What’s the first law you’d pass?
Mark: It would have to be that bands can’t mime at any gig. If you don’t sing live, then you can’t set foot on that stage, apart from certain TV shows where you have to mime. And no bands would be allowed to dress in the same outfits either.
Ste: Yeah! And everyone would have to learn to play a musical instrument from the age of ten. You’d get to choose one and then have to play it for five years at school.
What’s the first thing you’d ban?
Mark: (Laughing heartily) Ugly boybands. If they could sing though, they’d be okay. But I’m not against manufactured bands.
Who would you banish?
Mark: Christina Aguilera, because she’s a cow! We did a summer special with her and she was really up herself, I didn’t like her at all. (Thinking) Some people in the industry who didn’t support us when we started, but only temporarily, ‘cos now it’s all okay.
Where would you live?
Mark: There are loads of beautiful places in the world but my friends and family are in Manchester. Plus there’s no place like home. My second choices would be Hollywood or Miami. I’d have a very big house, David Beckham-style, and live in it with all my mates.
Ste: I’d rather live in New York. I’d have a penthouse overlooking Central Park with a grand piano and share it with whoever I was going out with at the time.
Who would be your queen?
Mark: It would have to be Salma
Hayek — she’s really beautiful.
Ste: Yeah, Salma Hayek, or
Denise Richards from the last
Bond movie.
How would you bring about global harmony?
Mark: I could just sing to everyone! Apart from that I’d definitely ban nuclear weapons and I’d search everyone’s house for sharp knives and take away any that I found.
Ste: With music — it’s a universal language. Everyone should sing songs like Give Peace A Chance.
What would your ten commandments be?
Mark: For starters there would be no drinking and driving and I’d ban all weapons. Everyone should give a pound each week to Third World countries, change their underpants everyday and own a BBMak album. Ste All bands must play and sing live all the time. Everyone should watch EastEnders, Emmerdale and Corrie, cos Britain has got the best telly in the world. Everyone should eat beans on toast for dinner once a week, clubs should be open ‘til six in the morning and there should be a café on every street corner for coffee and a fry up in the mornings!
And who would you give all the top jobs to?
Mark: I reckon my mum would be a good Prime Minister — she’s really hard working and very caring. My
brother Daniel could be her deputy ‘cos he would have to take orders from my mum! I’d be the head of the army ‘cos I’m solid — I used to do a bitof boxing. Britney Spears and Janet Jackson would be my princesses, oh, and Madonna of course. And I think Lee Evans would be my court jester, ‘cos he’s a very funny bloke!
Ste No, I think Jack Dee would make a really good Prime Minister. Craig from Big Brother would be the Mayor. Liam Gallagher would be head of the army, ‘cos he talks a good fight. And Louise Redknapp would be my princess ‘cos she’s really pretty.
Would you get rid of money?
Mark: Yeah, I’d probably change money to BBMak flyers, which
tell people when the singles and the album and stuff are out. Everyone would know whai we’re up to, so, there’d be no excuses for missing anything!
Hahaha!
Ste: Instead of money, I’d make people use nail clippings. The bigger they were, the more they’d be worth, so you’d have to grow them really long and then cut them to get rich.
