Rubber sled, thats what I said
Now Playing: Sensual Armed Forces

I have the feeling that I'm going to become very stressed out within the next month. Skool. You know. Essays. Essays that, for whatever reason, I have such difficulty beginning until a week before they are due. What is my problem? Why, Weezie, why?

In other news, Harry Potter opening night in two days!! I'm beyond pumped. Okay, that was an exaggeration. I was more into it a month or two ago, my excitement has gone on just long enough to die a little. But who knew that Dan Radcliffe had such good taste in music? I now have a little respect for him.

Things are different when there is a guy in your life. I have to shave my legs regularly. But its almost winter. If I were alone, I would have no need to shave my legs. Geez. I bought new sheets today. They're black and match my comforter much better. Like I even care about that. Urges to have things that make my home look better. Thats not how I used to be.

Its funny. In all of the fantastic digital paintings and glamour shots I've seen of Hyde over the years, I've never really taken notice of his face. Sure, I noticed that he was a Japanese boy with a beautiful face, but I didn't really see any distinction between him and other visual kei stars. Until I watched Moon Child the other night. Hideto has amazing character in his face, a unique smile and eyes. Now I know why people love to draw him so much.

I made his mother smile....
Now Playing: "I'm Waking Up to Us" - Belle & Sebastian
This made me laugh out loud:

Q: why did you call yourself Rocky Dennis?


A: Rocky Dennis is actually my real name. I saw this very touching movie from the 80's about the guy Jens Lekman who was born disfigured but won everyones love with his big warm heart. He falls in love with a girl but her parents won't let them stay together. I wrote a song about him and the girl and then a radio DJ thought Jens Lekman was my given name. So I had to change it cause people were talking about Jens Lekman all the time. My mom named me Rocky cause when I was a kid I liked to rock back and forth so she started calling me Rocky.... my mom is Cher by the way. She's a biker and she used to be a coke addict but I got her out of it.

Hehehe. But, seriously, Jens Lekman is pretty cool. And scandenavian. Mmmmm.

Now Playing: VHS or Beta

It really does make me happy when my friends are happy. Okay, there was a time when it would only make me more bitter about not having what I want. But, hey, life's a rollercoaster, everyone hits their ups and downs. If a friend is at a high point, that is something to be celebrated! I'm certainly not at a low.

My current dilemma. Everyone knows about it, everyone knows how I'm handling it, and everyone thinks I'm doing the wrong thing. I know I am! I know I should back away or give up or whatever. It just reminds me of when I was going to Kendall and dating Jeff. We never saw each other. Who knows what he was even doing during that time? I mean, I have a pretty good idea, he's a very respecatble person. But the point is, time spent apart is time spent growing apart. ? This doesn't sound like me. And I don't really believe any of my justifications for what I'm trying to do here.

I quit the Humane Society today. That sucks. I think I like the idea of working there more than I actually like working there. But I think I could've been friends with Todd if I'd known him longer. I don't think the other employees really cared for me at all though. But, I'll have more time for Michaels and drawing. Priorities! Those are mine, I suppose.

It's hardly easy
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Jason Mraz (shut your mouth, he's a talented musician!)

I'm pretty stressed out. I started my second job at the animal shelter. Its not as glamorous as I had hoped. Its hard and dirty work with shitty pay, but time goes fast. And the people are nice and actually listen to decent music while they work! But the whole scheduling between the CAHS and Michaels is really fucked up, and I don't know how to take care of it. I'm confused and it feels like for the first time ever, there is a chance that things can't work out in my favor. Damn, that smarts.... I might have to quit the CAHS already.

My legs are in some serious pain since fencing practice last night. I could barely move this morning, and it hasn't gotten much better throughout the day. Bending down is the worse, I keep nearly colapsing. I'm not complaining though! Fencing was the most fun I've had doing a real workout. I was sweating and everything! And I keep thinking of how toned my legs are going to become. Fantastic!

I am so infatuated with a boy that I've only had like four real conversations with, the most recent being a couple months ago. I gave up on him back then because he had a girlfriend. Does he still? I don't know, and I wouldn't care, if it weren't for the fact that I've randomly begun having dreams about him at night. They've rekindled my interest. I wish I could see him, but I don't think we're at school at the same time (yes, we go to school together). I was even going to post a picture of him here, but decided against it for obvious reasons.

He's not the only one I'm interested in right now, but there is one that I wish would lose his interest in me. Thats harsh, and not all the way true, but.... Tomas has been calling/emailing and stuff, which is nice because I like him and "treasure our relationship" or whatever, but it seems that the more we talk, the less we have in common. There were simpler times when it was just, "You like cats too?! Lets go make out!" Now, he likes to reveal his recent... exploits to me, and wants me to do the same. But I have no similar stories to tell him (nor does any person I know or associate myself with). And its just... gah.. I'm losing interest, I suppose. I didn't reply to his last email, but he kept writing to me. I don't want to lose his friendship, I just want to cool it down. Ya know? The way normal foreign pen pals write to each other.

I've got one for you: I've locked myself out of the apartment three times in the past two days. Is that funny, or pathetic/sad/incredibly fucking frustrating? Its terribly inconvenient. I always look for three things before I leave: my phone, my wallet and my keys. Always. And yet I keep misplacing my keys. How? I don't get it, I always make such a good point about grabbing them. Today I couldn't find them until a few minutes ago when I spotted them lying in the cat's bed. How did this happen? Am I losing my mind?

I'm a little disappointed about missing Sufjan last night. But I am completely sad and bitter about not being able to go to the Bloc Party show tomorrow. :( Sad Weezie, Weezie's sad...

"C'mon Cher, we're late for the feast!"
Now Playing: 2 Postal Service songs in a row, I thought this thing was on random?!
Since I've updated my journal, I've been to Europe and back. I've been broke. I've been frustrated with my friends. I've been without seeing my therapist for long enough to receive letters in the mail. I've also been to see March of the Penguins, which gets my thumbs up.

So what's this Angelfire blog builder all about? Is it worth replacing my old site journal? This is the test, I suppose. It can't compete with livejournal, but then again I never really write anything worth reading in my LJ anyway. The important stuff is here!

As I mentioned earlier, I'm broke. I have less money than I've ever had since I started my working career. I actually bought food from a company called "Budget Gourmet". My food shopping at Meijer yesterdady cost less than $3. But my dad gave me $40 in cash today, and I will be borrowing several hundred dollars to pay my rent with as well. Sick. I hate this situation. I'm going to go all out with my art this year, lessons, comissions and all that. I really need the money, but will not have time for a second job with school and everything.

I think Cher would be in Slytherin.

I saw a preview for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire today. I'm so excited for this one. The fourth book was definitely my favourite, and also the first one that I read. It will make an excellent movie. Its also nice that the characters are older. I always felt odd cheering on 12 year olds in their romantic endevours and such, but teenagers are more relatable, right? Hey, I never said Hermione was hot, unlike some people... Fred and George, on the other hand...