My Journal/Ramblings
Hey there, welcome to my journal page. This is where I'll keep you updated on whats going on in my life and my perspective, etc. I won't be updating it a whole lot though.
-March 2, 2003
Hey there everyone, this is my first entry! WOOHOO! Well its the 3 rd marking period in school, and I am feeling really stressed out. I have about 4 major projects piling up in front of me that need to be done sooner or later. Along with schoolwork I have swim team every night and the Elysium coffeehouse this week! I've been waiting forever for this Coffeehouse, I wonder if they serve hot chocolate? Well it should be fun to hang out all night this Friday at the Coffeehouse and feel what its like to be behing the scenes of it all and everything. I dont know but supposedly I am sposed to be a bouncer at some point, haha, should serve as interesting. Well lets see, I do have a rambling that I wanna get off my chest, so here it goes.
Ok, on precisely the 17th of February, my rabbit, Velvet died. I was really upset for aa few days and I really didn't want to be bothered. And I understand that people want to help you to be happy again, but sometimes it can be SO annoying. I mean, I understand, you wanna help your friend get over their loss and make them better again, and theres nothing you can really do. And I think I might try and help my friends the same way if they were really depressed, but idk, theres just something that really bothered me about it. Like I did not tell one of my friends, and that night when we were talking, he made me feel a lot better because he wasn't trying to be all sweet and sappy and consoling. He wasn't trying so hard to be someone completely different, it was just him and his humor. So maybe from now on, I won't tell anyone that theres been a death in my life and amybe they'll quit trying to be someone else and actually make me smile. Oh, and Velvet was the best damn rabbit there was. . .ever.
March 5, 2003
Another complaint. Ok so today was a day where natiowide, those who opposed war go out to the flagpole in a walk-out/protest. Infortunately, though I strongly believe in anti-war, I let my need for perfection come first, and I stayed inside. The few minutes that I stayed out there, the stupid masses were making fun of us and throwing snowballs! (the ones that threw snowballs were suspended) They were saying what "fags" we were and I had the chance to use my wit against them. So this one kid was like "eww why are those losers out there?" and i was like-- What the hell is that matter with what they are doing, they are out there expressing their right to freedom of speech! And he was all like "well they're stupid anyway" And it just bothered me so much that some people were all pro-war and they were telling us to shut up so only they could express their views. Most of these people were the stpid masses of our school, they say bomb all the people that have dark skin, ok can we say prejudice? They really are stupid because they have no idea whats going on in the Middle East and they are suggesting we kill them all, like it will solve everything! For one thing, they make it out to be so easy, go over there, kill Saddam and come home, well its not that easy. Though a majourity of the people hate him, he does have followers and he has struck so many people with fear they would easily follow. And then there would be the object of what to do after he is assasinated, would we take over? Hmm, doesnt that sound like we're going over there jsut to take over. . .sure does to me! LEAVE IT ALONE PEOPLE!!! So todays lesson is, EDUCATE THE STUPID MASSES AND MAKE LOVE NOT WAR!
March 8, 2003
So its the day after the Coffeehouse, and I'd say it went very well. It was a super long day for me though- 8:15 AM until 11:15 PM. Thats how long I stayed in school for. I ended up getting dropped off 45 minutes early because of the stupid 2-hour delay and I had to carry ice cream around the school for 45 minutes, looking for a freezer! The day was pretty boring, we actually did work in all of my classes. I was all excited for the Coffeehouse, that was all I cared about! So 8th period roled around, and we did our little Peach Melba presentation and stuff, and we ate food all period long blah blah blah and then it was over and the real adventure began! Ok so after 8th period the Elysium crew went to the library to set up, after 3 grueling hours, we were short on lights and there was a big pole in the middle of the stage that couldnt be moved. Ryan and I had to vross a snow mound to get a pizza and the doors were open in the asbestos wing so we'll die in about a day or 2. When we got back with the pizza, more people showed up so we had to share with them, grr. We eventually got more lights and it was all good. People started coming, I had to watch food for 30 minutes with Jeff, my good friends came, and pretty soon the place was PACKED!! I was a bouncer for a little while and eventually I ended up behind the library counter on a swivel chair with a few friends. Oh! Get this, I think Samosa got mad at me! He didn't talk to me all night long!! But then again, his better friends were there, so whatever--I dont mind all that much. OH OH!! And at the end, I was standing alone at the food table, and he was standing with his friends, not really talking. So he starts walking over towards me, and he nearly bumps into me, and you'd expect he'd say hi or something but nope. . .nothing. He just walked past me, idk, but it was just kinda funny! Umm, lets see, the bands were really good, and I'd say that it was an AWESOME night overall!
April 4, 2003 Hi All,
Well my life is still busy to say the least. I've finished a good majourity of my projects, but I still have a few to do. Also, tonight I have NYSSMA, pretty freaked out about it! Well lets see, another rambling? Sure, here goes something! Ok, so I dont have the best social skills to say the least. I am such an idiot sometimes. Its not that Im afraid of anyone, its just that I can never find anything to talk about--except the same old boring things. And I'm finding that I have a fear of moments of silence. Well maybe not a fear, but they kinda upset me. A while ago I used to feel like there was so much to tlak about, but then I realized whatever I was saying and no one would care about it. Hell, I still talk about stupid things now too. . . Now Im finding that whenever Im talking to someone, I never have any good convos. . .there are a lot of gaps and silences and I dont feel like making conversation for fear of sounding stupid. Which is another thing I do often. I need help developing social skills! Any hints?
