Deformed Finger- Hal Sirowitz

Don't stick your finger in the ketchup bottle,
Mother said. It might get stuck, and
then you'll have to wait for your father
to get home and pull it out. He
won't be happy to find a dirty fingernail
squirming in the ketchup that he's going to use
on his hamburger. He'll yank it out so hard
that for the rest of your life you won't
be able to wear a ring on that finger.
And if you ever get a girlfriend, and
you hold hands, she's bound to ask you
why one of your fingers is deformed
and you'll be obligated to tell her how
you didn't listen to your mother, and
insisted on playing with a ketchup bottle,
and she'll get to thinking, He probably won't
listen to me either, and she'll push your hand away.

just breathe