Funny-Stupid-Gay-Quotes

Hey most of these are so dumb but tell me if ya no anything funnier!

Quotes

• Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Rachel Welch to the back of a bus. . -Boy George
• - Boy George makes me sick. . - - Madonna
• I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.- The Who
• I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. -- Jessica Rabit
• If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen.- - Dolly Parton
• Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. --Robin Williams
• I didnt have any corn!maybe?- Fat Bastard
• If you live to be a hundred,I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,so I never have to live without you. -- Winnie the Pooh
• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
• An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind-Ghandi
• Were the suckiest bunch of suckers that ever sucked!- Homer Simpson
• Every relationship Ive been in ive overwhelmed the girl. They just cant handle all the love.-Justin Timberlake
• We dont have a host and its hard to vote yourself off when youre the only one on it. comparing Cast Away to Survivor-Tom Hanks
• Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. -- Robin Williams
• We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out.- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

Bits of Wisdom

• Fighting for Peace is like Fucking for Virginty
• Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped
• Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat.
• Life's not all beer and skittles
• The girl who can't dance says the band can't play
• You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person
• Remeber ladies condoms dont protect you from a broken heart!
• Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life.
• Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool
• Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow
• You cannot unscramble eggs.
• Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.

Weird isnt it?

• Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system
• Suicide Hotline...please hold
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have s in it?
• Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
• Why do police officers wear tight clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them slower when chasing someone?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• Why does "lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi River)?
• Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
• When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the palm of your hand?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• How come, in the Mini Wheat’s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat’s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?
• Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn’t people aim for their head or crotch?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway?
• If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
• Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
• If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?
• Is bad a bad word?
• Why is there not a Channel 1 on TV?
• When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?
• Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?