Rayanne heard the familiar sound of a door opening. She opened her AIM window to see who had gotten on. It was her Nick. A smile spread across her face as it always did when she got to talk to him.

An instant message screen appeared as he typed this message:

Carterpug: Get offline, I need to call you.

Smurfblue: OK, is something wrong?

Carterpug: No, just get off...hurry.

Smurfblue: Alright, I’ll get off right now...

She shut the instant message window from Nick, a little worried about why he need to talk to her so badly. She hoped nothing was wrong. She got offline and went over to sit by the phone. Less than 30 seconds later it rang.

“Hello” she said into the receiver, even though she knew it was Nick.

“Hey” came his sweet voice. He sounded so close, even though he was over 3,000 miles away. Her heart ached and she wished she could be there with him.

“What’s so important? Is something wrong?” she asked the worry slipping into her voice.

“No, not at all” he said. “I just wanted to tell you something and I didn’t want to do it online”.

“Oh, OK...so tell me”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and this whole situation, and I feel really bad for what I said. I hope you know I didn’t mean it, I was just trying to stop anyone from getting hurt.” She sat there, not really sure what he wanted her to say.

“So, what else did you think about it? she finally asked hesitantly, afraid to get her heart broken by him again.

“I thought that I feel the same way about you that you feel about me” he replied.

“Nick...I...oh God...” was all she could muster.

“Can you come?”

“To Europe?”

“Yeah, I want you to come with me for awhile. I can’t stand to feel this way about you and not have you here” he said. “Besides” he added, “if we’re gonna try and make this work, we have to spend time together, right?”

“Yeah. I cannot believe this. Of course I can come, but when? For how long?”

“Save the questions for later.” he laughed. “Come now and we’ll figure out for how long when you get here.”.

“Oh, I just realized, I can’t afford to fly out there right now” she said her heart sinking.

“Don’t worry about it...I’ll call and get the ticket, I’ll pay for it. You just go pack some clothes and wait for me to call back. Now, I need to know which airport you want to fly out of.”

“Nick, do not pay for my ticket. Do you have any idea how expensive a ticket to Europe is going to be?” She didn’t want him spending money on her.

“Hmm...do I know? Let’s see Ray, how many times have I had to get tickets from the states to Europe?” he asked with amused sarcasm in his voice.

“Well, then you do know. And I do not want you spending that much money on me.” she persisted.

“Rayanne Elizabeth, do not argue with me. I’m buying your ticket no matter what you say. Besides, do you want me to start feeling like you don’t want to come see me?”

“Oh Nick, God, you know that’s not it! I want to come see you more than anything in this world! I just-”

“I don’t want to hear it-I’m getting your ticket” Nick interrupted her.

A huge smile spread across Rayanne’s face when she realized how much Nick really did want her to be there with him.

“Thank you so much sweetie. You don’t know how much this means to me” she said sweetly.

“Yes I do, that’s why I’m doing it. And it means just as much if not more to me.”

“So, I get to do everything I’ve wanted now.” she said.

“You mean...” Nick started the sentence and trailed off.

“I get to fall asleep cuddled up next to you, wake up next to you-”

“Laugh with me when I’m happy and be there for me when I need you” he finished.

“Nick you remember!” she exclaimed.

“Of course I do, I’ve been thinking about that since the day you said it. I’ve always wanted that too, but...well, we’ll talk about it when you get here.” he said. “Now you better hurry up and tell me which airport you want to fly out of before I change my mind and don’t want you to come!” he added jokingly.

“Oh no Mr. Carter, you’ve got me now, and it’s gonna be way harder to get rid of me than that!” she laughed.

“I don’t want to get rid of you, so don’t you worry about that. Now, which airport for the 4th time?”

“Syracuse, Buffalo’s way too busy”.

“OK, how long will it take you to get to the airport?”

“Umm, about two hours” she said.

“Right now it’s what time there? 10:30, right? So no flights before 1:00”

“Right, 1:00 at the EARLIEST” she stressed.

“OK, let me see what I can do and be waiting for me to call soon” he said

“Alright” she said the excitement beginning to show in her voice.

“You’re excited aren’t you?” he asked

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? Just go call already! I wanna leave now!!!”

“OK” he laughed. “I’ll talk to ya in a few minutes”.

“OK. Bye.”

“Bye hun.” She hung up the phone.

She was in so much shock she couldn’t move, so she just sat in the chair. She thought for a few minutes about what had just happened.

“Oh my lord...I am going to Europe to be with Nick” she said in a whisper, but out loud.

She wished Sarah was home. She needed to tell someone about this. Since Megan was visiting Chad in West Virginia, she couldn’t call her.

“What a time to have your best friend be gone!” Rayanne said to herself. “My Megan, I need you!” she said to the air.

She sat there for a few more minutes, until she realized the clock was ticking. She got up and walked into her room, which was a mess.

“Ugh, how am I gonna find anything in here?!” she whined.

She went over to her chest and took out her purple bag. She opened it up, grabbed a handful of underwear out of her drawer and threw them in. She grabbed some bras and socks and threw them in too. She walked over to her shelf and grabbed some perfume and lotion.

“Hmm...what about these stupid clothes” she said out loud.

She grabbed some of her favorite clothes off the floor and figured it would be safe to make sure the rest of them were clean.

“Don’t wanna meet Nick for the first time and be all stinkie” she said to no one, with a smile on her face.

“Aaahhh...I’m going to Europe to meet Nick!!!” she screamed, when it hit her again what had just happened.

“You’re going WHERE?” came a familiar voice from out in the kitchen.

“Hey Sar! You’re home!” she said excitedly. “Nick called and asked me to come stay with him for awhile”.

“Nick Carter?” she asked dumbfounded. “In Europe?”

“Yup” answered Rayanne. “He called and told me he felt the same the way about me that I do him.”

“Wow, it’s about time!” her roommate smiled.

“I know! Now get in here and help me pack, silly!” she said.

“Are you nervous?” Sarah asked her.

“A little. I mean, I know in my heart that Nick likes me for who I am, that looks don’t matter to him. Anyway, he’s seen pictures of me, but I just worry, ya know?” Rayanne was 5’4”. She had straight blonde hair down to the middle of her back. It was layered so it would have body. Her eyes were her favorite feature on her body. They changed colors depending on her mood. Sometimes, generally when she was happy, they were a bright shade of blue. When she was upset, especially when she was crying, they were a deep but brightish green. Her mom always said they were really big and inquisitive. Rayanne was one of those people whose eyes told everything about her. Those who knew her well could take one look at her eyes and know exactly how she was feeling.

“Yeah, but you’re a cutie anyway...so don’t worry about it.” Rayanne’s roommate reassured her. “Hey, make sure you tell AJ all about me” she added with a grin.

“Oh, you know I will!”

Sarah just smiled. “Hey, maybe you could come stay with us for awhile” Rayanne suggested.

“I don’t want to interfere with anything” Sarah said.

“Oh no, you wouldn’t be! I’m sure none of them would mind. I know Nick wouldn’t...now that you guys are getting along” she grinned.

“Ha ha...you know I was just trying to protect you Ray!”

“I know and I love you for it, you know that, right?”

“Of course I do silly!” Sarah said giving her roommate a big hug. “Does Megan know yet?”

“No, she’s in West Virginia visiting Chad so I can’t call her.”

“Oh, that sucks” Sarah said sympathetically.

“I know, I wish I knew the number there, I would call. But she goes home the day after tomorrow so I’ll just call her from Europe....that’ll catch her off guard!” Rayanne smiled thinking about how much fun it was going to be to surprise her.

“I’m gonna miss you Ray” Sarah said looking a little sad.

“I’m gonna miss you too Sar.”

“I know what you’re doing is making you happy though, so I want you to do it. Hey, how long are you gonna be gone anyway?”

“I have no idea. If I stay for the whole tour, which I doubt would happen, I’d be back by the end of August at the latest.”

“Two whole months! Well, if you’re gonna be gone that long, do ya mind if Jacob moves in?” Sarah asked with a grin. Jacob was Sarah’s boyfriend, and he practically lived with them anyway.

Rayanne smiled at her. “Of course not silly. Just remember MY room is MY room...so no kinky stuff in there.”

“You always think the worst of me!” Sarah joked.

“Well, I’ve seen you in action.”

“Hey!” she said a little defensively.

“Oh, you know I was just joking silly. I just wish I had what you and Jacob have.”

Rayanne had had her share of boyfriends for sure, but no one gave her that special feeling she was looking for. Rayanne was a virgin and had had more than one boyfriend become “not so interested” when they found out she had no intentions of changing that until she was in love.

“Maybe this is your chance. You never know what is going to happen when you get there.”

“Oooh...I hope so!” Rayanne teased. “But it would be easy, it’s not like I have to TRY to find good qualities in Nick, I already know how I feel about him.”

“Yeah, so you are gonna keep me pos-”

She was cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. Rayanne’s heart jumped into her chest.

“Oh God, Sar that’s him” she said, nervous and excited all at once.

“Well, go get it!” Sarah said as she patted her butt to get her out of the room.

She ran into the living room, jumping onto the couch.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby, it’s all set.” Nick said.

“Really, when do I leave” Rayanne said excitedly.

“Your flight is NorthWest out of Syracuse at 1:50, and you land at London International at 11:00 P.M. London time. Someone will pick you up, but unfortunately I’m not sure if it will be me or not, cause we have a show”. he said, sounding disappointed.

“Hey, hun, it’s OK! Really, I don’t mind that you can’t pick me up, I’ll get to be with you soon enough” she reassured him, even though she had hoped he could be the first person she saw when she got there.

“I know, I just feel bad that you’re coming to a different country and I can’t be there to get you. And I want to see you as soon as you get here! I’m sick of waiting!” he said.

“Me too sweetie, but the longer we have to wait, the sweeter it will be”.

“Oh yeah, you have to switch planes in Phoenix. There’s no layover, so you won’t have time to do anything but get your bags and get on the plane.”

“OK, I’ve never done that before, I hope I don’t miss the plane!” exclaimed Rayanne.

“Well, you better go , it’s like 10:45 there, you have to leave like NOW” he said.

“I know, so I’ll see you in like 24 hours” she said.

“Yeah, wait though. When you get to the airport tell the lady that I called and booked your flight, cause there’s special arrangements for you, so she has to know it’s you.”

“Special arrangements? Like what?” she asked, wondering what he could be talking about.

“Don’t worry about it, just pack...and hurry up, if you miss this plane I will never forgive you” he said jokingly.

“I’d never forgive myself either!” she agreed.

“Be careful please. Don’t talk to people on the plane, try not to be nervous, and I’ll see you in a while, OK?”.

“Yes, dear, but remember I’m not the one who is scared of flying” she teased him.

“Yeah, yeah, just go pack so you can get here!” he said.

“OK, I’m going, I’m going...see you soon cutie!” she said.

“Yes you will sexy” he said.

“Bye hun” she laughed.

“Bye babe” he said.

She hung up the phone and ran into her room to tell Sarah everything he said. She found her packing her stuff into her bag for her.

“Aw..Sar you didn’t have to do that!” Rayanne exclaimed.

“Well, I want to get you to the airport on time goofy! And I’m gonna take you so you don’t have to leave your new car there. What time is your flight? What else do you need? Make sure you take a carry-on. Who’s picking you up? You better call when you get there. I want the number. Have you eaten anything? Do you want my motion sickness patches?”

“Sar...you lost me after ‘what time is your flight’...calm down” Rayanne laughed.

“Sorry, I’m just doing my mom thing.” Sarah smiled.

“I know...and no I haven’t eaten. And I think I’m hungry.”

“Well, go get something”

“Sarah, what the hell do we have to eat here?” Rayanne asked raising her eyebrows at her roommate.

“OK, well we’ll stop somewhere on the way, what do you want?” she asked picking up Rayanne’s favorite overalls. “I take it you want to take these?”

“Yeah, oh goodness Sar..I have to call my mom”

“Is she gonna freak?”

“I don’t know, she will, but she also knows how much I like Nick, and he has grown on her!”

Sarah just smiled and didn’t say anything. They both began to pack Rayanne’s things into the big purple bag and a small one for her to take on the plane.

Sarah didn’t say anything and the silence while they packed made Rayanne nervous. “Um, Sar, is something wrong?”

“Ray, I don’t wanna bring old stuff up, but don’t you remember what he did to you? I mean, I know that’s all over, and you guys are fine, but I can’t help but remember that night and how hurt you were.”

As much as Rayanne didn’t want to think about it, the second it was brought up, all the memories came flooding back.

She has known Nick for a few of months. They were introduced by a mutual friend and became close really quickly and talked every day. Then came the day that changed everything. Nick had told her that he was starting to like her. They talked about it a little and even though they both felt the same, he said it wasn’t a good idea for them to act on their feelings. That night Nick told Rayanne that they shouldn’t talk for a while, so their feelings could ‘dissipate’. She didn’t want to have to do that, but to make Nick happy she agreed. For a day they didn’t talk at all, and it broke Rayanne’s heart. That was the first day since they had met that they didn’t talk. As much as it was killing her to not have him as a friend, she didn’t make any effort to contact him. She did as he had asked and tried not to think about how much she missed him. The next day he started talking to her like nothing had happened. He didn’t say anything about the way they were feeling, or why he was breaking his own rule. She was so happy that she was talking to him, that she didn’t bring it up. Everything went back to normal until Rayanne’s feelings for Nick were too strong to not say anything.

Nick,
I know you said it wasn’t a good idea for us to act on the feelings we have for each other, but I can’t do this Nick. I can’t feel one way about you and pretend I feel another. I do love you as a friend, and I don’t want to lose that, but what I’m feeling now goes beyond what a friend is. I want to be able to fall asleep cuddled up next to you, wake up next to you, laugh with you when you’re happy and be there for you when you need me. I want to do these things Nick and I would, if you would just give me the chance to show you. I wish you could see what you have right in front of you Nick. Me, you have me.
Love,
Rayanne

She sent the email to let Nick know how she felt, even though she was pretty sure he already knew. She thought it was the right thing to do. He liked people to tell himm how they feeling and get everything out in the open. She sent the letter, not prepared at all for what he said back to her.

Rayanne,
What good did that do you? Didn’t I tell you how it had to be? You are not helping this situation AT ALL. I wish you could just understand...I need to you to stop doing this. Goodbye.

Rayanne stared at the screen and couldn’t believe he would do this.

Nick,
Please give me a chance to explain. I didn’t mean to upset you.
Love,
Ray

Ray,
I’m done. Goodbye.
Love,
Nick

She didn’t hear from him for almost a week. Finally he called and they talked a little. He said he couldn’t stand to not be here friend, and he missed talking to her. He also said that he couldn’t be with her, and friends was all they could be. Rayanne accepted what he said and they continued their relationship normally as friends. Rayanne thought every time she talked to him about how much more she wanted, but never brought it up again, until tonight. That was two weeks ago.

“Ray, sorry to have even brought that up. Forget I said anything. Do you want to take your bathing suit?” Sarah’s voice pulled her thoughts back to packing.

“Yeah, the blue and green one in my bottom drawer please.” she said. Sarah grabbed the suit out of her drawer and put it in her bag.

“Do you think he really wants to be with me? I was just thinking of that night with the email. What would have made him all of sudden change his mind?”

“I don’t know hun. He probably wanted to be with you the whole time, but was scared or couldn’t for some reason. You know Megan always told you that.”

“I guess. Now I’m worried.” Rayanne said.

Sarah knew that wasn’t why Nick had called her and told her how he felt. But she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy to convince Rayanne of that.

“I’ll be right back, keep packing for me.” Rayanne ran into the living room. She picked up the phone and dialed Nick’s cell phone number. It rang three times before he answered it.

“Hello?” he answered.

“What took ya so long?”

“Sorry I was getting into the shower, I couldn’t go back to sleep” he answered.

“Ooohh..wish I was there already” she said with a laugh.

“Cute, me too, so what do you want?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” he asked confused.

“Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice again before I left, is that OK?” she asked pretending her feelings were hurt.

“Aww...of course it is” he teased in a baby voice. “Are you sure that’s it? Nothing’s wrong?” he added, sounding concerned.

“Nah, I’m fine...just excited.” she said trying to sound excited and not sad.

“Are you almost ready to leave?”

“I don’t know. I’m not even packing, Sarah’s doing it for me. I still have to call my mom and tell her, I’m gonna have her tell work so they don’t yell at me.”

“Oh, that’s a way to be a big girl!” Nick laughed.

“So, I just wanna get in my car and go...they’re lucky I’m even telling them I’m leaving!”

“Cute Ray...now go pack and get your butt over here!”

“OK...I’m going, I promise”

“Alright...see ya-”

“Oh wait!” Nick was interrupted by Rayanne’s exclamation. “How am I gonna know who is picking me up? I need to know who to look for!” she said, starting to get nervous.

“I told Michael what you looked like, it will probably be him. He’ll have a black hat on and a black coat. But he’ll be waiting right at the entrance to the gate, so he’ll see you before you even get out into the airport. Don’t you worry, I’ve got my baby all taken care of.” Nick said sounding pleased. Rayanne smiled, feeling better now that she had talked to him. She knew his feelings were sincere.

“You’re too good to me.” she said in a sweet voice.

“You just wait till you get here!” he answered. “Which you will never do if you don’t go pack!”

“I know...I’m going, for real this time.”

Sarah came out of her room at that moment carrying her huge purple bag. She looked like she was going to tip over.

Rayanne giggled. “Oh lord, Nick, I wish you were here to see this.”

“Hey! I packed for you, you should be grateful, not laughing.” Sarah said defensively. “Look at how fast I did that...you just found out you were going like a half hour ago, and you’re ready!”

“Thanks sweetie.” Rayanne said sincerely, hugging her roommate.

“Ray...” came Nick’s voice through the phone she forgot she was holding.

“Sorry baby...I’m going. See you in a while!”

“You sure will! Is Sarah bringing you to the airport?”

“Yup”

“OK, well tell her I said to drive safety.”

“I will DAD.” Rayanne said.

“I’m just doing...nevermind. See ya soon babe.”

“yup.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Rayanne hung up the phone and looked at Sarah. “One more call, then we can go. Are you sure you got everything?”

“Lots of clothes, bathing suit, toothbrush, deodorant, brush, hair stuff, all your jewelry, favorite CD’s and a couple books. I figure whatever else you need Nick will have there.”

“Sar, I don’t want to use all his stuff the whole time I’m there. I don’t want to be a mooch.”

“Ray, look, he’s flying you all the way to London to be with him, I don’t think he cares if you use his shampoo. Now quit your whining and grab us some soda. We have to go.”

“Alright already.” Rayanne said as she walked to the refrigerator and got two sodas. She walked over to the phone and called her mother. It rang twice before she answered.

“Hi sis!” she said into the phone when she picked it up.

“Hey mom...I have something pretty important to tell you...” she began.