*~*Justin Timberlake*~*
*~*Justin Timberlake*~*
Full name: Justin Randall Timberlake
Birthdate: January 31, 1981
Birthplace: Memphis, Tennessee
Time of Birth: 6:30 P.M.
Height: Somewhere around 6 ft. and still growing! (Or to be exact, that's 1.81 m, you metric system freaks.)
Current Residence: Orlando, FL
Family: Mother Lynn and father Paul; younger half-brothers Jonathan and Steven (who was born recently on August 28); he also had a younger sister named Laura Katharine, who passed away shortly after birth.
Nicknames: Curly, Shot, Bounce, Baby, Mr. Smooth, Young Kid
Hobbies: Basketball, shopping, basketball, collecting North Carolina basketball gear, basketball, and oh yeah -- basketball. Did I mention basketball?
Favorites:
-T.V. Show: Friends
-Actor and Actress: Brad Pitt and Sandra Bullock
-Author: John Grisham
-Movie: Scream
-Sport: Geez, I wonder... synchronized swimming? Lacrosse, maybe?
-Food: Cereal, especially Apple Jacks and Captain Crunch
-Drink: Milk. It sure does a body good, I tell ya. Just look at the guy... damn!
-Word: "Crunk", which supposedly means crazy. (Sounds more like "crusty drunk guy" to me.)
-Ice Cream: Chocolate chip
-Candy: Mentos
-Color: Baby blue... North Carolina b-ball rears it's ugly head once again.
-Musical Artists: Brian McNight, Puff Daddy (probably learned everything he knows about proper grammar from this fella), Take 6, and Janet Jackson
Dislikes: Girls who smoke, his curly hair, snakes, and people who piss him off in the morning
What does he drive?: A candy apple red Mercedes M-Class
Religion: Baptist
Pets: Ozzie, a Cairn terrier, and Alley, a cat
Disgusting habits: Constantly clears his throat; burps
What's underneath his pants (besides the obvious...)?: Tommy Hilfiger undies. Bet he lets those huge pants of his sag low enough to show off the waistband of those babies.
Biggest Mistake: Lying to his mother. I think we can all relate to that one.
Greatest Musical Influences: Brian McKnight and Stevie Wonder ("Oh man, he's a brilliant musician. I think he's just the ambassador of soul.")
Idol: Michael Jordan
What he looks for in a woman: "She definitely has to have a sense of humor. But she has to be intelligent. I want to be able to talk to her. I guess I want just an all - over picture. Everyone deserves the best and everyone has somebody out there for them. The first thing I notice is the way she presents herself and carriers herself. If she's confident, then she's true to herself, and that's something that attracts me to a girl."
So what makes him so darn special?
Just to give you a better understanding of the guy (and maybe to annoy you a little), the following section will be written entirely in Justinese, the official language of the Timberlake clan. Sup, y'all? So y'all crazy folk wanna know a little sumthin' 'bout da man Justin? So now we's a gonna talk 'bout Justin when he be a young'n -- you down wit' dat? It all started when Justin wuz wit dat MMC crew, y'know wat I'm sayin'? Dere he got ta know J.C., and dem two homies wuz singin' 'n' dancin' wit da rest o' dem MMC thugs till da show got cancelled in '94. Damn! J-Dog left O-Town afta dat and went back ta his hood, Memphis, Tennessee, and then he joined up wit' Chris, and... y'all know da story. Oh yeah -- before dat MMC thang, he wuz in Star Search once, and he did sum stuff wit the Grand Ol' Opry or somethin'. When he gots da time, Justin be kickin' it with his homies shootin' hoops o' shakin' his booty ta Blackstreet 'n' Mase. But he ain't ir... irres... irresponsi... aw, sh*t, dat word's too long fer me ta spell. Justin ain't dat bad, dat's all. I hear he gots a good head on dem shoulders. Dem 'N SYNC crew says he be res... responsi... aw, mutha f*cka, here we go again. Dem words got too many letters, I tell ya! Damn... dat Justin is hella fine! All dem honeys out dere would wanna *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* him if dey had da chance. And then they'd get a spatula and *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* da pimp's big ol' *CENSORED*. Then J.C. would wanna join in and *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* too, but Justin would *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and *CENSORED* 'em. Dat's downright *CENSORED* *CENSORED*, y'know wat I'm sayin'? Alla y'all gots ta know dat I'm gettin' tired o' writing, so I be out. I be writing mo' stuff 'bout da man later. Yeeeeeah! Let's play some basketball, baby! The interpreter is currently on vacation. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Observations
~ How many piercings does that boy have?!
~ Have any of you noticed that Justin's voice cracks or goes off key once in a while when he sings? Even though he's obviously a talented singer, sometimes, while on stage, Justin would just suddenly start singing the wrong notes ("Tearin' Up My Heart" from the Disney Channel In Concert Special immediately springs to mind). It's not that bad, though; you can really get a good laugh out of it. :)
~ Just like his buddy J.C., he sure does have trouble keeping that tongue of his INSIDE his mouth... It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
~ If he actually went to school for once, he'd probably be outraged by the fact that the oh-so-scholarly vocabulary term "y'all" is not listed in the dictionary.
~ In IWYB, Justin can never get through the line "You're the one I want, you're the one I need" without giving a good pubescent squeal. Damn those raging hormones...
~ Too bad Justin had to give up that neat-o fuzzy hairdo of his. I thought it looked pretty good. So how did he maintain that short-lived fuzz, anyway? He probably stuck his fingers into an electrical outlet or something.
*~*Straight From Our Mouth's*~*
It's pretty obvious that out of the entire group, Justin is the most popular with the ladies. (Hey, I admit it... that guy is hot.) So why are people saying he's a stuck-up bastard? (Excuse the harsh language.) Of course, no one really reads that kind of stuff on the 'N SYNC fan websites or in magazines. But most of us know what really is being said about Justin. For example, when I first heard of 'N SYNC, I had absolutely no idea who Justin was; I didn't remember him from MMC because he was so young back then (I didn't care much for the littluns). Whenever I showed my CD to people, every person would say, "Oh, I remember that Justin bastard from MMC. He has a big head." I have to defend Justin here -- for those of you who think he's conceited, how the heck would you know?! I'm sure you've never even met the guy! So unless you have some actual grievance against him, don't make assumptions. Otherwise I'll personally come to your doorstep and kick your @$$phalt.