Fergot to drain the bilge after gettin' my fishin' prize

So I pulled the plug at a boat launch, right on Lake Michigan

And what I saw made me so scared I'll never fish again

Ya see swimmin' in that discharge as it come out of my boat

Were Rusty Texas Crabs from that Texas fishin' moat

They swum up in my waders and hooked their pinchers on my scrote

I swear honey that's what happened

I got 'em while I was crappin'

I'm itchin' and a scratchin'

Curse them Rusty Texas Crabs!

The Wetland Song

Won a fishin' contest now I'm buyin' me some land

40 acres on a river only cost me 5 grand!

Gonna build a trailer park and make a million bucks

All I gotta do is clear off these frogs and ducks

Loaded up my bogger with 10 tons of fill

buried all them critters 'neath a great big hill

Dammed up the ditches so the water flowed away

DID IT ALL without a single permit from the stste

All your bugs frogs toads and ducks are drying up with all the muck

(mother nature is crying)

Regulator finally caught me and man did she bitch

But I'd already built my trailer park and I was stinkin' rich

Got a dozen lawyers who are fightin' off the State

I'll pay a teeny weensy fine, but business is GREAT!

There goes your wetland--Oh wah wah wha

Oh your precious little wetland--Oh so sad

There goes your wetland--I feel so bad

All your bugs frogs toads and ducks are drying up with all the muck..

What do you mean I'm goin' to jail? That does it, I'm callin' Jeremiah Revere!