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Would You Buy A Used Jet From This Mechanic?

Problem: "forward landing gear almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced forward landing gear."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "#2 fuel-intake seeping prop fluid."

Solution: "#2 fuel-intake seepage normal."

Problem: "#1, #3 and #4 fuel-intakes lack normal seepage."

Solution: "Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on main forward landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "CMD volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right S-foil after brief search."