I like these types of homes. This looks like "Hometown USA" Fireworks on a typical 4th of July at the Arch

September 11, 2002 Today is of course a sad day in America. I woke up, turned on CNN and saw the memorial at 'Ground Zero.' They were listing everyone's name that died there. The cameras showed people crying and it made me get teary eyed. By now, I'm almost a little overdosed on it. I have looked thru pics on the victims at CNN.com. I guess I feel that people deserve to be remembered. Not just a number, 'oh 3,000 people died.' One thing I did was look at the faces of the youngest victims and the oldest. There was a 2 year old girl that died with her parents. Really sad stuff...But I dont know how much more I can take. Last night, I was actually afraid to go to sleep. Silly as it might sound, I thought something bad might happen while I was sleeping. I kind of half-joked around with Chad about sleeping in shifts, "you stay awake the first four, I take the next." He pointed out that if we did that then it would be like, 'hey, wake up, we're going to die.' So, I dont know which would be worse; dieing in your sleep or knowing it was coming. Either way, I'm afraid to die. All of this talk about Iraq aquiring nuclear weapons is making me nervous. Its like we cant just blow it off anymore and say, 'oh that will never happen,' because last year we thought the same thing. We thought we were safe and then four planes crashed. When you are dealing with crazy people, you just never know. You cant predict their behavior. These are people who are willing to kill themselves for some cause. I hope that nothing ever happens like that again. I also hope we are not in some violent, crazy war where everyone blows the world to pieces. My boyfriend, Chad, might have to go to Iraq, if we go to war. That would just kill me. I cant imagine him over there and something bad happening to him. I would of course really miss him and it would be weird without him around. but they can make him go whenever they want. We live together in an apartment at school and since we arent married, I dont know what i would do. Once, we talked about it and said we would have to get married and have a baby before he left. HA. from what i hear, they dont really get a lot of notice though. i know this is all depressing. Sept 12, 2002 Well, since summer is almost over I found this pic of the Arch online and put it up here. Chad and I always go to Fair St Louis for the 4th of July to see the fireworks. This year was a little bit different bc of the Sept. 11th attacks. There was security. (Military guys with big guns over their shoulders and metal detectors.) Chad was actually nervous about going. People thought something bad would happen. Also, this year, there was security at Six Flags. We had to go thru metal detectors and then they look thru your bag. But its okay bc i would rather be 'inconvenienced' then to have something bad happen. Sept 26 2002 Nothing new is going on. Last weekend, we went to my grandparents and stayed there. my little sister was there, as she is every weekend. we met them in 'the city' and went to an auction. we thought we might find something for our apartment at school. we roasted marshmellows on a fire down at the creek. sunday we went to the church/town picnic. my uncle came down with his wife and their son. he plays with my sister bc they are only a year apart. my mom was there visiting too. anyway, i saw a lot of relatives, which is always nice. i hate coming back to school. i have no family here. its lonely. there's no one down the road u can go visit or someone you can run into at the store. thats whats nice about small towns. even in st louis i have a few relatives. tomorrow chad's parents are coming, his dad and step-mom. it should be interesting. just as long as they dont want to go see 'harry potter' played on campus. no thanks!