Psychiatric Hotline

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. 

 If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. 

 If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. 

 If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. 

 If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. 
     Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. 

 If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell 
     you which number to press. 

 If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
      No one will answer. 

  

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