The Ghost
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper,
but no shit in the bowl.
Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it.
No traces of shit on the toilet paper. you have to look in the toilet bowl to be
sure you did it!
Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12
times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the
toilet.
Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand
up when you realize it.....you've got some more.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It
doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so
hard.
Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it
has its head out before you get your pants down.
The King Kong / The Commode Choker
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the
toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This
kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.
Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash
that gets your ass wet.
Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no
shit!
Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.
The Snake
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your
thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork Shit / Floater Shit
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there.
My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's
house.
Mexican Food Shit / Screamers
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole
stops burning.
Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your
shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody
standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at
someone else's house.
The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly
goes back in
The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
The Ring of Fire
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your
asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so
long your legs go numb from the waist down.
The Crippler #2
You've shit so much you're lucky if you still have a skeleton.
Ebola Shit
In lamen's terms, Ebola is a disease where you basically crap out all of your inards.
The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush
it always floats back to the surface.
The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your
car in a traffic jam.
The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and
mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.
The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it
pushes its way out.
The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the
toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the
toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American
town.
Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a
second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters
all over the toilet bowl.
The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you
no longer need to take a shit.
Oh Shit! Shit
The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea,
and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more
shit runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.
