****^1/2 Godzilla vs. Everybody!

Now where to start with this one? Well, it’s the 50^th Anniversary movie, and as such they decided to do something special, which means bringing back a whole lot of classic monsters for one all-out crazy celebration of sorts. With 14 monsters total, it beats the previous record, and at 125 minutes, it’s also the longest Godzilla movie ever. Yet with all this monster fun they’ve added a lot of other fun things as well.

It is the year 20XX (with Mega Man not in sight, surprisingly), as part of an alternate reality of sorts where the world is under constant threat by giant monsters running around. Combating this is the usual high technology weapons, as well as various super-powered mutant humans that keep being found. Using the "Gotengo", a large heavily armored land/sea/air submarine (greatly resembling the "Atragon"), Earth Defense Forces manage to bury Godzilla in ice down in Antarctica. Years latter a massive influx of monsters start trashing cities around the world, but are "defeated" by a "helpful" alien race, the "Xillians", who want to "save" the human race from an "asteroid". Anybody who has watched these sorts of movies before can tell that these aliens really just want to take over the earth and enslave humanity. The story gets semi-complex, but a number of memorable characters stand out. This includes a "special" mutant that does the whole "Neo-thing", a molecular biologist who doesn’t accomplish much, the alien second-in command who takes over the leader spot for his goal in becoming a typical super villain, and the rather unique Colonel Gordon (played by one of those "wrestlers turned movie star"). They spend the movie getting into massive kung-fu fights, ray-gun shootouts, motorcycle combat, and epic battles between flying subs and the alien forces. They also unleash Godzilla back onto the world, who cuts a path of destruction through numerous monsters controlled by the aliens. First he defeats Gigan in Antarctica, then heads for Sidney to fight with "Zilla", which is of all things the computer-generated monster from the 1998 "Godzilla" movie. The fight with "tuna-breath" doesn’t last long, and neither does the battles with Kumonga (Aspiga) and Kamacuras (the giant mantis). Godzilla then takes on Anguilus, Rodan, and King Seeser at the same time, but still wins. After ripping through Hedorah and Ebirah, he finally gets to Tokyo (where the alien mother-ship is). The human characters do most of the "blowing up the mother-ship" work, though. The final battle pits the combined effort of Godzilla and Mothra against Gigan (yep, Gigan again) and "Monster X" (who as it turns out is pretty much King Ghidorah). In the end Godzilla is the last kaiju standing, well except for Manilla (Minya), who convinces Godzilla to finally leave the humans alone. Well, what’s left of the human race.

This is the chocolate-chip cookie of Godzilla movies. You take a lot of common ingredients, stir them all together, and then add the familiar sweetness. What you get is a tasty wholesome base with a lot of yummy goodness scattered throughout. The four used comes from a variety of Japanese pop-culture, making the flick as a whole feel like a "Live-Action Anime Movie". The sugar, which adds the sweet taste that we’ve come to love, is grown from certain big-named entertainment such as The Matrix, Star Wars, and X-Men. Plus there is a healthy dose from old Toho movie and fairly recent anime remake, Atragon. The butter for this movie is the music, milked from various sources and giving our cookie a creamy texture. The eggs that bind the movie into a coherent object is the glorious movie making tradition that Toho has done for over a half a century. These guys still know what they are doing. Adding to the flavor is vanilla of in-jokes, a strong substance but nice to have in small amounts. Baking soda is used to give the movie a consistent texture, in the case of our cookie being a well-done stylized approach to the directing. The movie has a certain unique feel to it, but keeps that feel all throughout the movie. Once all of this is beaten with a wooden spoon, you throw some nuts (actors) into the batter. Then it’s time to add the good stuff: the chocolate chips. Already manufactured and ready to eat, they still can be even better once scattered throughout the cookie. Certain brands include "Destroy All Monsters", "Godzilla vs. Gigan", and even "Godzilla’s Revenge". There are 27 varieties in all, each of which makes it’s appearance known for your delicious enjoyment. Mix it up, spit into dozens of bite-sized pieces, bake at 375 degrees for a few months, and you’ll end up with a very tasty treat. Despite it’s large calorie content, it disappears quickly, with each flavor passing your tongue at a break-neck pace. Before you know it, you’ve eaten your cookie, and now you want to eat more.

All right, enough with the cookie analogy. The main thing you’ll note is how similar the movie is to "Destroy All Monsters" in that the sci-fi human plot pretty much takes over the movie, yet there is plenty of fun monster action to be had. "Gotengo" ends up fighting Godzilla in the beginning, and a little latter on fights Manda (a sort of rematch from "Atragon"). Once the monsters start attacking cities the fun really begins. Plenty of cities around the world get trashed, my personal favorite being Rodan’s attack of New York City. We also get mutant humans with powerful ray guns taking on Ebirah, and numerous flying submarines duking it out with a variety of kaiju. Now once Godzilla arrives he doesn’t take on all the monsters at once. Instead it’s mostly smaller battles against 1 to 3 kaiju. Unfortunately these battles are rather quick. In my opinion the preliminary battles leading up to the main one should have been longer, perhaps a minute longer each or so. Maybe I’m asking for too much, but when watching this sort of movie I expect full-fledge fights. Instead we get a bunch of small yet entertaining pieces. Unlike GMK, Godzilla takes out his enemies in a variety of methods, not just with his famous thermonuclear beam. The methods of combat are very fun to watch, although at times it gets perhaps a little to silly (like the game of soccer with Anguilus as the ball). The final 2 vs. 2 battle is the best one, even if it is intercut with human plot all the time. I guess the reason it works this time is because the humans are actually fighting as well. Mothra fighting Gigan was fun to watch, and the final struggle of Godzilla and Ghidorah was the sort of final battle you want to see. Good stuff overall. For the most part the special effects visually looks good as well, and fits with the overall stylization of the movie. Each monster has a new design and some new powers, and with the cartoony nature of the style, they still look good when computer generated. The "Zilla" found in this movie proves that Toho never was good with CGI when compared to bigger-budgeted projects, but they do prove that they can get the job done and still be entertaining. The lone exception is Manda, which in my opinion looks rather stupid when computer generated (but good when not). Of all the monsters found in this movie, the real standout one is Gigan. I’ve always like Gigan, and for me it’s great to see his rather large role here. The first battle with Godzilla was unfortunately short and anti-climatic, but luckily they revive him for the final showdown. He’s got a lot of new gadget attachments, and uses them to good effect. The main kaiju of the piece, Godzilla, is rather well done also. They pretty much boiled down 50 years of history and infused it into a single Godzilla. He’s good at times, he’s evil at times, and more often then not he’s neutral. Whatever he does, he acts like Godzilla, and the design makes him look like Godzilla no matter what he’s doing. No matter what sort of distractions this movie offers, deep down it truly is a Godzilla movie.

In some ways this is a tribute of Godzilla. In other ways it’s a whole new spin on Godzilla. Some have called it Godzilla’s retirement party, others have called it a new beginning. What Toho does next is up to them, but in all actuality I kind of doubt that this is the last movie. Every time they said they were going to stop making them, they keep bringing the big G back. I have a feeling that Toho is addicted to chocolate-chip cookies.

Well put together conglomerate of a plot

Great special effects overall

Terrific selection of music

A nice stylization that maintains itself throughout the movie

Very wide variety of entertainment from human, machine, and monster

Most of these kaiju have never looked better

Perhaps a little to campy and silly

Could have used more emphasis on actual kaiju plot

Goes so fast there is no time to sit down and explain anything

Chock-full of stuff, but not all was necessary, and most were ripped from other sources

Monster battles should have been a big longer

Everyone gets all these nifty new powers and abilities... except Mothra

Message to Toho: stop ruining continuity!

Credits