Miaka tossed and turned in her sleep. Her sweat-soaked blanket was tangled between her legs. She moaned as her nightmare took hold of her and flooded her senses…

“Where am I?”

Miaka was in a long white hallway with numerous doors on each side of the walls. Uncertainly, she walked down the long length and fidgeted with her hands.

“Hello? Anyone here? Tamahome? Hotohori? Nuriko?”

Her voice echoed off the walls and slowly receded, but with no response. Panic started to gather in her mind.

“Where is everyone? Am I alone?”

Miaka slumped down to the floor and started crying. Giant teardrops ran down her face as she whined her sad plight.

“Wah! They’ve all left me! They don’t want me anymore! I was just too much trouble for them! Tamahome! Tamahommmmmeeeee!!!”

The hallway shook with the force of Miaka’s horrendously high pitched voice. People all across the world heard her howls of “Tamahome” and thought the world had surely ended. It was either that or they lost their hearing completely.

Suddenly, one of the doors jarred open due to the resonance of Miaka’s cries. The distraught Miko wiped the salty moisture off her cheeks and looked into the room.

Bright light blinded Miaka as soft music filtered through her ears. The light slowly dimmed and Miaka lowered the hand that was covering her eyes. What she saw dropped her jaws to the ground.

A sumptuous bed covered in red silk was the centerpiece of the room. Orchestra music from an unknown source played quietly. Sweet scents floated heavily in the air as the pristine white walls glared in her eyes. But all of these did not catch Miaka’s attention. What had captivated Miaka’s gaze was the occupants of that bed.

“Tama…Tamahome?”

Tamahome ignored the Miko and continued his ministrations on Nakago. The blond Shogun groaned in pleasure and ran his long fingers through Tamahome’s green hair. Nakago grabbed the soft tresses and roughly pulled him up. Tamahome met Nakago’s lips with a passion Miaka had never seen in him.

“What…what’s happening? What kind of nightmare have I gotten myself into?”

Miaka was frozen in fascinated horror. Nakago bit Tamahome’s ear and teasingly whispered in his ear.

“Do you think she’s had enough?”

“Probably. But do you want to stop?”

Nakago licked Tamahome’s cheek. “Not if you don’t want to, Tama chan.”

“We’ll continue this later…first, let’s see how Suzaku no Miko is.”

Tamahome lifted himself off Nakago and turned to face Miaka. She was still frozen in the same spot, staring at them. Tamahome grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. He flashed her a cheerful smile.

“Hey, Miaka! How are you doing?”

She stared at him incredulously. Tamahome continued to smile as Nakago looped his arms around him.

“How can you ask me such a question? I walk into this room and find you in bed with Nakago! You hate Nakago! What is wrong with you? Don’t you love me anymore?! ”

“Of course I do! It’s just you’re not what I want in bed.”

“What?!” sputtered Miaka.

“I’m sorry, Miaka. I never wanted to tell you this but you leave me no choice. My love for you was destined, meaning I had no control over it. It was decided for me. When I met Nakago, he showed me how love really should be. All’s fair in love and war, right? And you must take on war mano o mano. So why not love?”

Tamahome leaned back into Nakago’s wide chest and smiled.

“Besides, he’s a better kisser than you.”

Miaka blanched. She slowly shook her head as she back away from them.

“This can’t be happening…it just can’t…”

With a jerking sob, Miaka turned and ran out of the room. The door closed behind her with a soft whoosh. With a broken heart, she collapsed to the floor.

Don’t you just love melodrama?

“Why? Why is Tamahome being so cruel to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?”

A mass of FY fans had to be swiftly silenced before they blew Miaka’s bubble.

She continued to wallow in her misery when a small voice in her head whispered to her.

“What’s wrong with you, Miaka? You’ve managed to get through so many obstacles before. You’re just going to let a silly little dream beat you down? Come on! Get up and find a way out of here!”

With determination burning in her heart, she got herself off the floor. She set her chin at a stubborn angle and faced the seemingly endless length of the hallway.

“That’s right! I am Suzaku no Miko! I’ve conquered all that came in my way and saved two worlds by calling Suzaku! Compared to that, this is nothing! I will get out of this nightmare!”

With genkiness flowing full blast in her veins, she surveyed her surroundings. With distaste, Miaka eyed all of the doors.

“Surely one of these doors will lead me out.”

With that decision, she wrenched open the next door.

“Excuse me? Anyone here?”

The room was an exact replica of the previous room, with the red silk bed and white walls. But except for the orchestra music, the Offspring was blaring from the radio.

“Oi, Miaka! What brings you here?”

Miaka could hardly hear Tasuki over the loud radio. But she didn’t need to hear him to see what was going on.

“Oh no! Not again!”

The two very naked bandits looked at each other.

“Again? What do you mean?” asked Kouji.

She pointed accusingly at Tasuki and Kouji. “You two! What do you think you’re doing?!”

The Bandit Duo looked at each other again. Then their faces brightened as realization hit them.

“Oh, you mean us together? Come on, Miaka. I’ve already told you I hate women. And Kouji is my best buddy! Don’t you think it’s natural for us to be in love? Right, lover?”

“Exactly.” Kouji tugged on Tasuki’s hair until he was lying flat on the bed. “Now if you’ll excuse us, Suzaku no Miko, we gotta get back to business.”

The last thing Miaka saw as she closed the door was Kouji tangled in Tasuki’s embrace.

“Damn it! What kind of sicko stuck me in here!”

She marched to the next door, yanking it open.

“There better not be anymore perverts in here!!”

A soft voice answered her ultimatum.

“No perverts but a pair of really gorgeous men,” purred Nuriko.

“Yes, indeed. It still amazes me I’ve managed to find a man as beautiful as I. Why do I need Houki when I’ve got you, my lovely buttercup?”

Hotohori and Nuriko snuggled in their bed as they made little cooing noises.

Miaka grimaced. “Somehow, I’m not that surprised with this scene.”

Nuriko looked up at the beautiful Emperor with dewy sparkly eyes.

“Oh Hotohori sama! I love you!”

“And I you!”

They fell on each other ravenously as Miaka tried not to gag. She slammed the door closed.

“Okay…this is really getting on my nerves…what kind of dream is this? I just bet those people in the International Miaka Torture Chamber are behind this!”

Maniacal laughter could be heard in the distance.

Suzaku no Miko stomped to the next door and opened it.

“All right! I’m ready for anything you can throw at me!”

The same room. The same setting. But with some major differences. Miaka’s eyes bugged as she surveyed the armaments of S&M instruments hanging on the walls.

“Who would be sick and sadistic enough to use these things…”

She felt something soft brushing against her face. She whirled around and came face to face with Tomo and Suboshi.

“Ack! I should have known! It’s the cackling pervert and the bloodthirsty yo-yo boy!!! Only they would be sick enough to use this stuff!!!”

Tomo cackled chillingly while Suboshi whirled his Yo-Yo of Death™.

“You got that right, Suzaku no Miko!” Suboshi cackled along with Tomo.

Miaka tried to block out the terrible sound. “Suboshi! I thought you were in love with Yui chan!”

“That frigid bitch? Are you kidding? Now Tomo here can really pack a punch. Rough and bloody, just the way I like it!”

“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty, Suboshi! Tamahome can have that smirking jerk. You’re the one for me!”

The two mentally disturbed Seiryuu Seishis pulled out their respective weapons, yo yo and sharp feathers, and went at it with a vengeance.

Miaka ran for the door like her life depended on it and got the hell out of there. She leaned against the closed door weakly and panted desperately for air.

“That…had…to…be…the…most…disturbing…thing…I’ve…ever…seen…”

She lifted her head and stared at the next door. Did she want to open that door? There had to be a way out of this nightmare without having to go through this gauntlet of terror…not to mention disgust. With a sigh, Miaka pushed herself off the door and approached her next obstacle.

“Here goes nothing!”

She pushed the door open and immediately saw the two boys on the bed.

“Heero…you know I feel nothing for Hilde…you’re the one I want.”

“Really, Duo? You really mean that?”

“I swear on Shinigami’s honour.”

“Duo…I love you. Oh Gods that was so hard to say.”

Duo looked at Heero with love shining brightly in his eyes.

“Heero!”

“Duo!”

They were interrupted by a cough. The two Gundam Wing pilots finally noticed Miaka and stared at her questioningly.

“Excuse me? Who are you people? This is a Fushigi Yuugi fanfic. You’re in the wrong place.”

Duo whipped out the script from who-knows-where (not from a pocket that’s for sure, he’d need clothes for that), and scanned the pages.

“Kuso! Wufei was supposed to interrupt us! Not Suzaku no Miko! Let’s get out of here, Heero!”

The two boys jumped out of bed, giving Miaka a nosebleed, and entered their respective Gundams. Shinigami pulled out his Thermal Scythe and sliced a giant hole in the ceiling and they both flew away.

Miaka shook her head ruefully as she exited the room.

“That was just confusing.”

She marched to the next door and opened it, not knowing what to expect. A cheerful voice greeted her.

“Welcome, Miaka! We’ve been waiting for you.”

Chiriko stood before her, dressed in a white toga.

“Oh, Chiriko! I’m so glad to see you!”

A poof of smoke and Chichiri appeared beside Miaka.

“I’m here too, no da!”

“Oh, Chichiri! Chiriko! I’ve been through such horrible things! Please help me!”

The two Suzaku Seishis hugged Miaka and comforted her.

“Poor Miaka…it must have been such a trial for you. Well, it ends here, no da!”

A grateful smile shone on Miaka’s face. “You really mean that?”

“Of course, Miaka chan!” said Chiriko. “Would we ever lie to you?”

“Follow us, Miaka. We’ll take you away from this nightmare, no da.”

Miaka followed them into another room, furnished luxuriously with white marble and gold furniture. The scent of olives and grapes overpowered Miaka.

“Wow! This is like a Roman Palace!”

“It is, Miaka chan. Would you like to meet the master of the house?”

She nodded her assent to Chiriko. He led her to the giant bed in the center of the room. He parted the gold curtains.

“This is our master, Mitsukake!”

“Huh?”

Mitsukake wore a white toga and lounged like a king against the plump pillows. Amiboshi stood beside the bed, playing his flute. Chichiri went to a small table and brought a tray full of luscious purple grapes. He delicately plucked each ball and fed it to Mitsukake. Chiriko left Miaka’s side and started to massage Mitsukake’s feet.

Miaka was rooted to the spot with shock. “What is going on here?”

Mitsukake burped and Chichiri wiped his mouth with a silk handkerchief. The master of the house smiled widely, and gave Miaka a surreptitious glance.

“Surprised, Miaka? I supposed you would be since I’m such an insignificant character and I’m continually abused for my healing skills. I save all the Seishis’ asses but what do I get? Nothing! No gratitude! Not a word of thank you! I’m not putting up with that anymore!”

He pulled Amiboshi into his lap and gave him a big squeeze. Flute Boy giggled ecstatically.

“I’m living the life now, Suzaku no Miko! I own this house, I have slaves to serve my needs, mentally and physically. Special emphasize on physically.”

He then pulled Chichiri on to the bed and then used Chiriko as a footstool. The blue haired monk kissed Mitsukake’s cheek and started to unbutton his shirt.

“Ack! Chichiri! What are you doing?!”

Chichiri turned a puzzled expression to Miaka.

“What do you think I am doing, no da? I’m going to pleasure my master, na no da.”

Amiboshi stopped giggling like a silly school girl and started to lick Mitsukake’s other cheek. He paused long enough to give Miaka a look over and whisper something in Mitsukake’s ear. The master of the house laughed obnoxiously.

“You’re so right, Amiboshi dear. I don’t know what Tamahome saw in her. She’s such a scrawny, klutzy, little thing. I’m sure he’s much happier with Nakago.”

Chichiri and Chiriko nodded their agreement.

Miaka turned her teary hurt eyes to Mitsukake. “How can you be so cruel, Mitsukake? What happened to you? Don’t you think Shouka would be disappointed in you?” Then she turned her hurt look to Chiriko. “And you lied to me. You said you’d take me away from this nightmare.”

Chiriko looked up from his position as a footstool. “But I didn’t lie, Miaka. How can you compare this haven to those hovels that they other Seishis occupy? Serving Mitsukake is a pleasure, much better than running around Konan trying to call Suzaku.”

“That’s right, no da. I can’t imagine myself doing anything better.”

Amiboshi smiled slyly at Miaka. “Join us, Miaka. It’s bliss.”

With a look of pure disgust, she turned away from the mindless slaves and their master. Miaka walked determinedly to the door and slammed it close.

The unfortunate Miko shook with rage. Suddenly, she shrieked and pointed at the sky.

“I DON’T KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THIS SICK OPERATION, BUT I’VE HAD IT!!! NO MORE!!! I GOT THROUGH TAMAHOME AND NAKAGO, EVEN SUBOSHI AND TOMO, BUT THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. WHAT I JUST SAW WASN’T SICK!! OH NO!! IT WAS JUST WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!”

Then Miaka went totally loco and started acting very irrationally. While ripping out her hair from frustration, she had a crazy idea. Not very surprising since it’s coming from Miaka.

“When was the last time I was trapped in a place where there seemed to be no exit?. The mirror test that Taiitsu-kun put me through! Yes! Yes! I’ll just stab myself with a plate shrapnel! Yes! Yes! I’ll kill myself and I’ll get out of here!!”

Chants of “Die Piggy, Die” echoed through the air.

Miaka looked around for a plate to smash. With a poof of smoke, one conveniently appeared.

“Aha! Here’s one!”

Miaka grabbed the plate and smashed it against the wall.

“This better work. I can’t stand anymore of this perverse dream!”

The plate shrapnel struck true and deep. Soon, Miaka was bleeding and dying on the floor.

“Ooh…this hurts so much…”

Her vision blurred and wavered. The white walls faded and darkness took over…

Miaka slowly opened her eyes.

She was no longer in a white hallway but in her room in the palace.

Jerking up from her bed, she frantically checked her chest. Not a drop of blood marred the snow white nightdress. Her hands met solid and familiar objects in her room, each touch bringing a rush of relief.

Miaka screamed with happiness.

“Yes! It worked! I am out of that terrible nightmare! Suzaku no Miko comes out on top again!”

Cursing and grumbling could be heard in the distance.

“I have to go find Tamahome. My Tamahome! Not Nakago’s!”

She scrambled out of bed, tripped, righted herself, and ran all the way to Tamahome’s room. Pure joy was written on her face as she flung the door open.

“Tamahome! Oh, I had the most awful dream! But it’s all okay now that we’re together!”

Then she finally noticed what Tamahome was doing…with Tasuki. Tamahome was lying stomach down on the bed. Tasuki was on all fours leaning over him.

Miaka’s face contorted. “What…what are you two doing?”

Tasuki turned to Miaka with a cheerful expression. “Hey Miaka, what’s up?”

Upper lip twitching, her eyes shifted from Tamahome to Tasuki.

“No…this can’t be happening…I’m awake. I’m not in that appalling dream anymore. NO! NO!!!!”

With a bloodcurdling scream, Miaka ran out of the room. After much running, she ended up by the lake where she tried to drown herself previously.

“Okay. Let’s try this again. Maybe stabbing myself in the chest didn’t work but drowning might.”

Shouting a final farewell to her friends, she flung herself into the cold wet depth. This time, there was no Hotohori to save her from a watery death.

Back in Tamahome’s room…

Tamahome looked up at Tasuki questioningly.

“What just happened?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care. Right now, I don’t have the patience to put up with Miaka’s quirks. Now hold still, damn you!! Just how the hell do you sleep anyway? Getting your braid stuck between the bed springs! You f***in’ idiot!!”

“I was trying to hide my money and it got caught! Just help me, okay? Ow! Stop pulling so roughly, you second rate bandit!”

“Second rate?!?! Why you bastard!!! Rekka Shinen!!!”

They continued their fight, totally oblivious of Miaka’s plight.

This was the end of Suzaku no Miko.

Maniacal laughter reverberated through the air.
 
 

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