Signs You've Been Online Too Long:

Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."

When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your response.

You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's nothing there.

You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.

You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."

You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl" face-to-face.

You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.

You have met over 100 onliners.

When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"

You find yourself sneaking away to the puter in the night when your spouse is asleep.

You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're online again.

You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.

You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they complain that your phone was   busy you claim it was "off the hook."

You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth.

You change your screen name so much that you have to do a who is to know who you are.

You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.

You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.

Your dog leaves you.

You type faster than you can think.

You don't want to leave in case you miss something.