The Music Man

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76 Trombones Til There Was You Gary, Indiana Shipoopi Goodnight, My Someone It's You Pick-a-little, Talk-a-little/Goodnight Ladies My White Knight The Wells Fargo Wagon

Rock Island

Cash for the merchendise
Cash for the button hooks
Cash for the cotton goods
Cash for the hard goods
Cash for the soft goods
Cash for the fancy goods
Cash for the noggins and the piggins and the firkins
Cash for the hogshead, cask, and demijohn
Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper
Look, whadyatalk? whadyatalk? whadayatalk? whadayatalk?
wheredyagetit? whadyatalk?
You can talk, you can talk, you can bicker, you can
talk, you can bicker,bicker, bicker, you can talk,
you can talk, you can talk, talk, talk,
talk, bicker bicker bicker, you can talk all ya
wanna but it's different than it was!
No it ain't, no it ain't, but you gotta know the
territory!
Sh!Sh!Sh!Sh!Sh!Sh!Sh!
Why it's the Model T Ford made the trouble, made the
people wanna go, wanna get, wanna get, wanna get
up and go, seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve,
fourteen, twenty-two, twenty three miles to the county seat!
Yes sir, Yes sir,
Who's gonna patronize a little bitty two-by-four
kinda store anymore?
whadyatalk, whadyatalk, wheredyagetit?
Not the Model T at all, take a gander at the store,
at the mod-ren store, at the present day
store, at the present day mod-ren departmentalized grocery store.
whadyatalk, whadyatalk, whadyatalk, whadyatalk,
whadyatalk, wheredyagetit,whadyatalk, whadyatalk,
wheredyagetit?
You can talk, you can bicker, you can talk, you can
bicker, you can talk, talk, talk, talk, bicker,
bicker, bicker, you can talk all ya wanna but it's
different than it was!
No it ain't but ya gotta know the territory!
Why it's the Uneeda biscuit made the trouble, Uneeda
Uneeda, put the crackers in a package, in a
package, the Uneeda buscuit in an airtight
sanitary package, made the cracker barrel
obsolete, obsolete Obsolete! Obsolete!
Cracker barrel went out the window with the mail
pouch, cut plug, chawin by the stove. Changed the
approach of a traveling salesman, made it pretty hard.
No it didn't, no it didn't but you gotta know the
territory.
Gone, gone
Gone with the hogshead, cask, and demijohn,
Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan
Gone with the tub and the pail and the tierce.
Ever meet a feller by the name a' Hill
Hill?
Hill?
Hill?
Hill?
Hill?
Hill?
Hill?
Hill!
No!
Just a minute, just a minute
Never heard of any salesman Hill
Now he doesn't know the territory
Doesn't know the territory?
What's the fella's line?
Never worries bout his line!
Never worries bout his line?!
Or the cracker barrel being obsolete
Or the Uneeda biscuit in the airtight sanitary
package or the Model T Ford
Just a minute, just a minute, just a minute
Never worries bout his line?
Or a doggone thing, he's just a bang beat
Bell ringing, big haul great-
go, neck-or-nothing, rip-roarin
Ever-time a bull's eye salesman, that's
Proffesor Harold Hill, Harold Hill
Tell us, what's his line? what's his line?
He's a fake and he doesn't know the territory!
Look, whadyatalk? whadyatalk? whadyatalk? whadyatalk?
He's a music man
He's a what? He's a what??
He's a music man and he sells clarinets to the kids
in the town with the big trombones and the
rat-a-tat drums, and the big brass bass, big brass bass,
and the picallo, the picallo, uniforms too,
with the shiny gold braid, and the coat,
and the big red stripe runnin'
Well I don't know much about bands but I do know you
can't make a living selling big trombones
No sir!
Mandolin picks, perhaps, and here and there a jew's
harp
No, the fella sells bands! Boy's bands! I don't know
how he does it, but he lives like a king
and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he
shines, and when the man dances, certainly boys,
what else?
The piper pays him. Yes sir! Yes sir! Yes sir!
Yes sir! When the man dances, certainly boys? What else? The
piper pays him, Yes sir! Yes sir!
But he doesn't know the territory!

Iowa Stubborn

Oh, there's nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all.
There's an Iowa kind of special
Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude.
We've never been without.
That we recall.
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But what the heck, you're welcome,
Join us at the picnic.
You can have your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try.
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But we'll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crop should happen to die!
So, what the heck, you're welcome,
Glad to have you with us.
Even though we may not ever mention it again.
You really ought to give Iowa
Hawkeye Iowa
Dubuque, Des Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,
Mason City, Keokuk, Ames, Clear Lake
Ought to give Iowa a try!

Trouble

Either you're closing your eyes to
a situation you do not wish to
acknowledge, or you are not aware of the
calibur of disaster indicated by the
presence of a pool table in your community
Well, Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why sure I'm a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
With a cool head and a keen eye.
Ever take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-reail billiard shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains,
and maturity to score
In a balkline game,
I say that any boob can take
And shove a ball in a pocket.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of degrada--
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.
An' the next thing ya know,
Your son is playin' for money
In a pinch-back suit.
And list'nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
Hearin' him tell about horse-race gamblin'.
Not a wholesome trottin' race, no!
But a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey'boy
Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six
pockets in a table.
Pockets that mark the diff'rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital "B,"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
And all week long your River City
Youth'll be frittern away,
I say your young men'll be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime,
choretime too!
Get the ball in the pocket,
Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind pumpin' any water
'Til your parents are caught with the cistern
empty On a Saturday night and that's trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the pool
Hall window after school, look, folks!
Right here in River City.
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around that Hall?
They're tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs,
Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends!
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath
with Sen-Sen.
One fine night, they leave the pool hall,
Headin' for the dance at the Armory!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Ragtime, shameless music
That'll grab your son, your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct,
Masstaria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool,
That stands for pool.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in River City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones moral after school!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of River City!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib? Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
Billy's Whiz Bang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'swell?"
And 'so's your old man?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in River city!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in River City!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
Oh, we've got trouble.
We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a
devil's tool!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"!
And that stands for Pool!!!
That stands for pool!

The Piano Lesson

Marion=M Mama=A
M: Mama, a man with a suitcase followed me home
A: Oh, Who?
M: I never saw him before
A: Did he say anything?
M: He tried
A: Did you say anything?
M: Mama, Of course not
Don't dawdle Amaryliss
So Do La Re Ti Me A little slower and please
keep the fingers curved as nice and high as you
possibly can, don't get faster dear.
A: If you don't mind me saying so it wouldn't have
hurt to found out what the gentleman wanted
M: I know what the gentleman wanted
A: What, dear?
M: You'll find it in Balzac
A: Excuse me for living, but I never read it.
M: Neither has anyone else in this town
A: There you go again with the same old comment
about the low mentality of River City people and
taking it all too much to heart
M: Now Mama, as long as the Madison Public Library
was entrusted to me for the purpose of improving River
City's cultural level, I can't help my
concern that the ladies of River City keep
ignoring all my council and advice.
A: But darling, when a woman has a husband and you've
got none, why should she take advice from you,
even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare and
all them other hi-falutin Greeks.
M:If you don't mind me saying so you have a bad habit
of changing every subject
A: No I haven't changed the subject, I was talking
about that stranger
M: What stranger?
A: With the suitcase! Who may be your very last chance.
M: Mama, do you think that I'd allow a common masher,
now really Mama, I have my standards where
men are concerned, and I have no intention
A: I know all about your standards and if you don't
mind me saying so there's not a man alive who
could hope to measure up to that blend of Paul
Bunyan, Saint Pat, and Noah Webster you've
concocted for yourself, out of your Irish
imagination, your Iowa stubborness, and your
library fulla' books!

Sincere

How can there be any sin in sincere
Where is the good in goodbye?
Your apprehensions confuse me dear
Puzzle and mystify, mystify
Tell me what can be fair in farewell, dear
While one single star shines above
How can there be any sin in sincere?
Aren't we sincerely in love?
Oh, we're in love!

The Sadder but Wiser Girl for Me

Harold:
No wide-eyed, eager,
Wholesome innocent Sunday school teacher for me.
That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever
Listen, boy
A girl who trades on all that purity
Merely wants to trade my independence for her security.
The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the aisle.
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess
No sir!
For no Diana do I play fawn.
I can tell you that right now.
I snarl, I hiss: How can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz for the lady who knows what time it is.
I cheer, I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me.
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby Not for me.
That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew.
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance.
No dewy young miss
Who keeps resisting all the time she keeps insisting.
No wide-eyed, wholesome innocent female. No sir.
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish you see?..PLOP!
I flinch, I shy, when the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in.
I hope, and I pray, for a Hester to win just one more "A"
The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me.
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me.

Marion the Librarian

Madam Librarian
What can I do, my dear, to catch your ear
I love you madly, madly Madam Librarian...Marian
Heaven help us if the library caught on fire
And the Volunteer Hose Brigademen
Had to whisper the news to Marian...Madam Librarian!
What can I say, my dear, to make it clear
I need you badly, badly, Madam Librarian...Marian
If I stumbled and I busted my what-you-may-call-it
I could lie on your floor
'Till my body had turned to carrion....Madam Librarian.
Now in the moonlight, a man could sing it
In the moonlight And a fellow would know that his darling
Had heard ev'ry word of his song
With the moonlight helping along.
But when I try in here to tell you, dear
I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian...Marian
It's a long lost cause I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian.....Madam Librarian.

Lida Rose/Will I Ever Tell You

Quartet:
Lida Rose, I'm home again, Rose
To get the sun back in the sky
Lida Rose, I'm home again, Rose
About a thousand kisses shy
Ding, dong, ding
I can hear the chapel bells chime
Ding, dong, ding
At the least suggestion I'll pop the question
Lida Rose, I'm home again, Rose
Without a sweetheart to my name
Lida Rose, Now everyone knows
That I am hoping you're the same
So here is my love song
Not fancy or fine
Lida Rose, Oh won't you be mind
Lida Rose, oh, Lida Rose, oh Lida Rose

Marion:
Dream of now
Dream of then
Dream of a love song
That might have been
Do I love you?
Ah, yes I love you
And I'll bravely tell you
But only when we dream again
Sweet and low
Sweet and low
How sweet that memory
How long ago
Forever, oh yes forever
Will I ever tell you?
Ah...no..

(Sung again, this time simultaneously)

76 Trombones

May I have your attention, please?
Attention, please?
I can deal with your trouble friends
With the wave of my hand, this very hand
Please observe me if you will
I'm Proffesor Harold Hill
And I'm here to organize a
River City boys band 'Brrrrittt'
Oh, think my friends how could any pool table
Ever hope to compete with a gold trombone?
Ra-da-ra-da-da-da-da-ra-ra
Remember my friends what a handful of trumpet players
Did to the famous fabled walls of Jericho
Oh, billiard parlor walls come a tumblin' down
Well a band will do it my friends oh, yes I say
A boys band do you hear me
I said River City's gotta have a boy's band and
I mean she needs it today
Well Proffesor Harold Hill's on hand
River City's gonna have her boy's band
As sure as the Lord made little green apples
And that band's gonna be in uniform-
Johnny! Willy! Teddy! Fred!
And you'll see the glitter of crashing cymbals
And you'll hear the thunder of rolling drums
And the shimmer of trumpets!
Tantara!
And you'll feel something akin to the electric
thrill I once enjoyed when Gillmore, Liberatti, Pat
Conway, The Great Creator, and W.C. Hamdy, and
John Phillip Sousa all came to town on the very
same historic day!

Seventy-six trombones led the big parade
With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows of the finest
virtuosos, the cream of every famous band.

Seventy-six trombones caught the morning sun
With a hundred and ten cornets right behind
There were more than a thousand reeds
Springing up like weeds
There were horns of every shape and kind.

There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons
Thundering, thundering all along the way.
Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,
Each bassoon having it's big, fat say!

There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery
Thundering, thundering louder than before
Clarinets of every size
And trumpeters who'd improvise
A full octave higher than the score!

Till There Was You

There were bells on the hill
But I never heard them ringing,
No, I never heard them at all
Till there was you.

There were birds in the sky
But I never saw them winging
No, I never saw them at all
Till there was you.

And there was music,
And there were wonderful roses,
They tell me,
In sweet fragrant meadows of dawn, and dew.

There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
Till there was you

Gary, Indiana

Harold:
Gary, Indiana!
Mama: What a wonderful name,
Harold: Named for Elbert Gary of judiciary fame.
Gary, Indiana, as a Shakespeare would say,
Trips along softly on the tongue this way
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
Let me say it once again.
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
That's the town that knew me when.
If you'd like to have a logical explanation
How I happened on this elegant syncopation,
I will say without a moment of hesitation
There is just one place
That can light my face
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
Not Louisiana, Paris, France, New York, or Rome, but
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana,
My home sweet home!

Shipoopi

Well a woman who'll kiss on the
very first date is usually a hussy.
And a woman who'll kiss on the
second time out is anything but fussy.
But a woman who waits til the third time around,
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground!
She's the girl he's glad he's found, she's his
Shi-Poo-Pi! Shi-Poo-Pi! Shi-Poo-Pi! Shi-Poo-Pi!

Boys:
The girl who's hard to get!

Marcellus:
Shi-Poo-Pi!
Shi-Poo-Pi
Shi-Poo-Pi

Girls:
But you can win her yet.

Marcellus:
Walk her once just to raise the curtain,
Walk around twice and you make for certain.
Once more in the flower garden,
She will never get sore
If you beg her pardon.

All:
Do re me fa so la si
Do si la sol fa mi re do

Marcellus:
Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin,
If you get a squeeze back, that's fancy cookin,
Once more for a pepper-upper,
She will never get sore on her way to supper.

All:
Do re me fa sol la si
Do si do

Marcellus:
Shi-Poo-Pi!
Shi-Poo-Pi!
Shi-Poo-Pi!

Boys:
The girl who's hard to get.

Marcellus:
Shi-Poo-Pi!
Shi-Poo-Pi!
Shi-Poo-Pi!

Girls:
But you can win her yet.

All:
Shi-Poo-Pi, Shi-Poo-Pi, Shi-Poo-Pi!
The girl who's hard to get.
Shi-Poo-Pi,
Shi-Poo-Pi, Shi-Poo-Pi, but you can win her yet.
You can win her yet!
Shi-Poo-Pi!

Goodnight My Someone

Goodnight, my someone,
Goodnight, my love,
Sleep tight, my someone,
Sleep tight, my love,
Our star is shining it's brightest light
For goodnight, my love, for goodnight.
Sweet dreams be yours, dear,
If dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight
True love can be whispered from heart to heart
When lovers are parted they say
But I must depend on a wish and a star
As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.
Sweet dreams be yours dear,
If dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight
Goodnight
Goodnight

It's You

It's you in the sunrise, it's you in my cup.
It's you all the way into town.
It's your sweet "Hello, dear" that sets me up
And it's your "Got to go, dear" that gets me down.
It's you on my pillow in all my dreams.
'Til once more the morning breaks through
What words could be saner or truer or plainer
Than it's you, it's you.
Yes, it's you.
Oh, yes it's you.

Pick-a-little Talk-a-little/Goodnight Ladies

Women:
Pick-a-little Talk-a-little
Pick-a-little Talk-a-little
Cheep Cheep Cheep
Talk-a-lot-pick-a-little-more
Pick-a-little Talk-a-little
Pick-a-little Talk-a-little
Cheep Cheep Cheep
Talk-a-lot-pick-a-little-more
Pick-a-little Talk-a-little
Pick-a-little Talk-a-little
Cheep Cheep Cheep
Talk-a-lot-pick-a-little-more
Pick-a-little-talk-a-little
Pick-a-little-talk-a-little
Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep

- Proffesor, her kind of woman doesn't belong on
any committee and of course I shouldn't tell
you this but she advocates dirty books!

H: Dirty books!
- Chausser!
- Rabalais!
- Balzac!
Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep
- And the worst thing, of course I shouldn't tell
you this either,but she
- I'll tell!
- Well the man lived on my street! Let me tell!
- Stop! I'll tell! She made brazen overtures to
a man who never had a friend in this town
until she came here, old miser Madison
H: Miser Madison? Madison Gymnasium? Madison Picnic
Park? Madison Hospital? That miser Madison?
- Exactly, and who did he think he was anyway?
H: Well I should say, showoff. Gave the town the library too didn't he?
- Well that's just it, when he died he left the
library building to the city, but he left all the books to
her. - She was seen going and coming from his place.
- Oh yes, Oh yes

That woman made brazen overtures, with a gilt-edge guarantee
She had a golden glint in her eye and a silver voice
with a counterfeit ring.
Just melt her down and you'll reveal a lump of lead
as cold as steel, here, where a woman's heart should
be.
He left River City the Library building
but he left all the books to her!
Chausser
Rabalais
Balzac
Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep
Just a minute here Proffesor,
now we need your credentials!
Why of course gentlemen, I have just
what you want over at my hotel, please, come with me.
Goodnight ladies. Goodnight ladies

Goodnight ladies, Goodnight ladies
We're going to leave you now
Farewell ladies.....

My White Knight

My white knight,
Not a Lancelot, or an angel with wings
Just someone to love me
Who is not ashamed of a few nice things
My white knight
What my heart would say if it only knew how
Please, dear Venus
Show me now
All I want is a plain man.
All I want is a modest man.
A quiet man, a gentle man
A straightforward and honest man
To sit with me in a cottage somewhere
in the state of Iowa...
And I would like him to be more interested in me
Than he is in himself and more interested in
us than in me...
And if occasionally he'd ponder
What makes Shakespeare and Beethoven great.
Him I could love til I die
Him I could love til I die
My white knight
Not a Lancelot
Nor an angel with wings
Just someone to love me
Who is not ashamed of a few nice things
My white knight
Let me walk with him where the others ride by
Walk and love him
Til I die
Til I die!

The Wells Fargo Wagon

O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-coming down the street,
Oh please let it be for me!
O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-coming down the street,
I wish, I wish I knew what it could be!

Various townspeople:
- I got a box of maple sugar on my birthday.
- In March I got a gray mackinaw.
- And once I got some grapefruit from Tampa.
- Montgomery Ward sent me a bathtub and a cross-cut saw.

O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin' now
Is it a prepaid surprise or C.O.D.?

Various townspeople:
- It could be curtains!
- Or dishes!
- Or a double boiler!

Or it could be
Yes, it could be
Yes, you're right it surely could be
Something special
Something very, very special now
Just for me!
O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-coming down the street.
Oh, don't let him pass my door!
O-ho the Wells Fargo
Wagon is a-coming down the street
I wish I knew what he was coming for.

Various townspeople:
- I got some salmon from Seattle last September.
- And I expect a new rockin' chair.
- I hope I get my raisins from Fresno.

Quartet:
The D.A.R. have sent a cannon for the courthouse square.

Winthrop:
O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-coming now,
I don't know how I can ever wait to see.
It could be something for someone who is
No relation but it could be something special
Just for me!

O-ho, you Wells Fargo Wagon keep a-coming
O-ho, you Wells Fargo Wagon, keep a-coming.
O-ho you Wells Fargo Wagon, Don't you
dare make a stop Until you stop for me!