In 1967 the zombies ate Pittsburgh in Night Of The Living Dead.
In 1979 they took over every shopping mall in America in "Dawn of the Dead"
And now,
in the third installment of George Romero's NIGHT
OF THE LIVING DEAD trilogy, the zombies are IN CONTROL.
There are about 12
folks left, and they're all hiding down in Everglades-land,
wandering around an underground missile silo, saying the f-word a
lot. Their plan is to herd the zombies into cattle chutes and
wire em up for brain search. Then they start teaching them to use
Sony Walkmans and Gillette Trac 2 razors. And finally, this zoot-
suit doctor in a bloody smock says, "We can DOMESTICATE these
zombies!"
But the military commander wants to turn his geek
soldiers loose with Uzis and waste the z-man population and
copter himself over to Guatemala and hide out in the jungle.
Meanwhile, one of the chained-up zombies is starting to
UNDERSTAND. He's starting to read old Stephen King novels and
demand double helpings of Hamburger Helper. But before they have
time to teach him to count to four, one of the wimp guerrillas
turns into mental Jello, and another zombie gets out of her pen
and eats off the limbs of three people, and for the next four
we've got the living fighting the dead fighting the living dead
in the all-time gross-out paint-the-walls-red intestine feast of
the eighties.
Approximately 1,500 zombies.
A 92 on the Vomit
Meter.
435 gallons blood.
Nine dead bodies.
Thirty-seven undead dead bodies.
Two dead breasts.
Three and a half heads roll.
Ears roll.
Fingers roll.
Arms roll.
Stomachs roll.
Necks roll.
Cheeks roll.
Eyeball rolls.
Guts roll.
Gratuitous man-eating alligator.
Hypodermic Fu.
One motor vehicle chase.
Soldier-feeding.
Best line comes from Antone DiLeo, who plays the wimp: "Look! It's a miracle! He doesn't see us as lunch!"
With Lori Cardille as the bimbo scientist,
Terry Alexander as the copter pilot,
Richard Liberty as the crazed scientist,
Joseph Pilato as the evil commando,
and Howard Sherman as Bub the Zombie, the most lovable on-screen dead person since Rita Jenrette. 
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs. All Rights Reserved. Not an AOL Time-Warner Company in this lifetime.
