Original air date: October 10, 1999
Here’s the deal: In theory, it sounds like it should be a fun show. But it ended up being so bad that it's considered the worst wrestling PPV of all time. Luckily, I didn’t waste $20 on it when it was originally on. But about a month ago, some guy was auctioning it off on eBay, so I asked my dad to get it. After a few weeks, it finally arrived. Now here’s my review of it.
The tape starts about 2 minutes before the beginning of the show. We start the show with some pyro...if you could even call it that.
We go backstage where Michael St. John (who?) is interviewing King Kong Bundy . He talks for a little bit about how great he is. Then Yokozuna (R.I.P.) enters the room and there’s a small conflict.
Opening sequence says that Gordon Solie (R.I.P.) is the host, but he’s not even at the show.
This show is dedicated to the memory of Gorilla Monsoon.
Live from Casino Magic (?), which is somewhere in Mississippi.
Announcers are Dutch Mantell and Randy Rosenbloom (who?). They go over the matches. Sounds ALMOST interesting. Almost every match is labeled as a different type of grudge match. Ring announcer Crisper Stanford kinda looks like Kurt Angle.
SAMOAN SWAT TEAM (w/ some guy) vs. MARTY JANNETTY & TOMMY ROGERS
Samu & Fatu used to be the Headshrinkers in the WWF. You now know Fatu and that dancin’ fat man Rikishi. Man, I haven’t seen Samu since 1994. Their manager gives a boring promo. Man, why didn’t they just have Lou Albano manage these guys? I mean, he’s AT the show. You know Marty Jannetty as the OTHER guy from the Rockers. After a while, the match finally starts. Samu slowly takes control, but Jannetty gains the upper hand and sends Samu & Fatu to the outside. Fatu gets smacked around for a little while. Jannetty gets beat up by the Samoans. The fight goes to the outside. Fatu goes for a Vaderbomb but misses. Rogers does a dropkick on Fatu, which Rosenbloom calls a “flying leg kick”. Idiot. Rogers does a double DDT. Jannetty with a double bulldog. Jannetty hits Fatu with a flying body press to the outside. But Samu does a TKO on Rogers for the win (9:51). Not a good match in any way, but not excruciatingly awful either.
George Steele and Sherri Martel arrive. Now THERE’S a lovely couple. Ugh.
St. John interviews Steele and Sherri.
GREG “THE HAMMER” VALENTINE vs. GEORGE “THE ANIMAL” STEELE (w/ Sherri Martel) Valentine gives an in-ring promo insulting Steele. Both guys are looking pretty old. The match gets off to a VERY slow start. Steele tries to get his shirt off and Valentine attacks him. Sherri SHOCKS THE WORLD by turning on Steele and choking him with the shirt. Valentine beats him up in the corner. Steele finally gets his shirt off his head and he hits Valentine with...something. Valentine hits Steele with the same thing. Sherri’s helping both of them cheat for some reason. Sherri hits Steele with a chair and Valentine gets the pin (6:31). Steele throws Sherri out of the ring and starts throwing chairs in the ring. Then he rips up the turnbuckle and chases Valentine out of the arena. Stupid match.
St. John interviews Julio Fantastico. Apparently, 2 Cold Scorpio is going down.
JULIO FANTASTICO vs. 2 COLD SCORPIO Julio was last seen as Julio Dinero in ECW. And why is he even on this show? He’s not exactly a “wrestling legend”. Scorpio has some kind of title belt. Lou Albano joins the announcing team. Series of arm locks between the two, and some fancy maneuvering. After some nice grappling between the two, Scorpio sends Julio to the outside. Scorpio jumps over the ropes and lands on Julio, but it was a bad camera angle. Springboard dropkick by Julio sends Scorpio out of the ring. Julio does a flip over the ropes, but misses Scorpio, so he goes back up (geez...) and does a flying body press. the battle goes out into the crowd. Back in the ring, Julio gets control. Scorpio goes to the turnbuckle, but Julio knocks him off with a bulldog. For some reason, Rosenbloom keeps calling Scorpio “the Dragon”. Scorpio does a somersault leg drop off the middle rope. He does a top rope twisting legdrop thing, and completely misses, but gets the pin anyway (9:48). Not a great match, but it’ll probably be the the best match of the night.
Apparently, Albano is the new commissioner of Heroes of Wrestling. Too bad it won’t last very long...
St. John interviews King Kong Bundy again. The 1000 Pound War with Yokozuna is the main event.
IRON SHEIK & NIKOLAI VOLKOFF (w/ some Russian guy) vs. LUKE & BUTCH
Crowd starts the obligatory “USA” chant. Volkoff sings the Russian national anthem. Sheik twirls around these stick things, and he hates America. And now here comes everyone’s favorite tag team: the (former) Bushwhackers! Apparently they’re called “the Men from Down Under” now. The bad guys beat up Luke and Butch VERY SLOWLY. Bushwhackers turn things around with some double clotheslines. They start a “USA” chant (even though they’re Australian), and the Sheik gets mad. Volkoff is old, fat, and very white. Not a pretty sight. Luke oversells some kicks and a light push. I mean, Sheik just barely tapped him and Luke is acting like he just got shot or something. Volkoff gives Luke the weakest backbreaker in the history of pro wrestling. Butch gets tagged in and things turn around...sorta. Volkoff accidentally hits Sheik with a foreign object, and...aw geez, the Bushwhackers win (8:45). The bad guys get mad at each other, then they hug. Very slow, very sloppy match.
Earlier today, Tully Blanchard arrives, and got beat up by Stan Lane.
Later today, Blanchard gives an emotional interview. Quite good, actually.
”SWEET” STAN LANE vs. TULLY BLANCHARD
Lane gives himself a better introduction. He’s still in pretty good shape. Blanchard gets some pyro, and he used to be one of the Four Horsemen. Lane runs away from Blanchard for a while before getting some moves in. Lane in control for a good portion of the match. Why is the crowd chanting “Horsemen suck”? Blanchard is the good guy in this match, you idiots. Camera keeps showing various women in the audience. Apparently, Lane is “captivating”, at least according to Rosenbloom. Blanchard puts Lane in the Figure Four on the outside, then does a sleeper hold inside the ring. Lane attempts a piledriver, but gets backflipped. Lane does a back suplex and gets a 2-count on Blanchard, but the ref counts 3 and Lane wins (7:12). Then he reverses the decision and Blanchard wins. Lane doesn’t like the decision. Okay match, but a messed-up ending. Oh, apparently Lane’s shoulders were down when he made the pin. That’s why he lost. Whatever.
St. John has some mic trouble, and interviews Bundy (again) and Jim Neidhart.
ONE MAN GANG vs. ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER (w/ some guy) This is a brawl. Not for the weak of heart. Gang uses a chain to bust Abdullah open. Gang attacks Abdullah’s head for a few minutes. Abdullah’s head is dripping blood. How lovely. Then Abdullah uses a fork to make Gang bleed. Eew. I thought this was supposed to be a family show. This is the kind of crap you’d see in XPW. The fight goes to the outside and both men get counted out (7:29). Gang hits a security guy with a chair. They fight up the ramp. Even for a hardcore brawl, this was just a mess.
Earlier today, Bob Orton cheated at a card game. FASCINATING.
St. John interviews Lou Albano, and Jimmy Snuka just stands there.
Bob Orton responds.
COWBOY BOB ORTON vs. JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA (w/ Lou Albano)
Snuka’s pretty agile for his age. Orton sends Snuka outside. Orton in control for a while. Several “Superfly” chants. Orton gets Snuka in an armbar for a few minutes. There’s a “Bob is a faggot” chant. Oh, how nice. Snuka FINALLY gets control of the match again. Orton goes for a superplex, but Albano hold Snuka’s leg. Snuka does a top rope body press and gets the pin (11:42). Pretty dull at times, but an okay match.
St. John interviews Jake Roberts. Man, Jake is very, very drunk. He starts rambling incoherently about gambling and how he always cheats. I have no idea what he’s talking about. He starts chanting “D-D-T” for a while, but the audience doesn’t go along with it. Oh man, this should be interesting.
JIM “THE ANVIL” NEIDHART vs. JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS
Neidhart gets lots of pyro. He’s the bad guy in this match. Jake gets a good reaction from the crowd and some pyro. Man, he doesn’t look good at all. He walks to the ring, puts the snake bag in the ring, and walks back up the ramp and out of the ring area. Then he jogs back to the ring. Oh God...This isn’t gonna be pretty. He hits on some ugly woman in the front row. The fans chant “We want the snake”. Poor Neidhart has no idea what to do in this situation. After some grappling, Neidhart is in control. Roberts goes for a DDT, but Neidhart gets out of the ring. Jake takes the snake out of the bag, and holds it by his crotch, like it’s a...oh my gosh, that’s horrible. This is supposed to be a family show. Look at all the kids in the audience! They’re gonna be scarred for life now! After lying down with the snake and sticking his tongue out, Jake puts the snake back in the bag. Thank God. King Kong Bundy walks out to the ring. Neidhart takes control of the match again. Jake gives Bundy the finger. Geez... Bundy and Neidhart doubleteam Jake. Then Yokozuna comes down to the ring. He looks fatter than I’ve ever seen him before. The announcers call him “the former Yokozuna”. Yoko gets a few punches in on Bundy before Neidhart and Bundy doubleteam him. Apparently this is a tag team match now.
KING KONG BUNDY & JIM NEIDHART vs. YOKOZUNA & JAKE ROBERTS (if he’s even able to wrestle at this point)
Jake is lying on the ground outside the ring, flipping someone off. Bundy and Neidhart talk to some bald guy. The announcers have no clue who he is, so they’re calling him “the man with no name” and “Mini Bundy”. In the ring, Jake staggers around and falls down. Man, will somebody please get this guy out of the ring? This is just sad. Anvil brings him out of the ring and tries to beat some sense into him with two chairs. Bundy attacks him too. Neidhart grabs Jake’s foot, and his boot comes right off. He uses the boot as a weapon. Bundy does the same. Jake gets some low blows in and tags Yokozuna. Bundy does a big splash on Jake (the illegal man) and gets the pin. Bundy and Anvil leave. Hey, they did the best they could. In the ring, Yoko gives Mini Bundy a Samoan drop, and Jake puts the snake on him. I think Jake might be doing something else too, but luckily the camera isn’t showing him. And all of a sudden, we fade to black. Thank God it’s over.
Well, there you have it, the worst PPV ever. There were SO many things wrong with this. Rosenbloom is a horrible lead announcer, but Mantell did most of the announcing. This was already a very bad show to begin with, but Jake completely ruined everything. He’s a complete embarrassment to himself and everyone involved in the show. It was pretty sad actually. And we didn’t get to see the advertised main event between Bundy and Yoko. I really feel sorry for anyone who actually paid $20 to watch this crap. This was the worst show I’ve ever seen. But hey, I’m glad I got to finally see it.
Hey, I wonder what else is on this tape...
There’s an old episode of WWF Raw. It’s the one where Steve Austin and Jim Ross fight Triple H and Chyna.
Hey, it’s an episode on ECW on TNN! Cool! I miss that show. And it’s the one when the Sandman returns to ECW! I loved that episode and I had always regretted taping over it. Very cool.
Well, thanks for reading this. Adios.