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Did you hear about the Irish Kamikaze pilot?
He's on his 15th mission.
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What about the Irish woodworm?
Found dead in a brick!
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Did you hear about the latest Irish inventions?
A solar powered torch and a helicopter ejection seat!
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What about the Irish man who though Polyfiller was parot food?
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How do you confuse an Irish man?
Put him in a barrel and tell him to piss in the corner.
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How do you confuse an Irish labourer?
Put three shovels up against the wall and tell him to take his pick.
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Why did the Irish get potatoes and the Arabs get the oil?
Because the Irish got first choice.
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What do you call an Irishman with half a brain?
Gifted.
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What's got an IQ of 200?
Ireland!
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Paddy turns to Mick and says, "Mick, do you know you only actually use
one third of your brain?". Mick says, "Well what do you do with the other
half?"
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Paddy says to Mick, "I've got some bottles of Guinness in my bag, if you
can guess how many are in there you can have them both".
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How do you burn an Irish mans ear?
You call him up when he's doing the ironing.
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Why did the Irish man buy a black and white dog?
Because he thought the license would be cheaper.
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How do you get an Irish man on the roof?
Tell him that drinks are on the house.
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