Welcome to
The Grinning Elf
Greetings friends, and welcome to the Grinning Elf. Summon up a stool and sit for a spell. It helps if you call the stools by name. The one over in the corner is called Fester. He's mild mannered, and shouldn't give you much trouble. Sit and listen, and I will weave a story or two for you. The stories I tell may shock and amaze you. With any luck they will make your head spin until you tumble off poor Fester and collapse onto the floor. Although these stories may seem a trifle odd I assure you every one of them is true. Or at least the truth as I remember it. I'm getting up in years, and my mind isn't what it once was, so some of the facts may be blurred. Perhaps I added something here and there. Come to think of it none of these stories are true. But they are interesting. I tend to rattle on a bit, so I'll get to the point. I have built this as a shrine to all things odd. Consider this a temple, where the insane can come and pay homage, free from the persecution of those who consider themselves "normal." I have assembled a collection of short stories from some of the greatest unpublished authors of our time. If anyone wishes to submit a story or link the page, please E-Mail me at The Smug Elf Or, if you are among those who use AOL instant messenger just start talking to TheSmugElf, and like magic he will talk back. At any rate, the stories are below. Please enjoy this sanctuary of insanity.
To Hell With It by Jeremy Bro - A story about the economic crisis which faces Hell
The Twerp by Ben Grimm - The unfortunate tale of Ivan who faced countless tribulations on a daily basis. WARNING:This story is a tad on the mean spirited side. If you choose to read it, then its no fair complaining later on.
The Undo Device by Matthew Green- The story of how one man screws with time in an attempt to meet women
Marlu Flandu - Reminiscing with a VERY SANE MAN by Ben Grimm - A touching tale of the simpler things in life
The Folley of the King's Reader by Matthew Green- A tale of how the king's reader is confronted with the dark little secret he's kept hidden for all these years
The Tag by Jeremy Bro - An eye opening warning of how the government moniters us in ways we can't even imagine
Forced Sell-out by Matthew Green- A gripping story of the shift of power on Earth through the purchase of stocks
The Truth of Flouride by Ben Grimm - A frightening tale of the danger that lurks in toothpaste
Have a Nice Day by Jeremy Bro - My experiences while emloyed by an unamed store
The Last Straw by Jeremy Bro - The dark little tale of a scarecrow seeking revenge
Dead Trial by Matthew Green- One Dead Man's quest to bring those he holds reponsible for his death to justice
Pan Shaped Cakes* - A story about a baking competition gone horribly horribly wrong
A Seperate Story Involving Nog the Foo*
E-Mailing God* - He's out on the internet, if only he would respond
What's that you say? You have stories? If this is true, send them to me so I can display them proudly for all to see. If this is not true, then you are a filthy liar, and the world would be a better place if you were not in it. For your sake, I hope it was the former. Send your stories to: The Smug Elf.
Now, suddenly you find yourself with no more stories to read. Be it that you read them all (Bravo, you are one of life's winners), or you scrolled to the bottom of the page (The more likely possibility). At any rate, at this point you are no doubt asking yourself, "What now? Am I now forced to leave this jolly, care-free realm, and return to the tedium of my actual life?" The answer: No. Yes that's right, you can stave off returning to the real world where socks and cars abound, at least for a few more minutes. But, that's not all. Not only do you get to stay in this floating isle of chaos a little while longer, but you get to add to it. That's right, you get to put some of your own thoughts up for all the passers-by to see and mock. Yes, here in this happy land your thoughts do matter (don't get to excited, you haven't seen how trivial it all is yet). Without further ado I present to you the Survey of the month. The rules are simple: I ask a question, you answer it. If I actually get any responses, I will post them for all to see. Enjoy.
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Many of the stories on this page come from The Insanity Post, an inspired newsletter put together by a friend of mine. To subscribe E-Mail him at: MisterPurple@juno.com
Still more of the stories on this page come from Ford's House of Waffles
Yet even more of the stories on this site can be found at X-Stream Home
Then of course, there is my personal homepage which contains no stories, but a lot of odd things. jOjO's House of Previously Owned Aardvarks
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