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"The Sam I Am" by Weird Alan [oh yeah, i recently found out weird al did a parody of u2's numb called sam i am in some concert once, but i swear i had this idea for a long time with no knowldge of that fact and I think this is my best parody so far hehe, oh yeah this song is about the time sam doesnt want the green eggs and ham and its not about the story itself so dont expect him to say nice stuff about green eggs and ham towards the end hehe]
whatever
son, just put those green eggs and ham down
aiyyo, for breakfast i'd prefer a little grits
aiyyo, this song is how about I don't like, fuck it
Just shut up and listen, aiyyo...
I decide to just sit back, read my newspaper and relax
and this guy comes up to me and offers shit for me to eat
the most disgusting food on this earth
and no matter where I go i'd rather eat liverwurst
and this guy thinks like constantly telling me to try it will work
I understand he's trying to help me relieve
all the tension I've had from bad breakfasts
getting something good to finally eat so I can have a good rest
And i want to eat something that's real tasty (real tasty)
but at least have the decency in you
to not offer green eggs and ham when you see me out
when I'm in my house eating my mouse
to not come and speak to me (speak to me)
no I don't want food from you
and no I don't wont to eat a Mo-ther-fuck-ing thing
I'm not mister eat anything, I'm not what your cooks think
I'm not mister tasty, I can be a food critic
when it comes to green eggs there will never be enough pateince within me (with in me)
and if you again ask me to eat that crap, I'm throwing those eggs 10 feet (10 feet)... in the air
I don't care about eating it anywhere and I still wouldn't take it from you
bribe me to try some, offer to give me loot
I still wouldn't want them and I'd rather eap some chop suey
I'm tired of you offering that crap to me (crap to me)
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me
and I am a person who's name is sam
no I do not eat green eggs and ham
on a boat, a train, I don't eat that man
I wouldn't even eat it with jam
cause I am a person who's name is sam
no I do not eat green eggs and ham
on a boat, a train, I don't eat that man
I dunno, I guess it's just cause it's Sam I am
sometimes I feel like I'd rather not this here or there I just hate to be bothered
and this guy offering me this crap is constant
and "oh, maybe if you eat them in a box or with a fox you will like them"
the green eggs and the ham look so rotten (so rotten)
and this guy still won't let me be
it seems like he immediately points his finger and offers the food to me (food to me)
so I point one back at him and tell me I'd prefer my bacon and cheese
or the banana pancakes, the ones that taste good with syrup
when it comes to green eggs and ham i just don't give a fuck and just won't put up
with the encouargaing tactics that the guy who offers the food's going to do
when I finally do try some and I throw up my food
he'll blame it on my medicine (medicine)... and my nutrition
where does he think i'll eat that stuff at? and look where he's now
near a goat, like that's really going to get me to eat
now it's sad to have this guy following me
havin this happenin (happenin')...
then attack Sam I am cause I won't try new things (try new things)
and I'm not glad cause I'd prefer if they feed some gruel that I'd need for nutrients like Iron
I don't want bad food that will make my heart burn and be burnin when my stomach has churned
and I am a person who's name is sam
no I do not eat green eggs and ham
on a boat, a train, I don't eat that man
I wouldn't even eat it with jam
cause I am a person who's name is sam
no I do not eat green eggs and ham
on a boat, a train, I don't eat that man
I dunno, I guess it's just cause it's Sam I am
I'm so sick and tired of being asked to please try some
I wish I could just convince the guy to be quiet
why does Doctor Suess have to put me in is story's label
He'll never be able to top "The Cat In The Hat"
And all of a sudden my story has turned into some toddler sensation
that has got my book recommended by PBS stations
And I just do not got the patieence (patience)
to deal with those cocky adolescents who think
I'm not as cute as The Cat In the Hat cause I talk
with an attitude, while this guy has the balls to keep offering me the green eggs and ham and keep asking
the same fuckin questions (questions)
would you try it in the dark or in the rain
would you please try some with the who what, where, and the how
until the guy makes me annoyed and I tell him to get out
but the guy still tries to convince me to eat it
and I'm thankful for ev-ery food offer I get
But I can't take A SHIT in the bathroom
without that guy standing by it
No I won't eat your green eggs and ham
you can call me an asshole I'm glad
cause I am a person who's name is sam
no I do not eat green eggs and ham
on a boat, a train, I don't eat that man
I wouldn't even eat it with jam
cause I am a person who's name is sam
no I do not eat green eggs and ham
on a boat, a train, I don't eat that man
I dunno, I guess it's just cause it's Sam I am