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ENGLAND, 2000

The thing that strikes me most every time we go to England is not how alike we are, but how different. The only thing we share is a common language and even that is a myth because the differences almost outweigh the similarities. I'll often make a quiz called "English is a Foreign Language" and very few people can identify one word. Even eating is a challenge because of the different names for common things. Egg/ham/tuna salad sandwiches are egg/ham/tuna with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, etc. If you want a tuna salad sandwich you'd ask for tuna mayonnaise. Ham steak is gammon. Bread preferences are brown or white instead of wheat, etc.

The most striking difference, however, is the country itself. I'll never tire of driving through the countryside and see nothing but green fields surrounded by stone fences or hedge rows and grazing sheep as far as the eye can see. Being there in March is the best time because it's lambing season and seeing all the adorable sheeplets is wonderful. Other than a puppy, there's nothing cuter than a little lamb.

We arrived in London and hopped onto a coach which took us to Sheffield where we were greeted by our Mavis and her son Peter. We checked into our 17th century farmhouse, Middleton Green Farm, where we spent the first three nights.

The first day we went to the City Center where Mavis took us to see a trial in Magistrate Court (she is a retired Magistrate). It was fascinating to see the differences in our court systems and, since she knew so many of the people, we got to talk to several people that worked in the court. The purpose of the Magistrate Court is to determine if the accused should be given bail or probation and/or bound over for trial in Crown Court. Evidence is given to three Magistrates, who are lay people that volunteer to try these cases. They are assisted by a clerk (pronounced "clark" in the UK), who is an attorney, in case there is a legal question.

The next day we went back to City Center where we attended a murder trial in Crown Court. This is where the Barristers wear the white wigs and black robes. We were asked to stand, a door opened, and in walks a man in formal attire carrying a long, thin, silver pole-like thing. He is followed by another man wearing a black velvet suit, a shirt with a lace bib thing and carrying a sword and white gloves. Next appears the judge wearing a red robe and carrying white gloves. I leaned over to Mavis and whispered "You've got to be kidding me".

The jury was seated below us, so I didn't see them but the accused was a doctor, however we don't know who he was supposed to have murdered. We sat through some boring testimony about the affect of certain drugs on the brain which we determined was the man's defense (or defence to the English). I hope Mavis can find out what happened.

The next day we were picked up (in a Mercedes van no less) by John Bakes, our private guide (www.thorntontours.co.uk ((a free plug)) ) with whom we would spend the next week touring the Yorkshire Dales. A vale is a long depression between hills about a mile across. A dale is more narrow and a valley is the most narrow. They always have a river flowing through them and are named for the river (Airedale is the dale through which the Aire river flows).

On our way to our home base of Haworth, we stopped at the village of Holmfirth which is where the long running program "Last of the Summer Wine" shoots some of their series. Although I've never heard of it, Mavis got a kick out of seeing the exterior scenes.

We walked around the village and came upon the gallery of Ashley Jackson, a famous water color artist who does many shows on The Learning Channel and PBS. As luck would have it he was there and we spent quite a bit of time talking with him. He, Mavis and John are all Magistrates so it was interesting discussing politics from both points of view. Luckily we were all in agreement on all issues and his studio wasn't destroyed by a violent fight. These are the kinds of things that make our travels so special and it's one I shall always remember fondly.

After driving through the magnificent countryside we arrived at our stately 18th century home, Ashmont House in the village of Haworth. This home was built by the physician to the Bronte family and where Charlotte, Emily, Ann and the rest of the family were treated. This is also the village in which the Brontes lived and died.

Our first day in the dales took us to Bolton Abbey Estate in Wharfedale which is the estate of the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire. We took a long walk following the Strid Wood nature trail which follows the river Wharfe. The Strid is a point at which the river narrows and surges through a narrow gorge. Many have died trying to jump across this point, one of whom was the son of the Duke and Duchess in the 12th century. His body was never found and when the Augustinians wanted to build a priory, they put it in a spot where the son's body might have lain in tribute to him.

For some reason only half of the abbey was destroyed by Henry VIII, probably as a favor to the Duke and Duchess who might have had friends in high places. Because of this you can see the destruction of a church 'before and after' which was very interesting.

Our next stop was Rievaulx Abbey in Wensleydale which was the first Cistercian monastery in northern England, built in 1132. The valley was flooded and the huge stones were floated to the site on barges. Abbeys were always built in the shape of a cross and faced north. Due to a hill on the property where the abbey was being built it couldn't face true north and was built facing ecclesiastic north and the only abbey so situated. Also, all dead were buried with their feet facing east because it was thought they would rise to the east for resurrection.

We next went to Whitby Abbey which was built in 1078 on the site of a celtic monastery dating from 654. The monastery was founded by St. Cedd who brought Christianity to this part of England and lies buried beneath the crypt.

The following day we went to Pickering Church which has an impressive example of medieval wall paintings. Most have been plastered over and/or destroyed but these were uncovered during a renovation. When they were new they would have been much more vibrant and most churches and castles would have been decorated with these wall paintings.

We couldn't spend too much time in the church because they were getting ready for a service. Dave noticed there was an American flag in the nave and asked the vicar why. It turns out that the man that laid out the streets in Washington, D.C. came from the village of Pickering.

Next we went to the fishing town of Whitby where Captain Cook lived. We came to see the church which is supposed to be very interesting but I can't report on it because it was closed. Instead we walked down (and up, aarrggghhh) 99+ steps to the old village where Captain Cook lived. The village is pretty much the same as it was when he was there, as is the case for most things in England, thank goodness. This is also supposed to be the place where Dracula was to have landed.

The next day we went to the village of Middleham to see Middleham Castle, the childhood home of Richard III. When a castle or an important building is destroyed, the villagers take the stone to build their homes rather than having to bring it in from a remote location. You could see how all the houses and barns around the castle used the stones from the ruins.

This is racehorse country and there were many horse barns around the castle and magnificent horses in the fields. They would exercise them by riding them through the village, something you'd never see in the U.S. The barns and farms are very spartan compared to the palaces built for thoroughbreds here.

Another day, another church this time in Wensleydale. The Church of the old Trinity was built in 1245 by the third Lord Bolton. His wife was an actress and missed London so he had their private pews built like the boxes in Drury Lane so she would feel at home. They had box pews for the wealthy and they would bring their dogs to church and keep them in their private pews.

We next visited Bolton Castle in Wensleydale. Completed in 1399 it was the stronghold of the Scrope family and has connections to Richard III. Mary Queen of Scots was imprisoned here for six months. She was accompanied by 51 attendants and probably cost the Scropes family a fortune. When a monarch would go on a 'progress' they would stay in homes of the lords of the land. The unfortunate host would have to entertain so many people, so lavishly, it would often bankrupt them.

Although the building was heavily damaged during the Civil War and storms it is one of the few castles in northern England that wasn't totally ruined and their walls plundered by local villagers. It is fairly well preserved and even has some of the original 600 year old beams. It was one of the most luxurious dwellings and unusual because each private apartment had its own garde-robe (toilet) with plumbing so sophisticated they were still in use in Victorian times.

Many of the remaining rooms have been reconstructed to show what life in a medieval castle might have been. It was one of the most interesting parts of our trip.

The main court yard had five openings, each with a portcullis (gate that can be raised by a winch) and strong wooden door. If the enemy got passed the gate house they would be in the court yard and the doors and gates closed holding them for archers to kill them from the windows in the castle.

Another unusual feature is the circular staircases which usually spiral in a clockwise direction giving maximum space for fighting the enemy with a sword. The staircases in the castle climb the wrong way.

Next we visited Aysgarth Falls which is the place in the movie "Robin Hood, Prince of Theives" with Kevin Costner where Robin Hood fought Little John. It was a beautiful area.

Although it sounds like all we did was go from one church to another, in doing so we had to travel through the typical magnificent green scenery that is England. Everywhere you see sheep which at this time of the year is great because it's lambing season. This area is known for their dry stone fences which the people were made to build around their property by the landowners. The fields were strewn with stones and this served a two-fold purpose. They built fences to keep their livestock from straying and was a good way to clear the fields.

Each dale has a different type of stone and the fences, which are feats of engineering, change depending on the local stone and style of building. It is said that the stone used for building the fences could build the Great Wall of China with some to spare! These fences line the single lane (two way) roads. It's lucky this is 'civilized' England because you have to rely on one car or the other to pull aside to allow another to pass. Here we'd just play a game of 'chicken' . . . .

The next day brought us to Hubberholme and an unusual church dating to the 12th century. It has one of the very few rood lofts to have escaped the edict of Elizabeth I that all such ornamentation should be destroyed. The pews were made by Thompson of Kilburn who often carved a mouse on his work because he said carvers were poor as church mice. Every church will have a yew tree in front because, in medieval times, it was thought they would ward off the devil.

Along the way we would have to dodge sheep that stood in the middle of the road to lick the salt put on the road during the winter. They just ignore the cars and lick away. Boneheads!!! Also dotting the landscape are the beautiful stone barns and pheasants in almost every field.

Our final stop was Wycoller, a tiny village. Here we saw an example of a packhorse bridge dating to 1200 which was about three feet wide, just wide enough for the horse carrying the wool and the farmer. The people wore 'clogs' which were wooden soled shoes covered with leather vamps. The blacksmith would make horseshoe shaped cleats for the soles which they would replace when worn. The stones on the bridge were worn from the horseshoes on both the horse and the farmer.

We also went into an ancient aisled barn. It was interesting to see how the supporting timbers rested on large stones. The trees weren't tall enough for the high ceilings so they put them on stones. Must have worked because the barn stands to this day.

Also in the village was what's called the Clapper Bridge (don't know why) or the Druid Bridge which is probably over 1,000 years old. It used to be badly bowed because of the clogs but a farmer at some time chiseled the rock to make it safer.

So ends another wonderful trip to our beloved England. I can guarantee it won't be our last.

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