The Naming of Cats

The naming of cats is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your holiday games
You think at first, I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat, must have 3 different names

First of all there's the name that the family use daily
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Baily
All of them sensible, everyday names

There are fancier names, in you think they sound sweeter
Some for the Gentlemen, some for the Dames
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter
But all of them sensible, everyday names

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particualr
A name that's peculiar and more dignefied
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular
And spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride

Or names of this kind, I can give you a quorum
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat
Such as Bombalurina, or else, Jellylorum
Names that never belong to more than one cat

But abouve and beyond, there's still one name left over
And that is the name you never will guess
the name no human research can discover
And that cat himself knows, and will never confess

If you notice a cat, in profound meditation,
the reason I tell you is always the same
His mind is engaged in a rapt compenplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name
Hie eneffable, eneffable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutalble singular
Name, name, name....