Character List
The following is a list of all the major Simpsons Characters
Everyone Who's Anyone!!!
Homer J. Simpson
Age: 36
Weight: Between 239 and 260 lbs.
Occupation: Worker drone/Safety Inspector, Sector 7G, Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. (Holds plant record for most years worked at an enty-level position.)
Awards: The C. Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence (after Burns found out Homer was sterile due to radiation exposere), Employee of the Month at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant (after saving the plant from meltdown), Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Belching Contest Winner, Grammy Award for "Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year" for his work with the Be Sharps. High school reunion trophies for: most weight gained, most hair lost, most improved odor, and person who travelled the least distance.
Favorite Foods: Donuts, Pork Rinds Light, Chippos, Krusty Burgers, pork shops, steak, bulk seafood, and honey roasted peanuts.
Favorite Beverages: Duff (#1), and Buzz Cola (#2).
Surgeries: A triple bypass operation, resulting from his love of the aforementioned foods.
Favorite Pastime: Sitting on the couch while watching TV and drinking beer.
Favorite Store: The Kwik-E-Mart.
Says: "D'oh!" when upset, "Mmm" when tempted.
Extracurricular: Mistaken for Bigfoot. Mascot for the Springfield Isotopes. Commited to a mental institution. Manager for country singer Lurleen Lumpkin. Proprietor of the Mr. Plow snowplowing service. Member of the Bee Sharps barbershop quartet. Went into space as a NASA astronaut. Charged with sexual harassment for pulling a Gummi Venus de Milo off a babysitter's backside. Neighbor of former presidents George Bush and Gerald Ford. Cannonball target with traveling freak show at Hullabalooza. Unknowing assistant to super-terrorist Scorpoi in his plot to take over the east coast. Climbed into the ring with world heavyweight champ. Alcohol bootlegger during short-lived Springfield Prohibition. Voice of the "Itchy & Scrathy" character, "Poochie."
Marge Simpson
Age:34
Shoe Size:13AA
Familial Role: Thread that holds Simpson family together.
Famous for: Her marshmallow squares.
Things occasionally found in her hair: Large sums of money, cats, roosters, and Maggie.
Jobs: Strikebreaking teacher at Springfield Elementary, worker at nuclear power plant, carhop waitress, Springfield police officer, pretzel franchisee.
Criminal Record: Convicted of misdemeanor shoplifting.
Admires: Artie Ziff, Mr. Burns, Moe, Springfield Isotopes player Flash Baylor.
Political Affiliations: Mary Bailey supporter. Twice voted for Jimmy Carter.
Hair Dye: Blue #56
Favorite Singer: Tom Jones
Turn-ons: Having her elbow nibbled, Homer's "Mr. Plow" jacket.
Quirks: Cooks with less than eight spices. Believes potatoes are neat. Denied having two of Milhouse's teeth, despite the fact that she did. Often sleeps naked. Has webbed feet.
Extracurricular: Lead role in community musical production of "Oh! Streetcar." Considered an affair with kegling pro, Jaques. Came up with idea for Springfield to host a film festival. Organized town-wide boycott of "Ithchy & Scratchy" to eliminate violence on TV. Developed gambling addiction. Briefly stopped loving Bart after he shoplifted. Went on lam with criminal neighbor, Ruth Powers. Enjoyed pampering herself after a nervous breakdown at Rancho Relaxo. Conquered fear of flying after making peace with the fact that her father was a fligh attendant. Commisioned by Mr. Burns to paint his portrait. Once encouraged Lisa to smile despite the fact that she was depressed.
Bart Simpson
Age: 10
Personality: Devious, underachieving, school-hating, irreverent, clever.
Known aliases: Rudiger, El Barto.
Abilities: Possesses a huge repertoire of practical jokes and methods of revenge, with antics ranging from vandalism to international fraud. Prank calls to Moe's Tavern are a specialty.
Discoveries: A comet that nearly destroyed Springfield, Blinky the three-eyed fish.
Idol: Krusty the Clown.
Past loves: Jessica Lovejoy, Laura Powers.
Extracurricular: Sawed off the head of a statue of town founder Jebediah Springfield. Decimated the Australian ecosystem with a bullfrog. Decieved Springfieldians into thinking that a boy named Timmy O'Toole had fallen down one of the town's wells. Made a mockery of a school weather balloon launch by transforming the balloon into an effigy of Principal Skinner. Blew Agnes Skinner off of teh commode by throwing a cherry bomb into a toilet in the boy's bathroom. Mistaken for a genius after swapping IQ tests with fourth-grade class brain, Martin Prince. Forced to make antifreeze-laced wine on a student exchange trip to France. Caused marital discord by taking picture of drunken Homer cavorting with belly-dancer, Princess Kashmir. Lead a war against neighborhood bully, Nelson Muntz. Enjoyed brief, injurious career as a daredevil. Nearly disowned by his sister after ruining her Thanksgiving centerpiece. Deadlocked with Todd Flanders in a miniture golf tourney. Saved Mr. Burns's life by donating rare double O-negative blood. Led a rebellion at Kamp Krusty. Helped clear Krusty the Clown's name and finger Sideshow Bob in a Kwik-E-Mart robbery framing. Became famous on Krusty's show as the "I Didn't Do it Boy." Finked on Krusty to the IRS for tax fraud. Win an elephant in a radio contest. Served a brief stint as Mr. Burns's heir. Sold his soul for $5.
Lisa Simpson
Age:8
Role in family:Moral center and middle child.
Once called herself: "The saddest kid in grade number two."
Plays: Saxaphone (and occasionally, the guitar).
First Word as a Baby: "Bart."
Obsession: Ponies
First Crush: Substitute teacher Mr. Bergstrom.
Second Crush: Nelson Muntz.
Perpetual Crush: Several actors named Corey.
Past Addictions: The Corey Hotline, Trucker's Choice Stay-Awake Tablets.
Extracurricular: Mentored by late jazzman Bleeding Gums Murphy. Busted her father for an illegal cable hookup. Won regional Reading Digest essay contest, but lost the national competition in Washington, D.C., after losing faith in government. Served brief term as Little Miss Springfield until she became disillusioned by pageant sponsorship by Laramie Cigarettes. Desired by Ralph Wiggum. Desgusted by the talking Malibu Stacey doll's lack of integrity, coinvented poor-selling Lisa Lionhart doll. All-star goalie in pee-wee hockey. Discovered Jebediah Springfield was a pirate. Assisted Mr. Burns in recovering his lost fortune. Passed the second grade as the first female cadet at Rommelwood Military Academy. Refused to participate in "The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour."
Maggie Simpson
Age:1
Role: Pacifier-sucking Simpson child.
Monetary Value: (according to supermarket scanner) $847.63.
Only True Enemy: Gerald, the baby with one-eyebrow.
Dexterity: Low. Falls over often.
First Word: "Daddy"
Extracurricular: Untied Bart and Lisa after they were bound by notorious Babysitter Bandit. Knows what a credenza is. Can spell out "E=MC2" with her toy blocks and scribble "MAGGIE SIMPSON" on her Etch-A-Scetch. Occasionally drinks from the dog dish. Bonked Homer on head with a mallet and attacked him with a pencil, imitating cartoon violence. Possibly saved her father's life by catching a beer bottle flying at his head. Led a baby rebellion at the Ayn Rand School for Tots. Shot Charles Montgomery Burns.
