Nick,
I love you. Please remember that always. But I’m going home. It’s what I need to do. It’s what you need me to do whether you realize it or not. You obviously feel something for Lyndsey and it’s not fair to either of you if you ignore it. I am not justifying what you did or how you made me feel, but I love you so much that the only thing I want is for you to be happy; and if there’s a chance this is what will make you happy, I want you to do it. I’m not going home to forget about you, because we both know that won’t happen. You will be in my thoughts every second of everyday. I just won’t do this, I can’t. I hope whatever happens with Lyndsey makes you truly happy. If it doesn’t, you know where I am; I’ll always be yours Nick. Tell Lyn I’m sorry. I love you baby.
Love,
Rayanne

Rayanne folded the note and put it on Nick’s pillow. Her packed bags were waiting by the door. She left her room to find Brian. She had only gotten halfway to his room when she ran into AJ and Amanda.

“There you are Ray, we’ve been looking for you. Where have you been?”

“In my room. Can you guys come with me for a second?”

“Sure.” They followed her down the hall to the room she had, until tonight, shared with Nick.

“Ray? What the hell is going on?” AJ asked when he saw her bags.

“Do you know where Nick is?” She avoided his question.

“He hasn’t come out of Brian’s room yet.”

“Where is everyone else?”

“B is with Lyn in her room. Kev, Howie and Leigh are just hanging in Kev’s room waiting.”

“OK, this is what I need you guys to do for me. Please. I’m going home.”

“What?!” Amanda almost shouted.

“I have to. I’m sorry. I want to say goodbye to everyone, but I can’t see Nick right now. Or Lyndsey. AJ, could you call and get me a flight?”

“Uh...I guess. Are you sure this is-”

“Yes.”

“OK, I’ll call.”

“Thanks. Manders, could you go get Bri, Leigh, Kev and Howie?”

“Sure.”

Rayanne handed AJ her cell phone as Amanda walked out the door. After AJ pulling a few strings and arguing a bit with the airline, Rayanne had a flight back to Buffalo. She left in 20 minutes.

“Bye D, I’ll miss you.” she said as she hugged Howie first.

“I’ll miss you too Ray. We’ll have to get together and go back to London for some of that fine Chinese food.”

She pulled away and smiled. “Yeah, we will.”

“I got you to smile!”

“Yup, thank you Howie.”

She turned to Kevin next.

“Thank you Kevin. You’re too much of a big brother to me.”

He bent down and picked her up as he hugged her.

“You take care of yourself. I’m going to miss you. More than I thought I would.” he whispered in her ear.

“I’ll miss you too Kev.”

After Kevin put her down she made her way to AJ.

“Oh, AJ...what can I say to you?” she smiled and tried not to cry. “You’re the one who got me drunk!”

“Yes, but I’ve done so much more!” he smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Call me OK?”

“I will girl. “

“I love you AJ.”

“I love you to Ray.”

She squeezed him tight before she let go. She turned to look at Brian and started crying.

“Can I be alone with B for a minute? I’m sorry.”

“Sure.”

After everyone had left, Rayanne looked at Brian.

“B, I am so sorry. I never meant for anything like this to happen.”

“Ray, it’s not your fault.”

“Some of it is. I started a fight with your sister. I’m sorry, and I hope she realizes that too. I can’t even think about how much I’m going to miss Nick, it hurts too much. But the person I’m going to miss the most next to only him is you.”

“Aww...Ray.” he hugged her as she cried harder.

“What am I going to do without you? You’re like...you’re B.”

“You’ll call me. And I’ll call you. And we’ll visit, we’ll see each other. Don’t you worry about that.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I love you Bri.”

“I love you too Ray.”

“I guess we can let everyone back in.”

She went to open the door. The others walked back through the door and waited for Rayanne to say something.

“Leigh...” Rayanne started.

LeighAnne walked to her and gave her a hug.

“No matter what happens with Nick, you’re always one of my favorite people in this world, you know that. I’ll call you soon sweetie.”

“OK. I miss you already.”

LeighAnne backed away and Rayanne saw that she was crying. She knew LeighAnne wasn’t a ‘goodbye’ person so she left it at that.

“Manders.”

“Ray.”

“I’m gonna miss you like crazy girl.”

“I’ll miss you too!” Rayanne got her final hug from Amanda, holding on for an extra long time.

“You better call me.” Rayanne said with a joking threat in her voice.

“You know I will.”

After her good-byes she got Brian and LeighAnne to ride to the airport with her. She hated leaving everyone, and walking out of the hotel without seeing Nick one last time was almost too much for her to handle.

“Why didn’t you want to say goodbye to Nicky?” LeighAnne inquired on the way to the airport.

“I kinda did when we were talking in your room. I left him a note on our be-his bed.”

“You know this is hard on him too.”

“I know.”

“I just don’t want you to think that he doesn’t care.”

“I know he does.”

“I don’t want you to think there’s a single one of us that doesn’t care.”

Rayanne smiled. “I know you do. All of you.”

“Alllrighty then.” Brian said in his Jim Carrey voice. “Let’s get this girl happy before she has to sit on an uncomfortable airplane for an ungodly number of hours.”

The girls laughed. Rayanne was glad to not have to talk about it anymore. The rest of the short ride to the airport they talked about good memories, funny stuff that made her laugh. When it came time for her to board her plane, she made the good-byes quick and refrained from crying. She waved goodbye to Brian and LeighAnne from the gate and got on the plane.

She called Mandy as soon as the plane had taken off to ask her to pick her up at the airport and bring her home. She slept most of the way, trying to keep her mind of everything that had happened that day.

*Brian’s room*
Kevin and AJ made their way to Brian’s room immediately after Brian and LeighAnne took Rayanne to the airport. They found Nick laying on the bed, his eyes closed.

“Nicky get up.” AJ said.

“Why?” he asked without opening his eyes.

“Uh...Ray left.”

Nick’s eyes opened slowly and he sat up on the bed. “What?”

“She left.”

“Where did she go? Who went with her?”

“Nobody, she went home man.”

“She did what?”

“She went home.”

Nick got up, storming by Kevin and AJ and headed to his room. He didn’t find this joke funny and had every intention of letting Rayanne know that. He flung open the door expecting her to be there waiting for him. He looked over the room quickly, seeing nothing. He walked into the bathroom.

“Ray!?” he yelled.

AJ followed him into the room. “I’m not joking man, she’s not here.”

“She’s got to be! That shit’s not fair!”

“None of it’s fair Nicky.”

“Leave me alone please.”

AJ walked out of Nick’s room leaving him alone. He walked to the bed and sat down, seeing the note on his pillow for the first time.

He read in silence, tears forming in his eyes, when he realized she really was gone.

*New York*
When she arrived at the airport Mandy was waiting for her. It was the first time they had seen each other in a little over a year. Rayanne ran to her best friend and hugged her tight for what seemed like forever. Mandy kept her mind off Nick the entire ride home to the apartment she shared with Sarah.

When the arrived at her apartment they found a note on the refrigerator from Sarah. It was dated, two weeks old.

Ray,
I’m sorry you have to find out like this, but since we never TALK anymore I didn’t know how else to tell you. I moved out. Jacob asked me to get an apt. with him so I did. What happened to you when you left? You called me all the time at first...did you forget about me? Your roommate sitting back here at OUR apt. waiting for you to come home? I know I didn’t call either, but it’s only because you didn’t. Anyway, when you get this all my stuff will be gone. The apt. is yours. Enjoy.
Sar

“What the hell?” Rayanne asked confused.

They walked around the apartment and found Sarah’s room completely empty, all her stuff out of the living room, kitchen and bathroom.

“Oh my God. She’s really gone.” Mandy said.

“Yeah, no shit. This is lovely. Tack it on...what a wonderful two days I’ve had.”

“It’ll be OK. Think about it this way: you have an apartment to yourself!”

Rayanne smiled. “I guess you’re right. But Ducky, I can’t be alone, you know that. Will you stay with me? Please.”

“I would love to.”

Rayanne threw the note from Sarah in the garbage and started unpacking her stuff. Mandy helped her rearrange the living room and put out more of her stuff to replace what Sarah had taken. After a few hours of keeping her mind of Nick, Rayanne felt a little bit better, but not much. That night they went to Mandy’s house to get stuff for her to stay with Rayanne.

“Hey honey! Where have you been hiding yourself?” Mandy’s mom asked as she gave Rayanne a hug.

“Uhh...I was in Europe for a while. I missed you guys though!”

“Ray!!!” Mandy’s younger brother Tyler ran into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Hey Ty. How ya been?” she asked wrapping her arms around his head so he couldn’t breathe. She laughed as he struggled to get away from her. “What’s the matter Ty? Having some trouble breathing?”

“Ahhh...just a little.” he cracked as she let him go.

“I’m gonna get some stuff and stay with Ray for awhile, OK?”

“Sure sweetie.”

“If Derek calls tell him where I am.”

“OK hun, you girls stay out of trouble!”

Rayanne put on an evil grin. “We always do Mrs. Mullen.”

“You girls...” she laughed as she turned her attention back to making dinner.

“Come on Raybee, help me pack.” Rayanne followed Mandy up the stairs and helped her pack everything she would need.

“Bye Mrs. Mullen.” Rayanne said giving her another hug before they climbed back in her Jetta and headed back to her apartment.

Rayanne cried herself to sleep that night, but didn’t sleep much after she did. Each time she drifted to sleep she awoke still shaking from a horrible dream she couldn’t quite remember.

*Europe*
It had been a few hours since Brian and LeighAnne got back from the airport. Everyone was trying to get things normal again, no one had yet said a word about what had happened.

As the girls left for a walk around the hotel, Brian made his way to Nick’s room.

“You OK little man?”

“Would you be?”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“OK.” Brian backed off, knowing it was best for now. “Want to play something?”

“She left me a note.”

“She did?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to tell me what it said?”

“She told me to be with Lyn.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“I said ‘yes’.”

“Did the note say anything else?”

“She said I still have a chance with her.”

“She did? So she’ll get back together with you?”

“Yeah, but I’m with Lyndsey now.”

“Does Lyn know that yet?” Brian laughed trying to cheer him up.

“No. She will.”

“Just be careful OK? I don’t want anyone getting hurt again.”

“Nobody will.”

“Cause remember, she is my sister.”

“I know she is Rok. Let’s just drop it for now.”

“OK man.”

When the girls had gotten back from their walk, Nick went to Lyndsey’s room to talk to her. He spent the night in her room that night.

“Lyn, don’t do that.”

“You know it feels right.”

“I know. But Ray...”

“Ray left. It’s you and me again.”

Lyndsey smiled as Nick rolled on top of her, kissing her deeply. She felt him become aroused.

“Oh Nick...”

“We better stop.” he said.

“OK...” agreed a confused Lyndsey.

“I love you.” Nick whispered.

He kissed her again, then rolled off her.

“It feels good to hear you say that again.”

“Get used to it.” he said and tightened his grip on her. “Good night.”

*The next morning-Europe*
Nick woke up first, letting Lyndsey sleep. He went to the bathroom and got in the shower. A few minutes later, Lyndsey poked her head through the curtain.

“Morning sexy.” she smiled as he took her hand and pulled her in.

He kissed her and pinned her against the wall. She kissed him back, running her hands over his body, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

“Lyndsey!” Brian called, banging on her door just as they finished their shower.

“Coming!” she wrapped a towel around herself and answered the door.

“Whoa..sis, you could have warn-” Brian stopped talking when he saw Nick come out of the bathroom in his boxers.

“Did I disturb something?”

“No, we were just getting out of the shower.”

“Shower?” Brian looked at his sister, his eyebrows raised.

“Bri, I’m 18.”

“Yeah, but Nick and Ray-”

“Broke up.” Nick cut him off, wrapping his arms around Lyndsey from behind.

Brian’s face grew grim. “Nick, I swear if you’re using my sister as a rebound...”

“I love her Bri.”

“OK...” Brian turned and walked away, having forgotten why he went to Lyndsey’s room in the first place.

“Leigh!” he called as he entered their room.

“What?”

“Nick and Lyn. They took a shower together.”

“What?!”

“Exactly. I hope Nicky knows what he’s doing. Three people stand to lose a lot right now. But I’m out of it. I can’t stop them. I know what Lyndsey went through with that breakup and I know how much Rayanne loves Nick. Maybe this will clarify things for him.”

“I hope so.”

“And I’m here for Lyn if he decides to go back to Ray. We all know he still has that option. But I won’t pity her, or feel sorry for her because she knows it could happen and she’s getting involved anyway.”

“Bri, she loves Nick. She can’t help how she feels. I’d do the same thing if it was you and I.”

“I know...”

*That afternoon-New York*
“Wanna have a party tonight?” Rayanne suggested as they ate their lunch of macaroni & cheese and watched “The Land Before Time.”

Mandy’s forked stopped halfway to her mouth. “You sure you want to?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a little worried about you Rayanne. I know how much this hurts and you haven’t even talked about it yet. You need to get it out and a party isn’t going to help.”

“Yes it will. I need to be normal. I can’t mope.”

“I know you though, and I know this isn’t going to do you any good.”

“Mandy please. I need this.”

“Alright.” she gave in.

“Good. Now watch the movie.”

When the movie was over they did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Rayanne started calling people to come to the party.

“Should we call Jeff?”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No. Not since last summer. Have you?”

“I saw him at Regal once and in the Galleria twice. But we didn’t talk.”

“So should we invite him?”

“Do you want to?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“OK then.” Mandy smiled. “Call him, but I think we should make it very clear that...ya know.”

“The three of us are friends now.” Rayanne finished her thought.

“Yeah, just.”

“Right.”

When Rayanne was done, 12 people were coming, and she had changed her mind about calling Jeff.

“Are you disappointed I didn’t call Jeff?”

“Nah. I’m just glad we’re gonna have fun tonight!”

“Yup! Routine!”

Mandy laughed as she headed for the bathroom. Every party they had together, they used the same routine. They knew they were superstitious, but since they were 15 they had always gotten ready for parties the same, and each time they had fun. They were sure that if they broke the routine, the party would be no good.

Mandy took her shower first, 12 minutes; and got dressed in Rayanne’s bedroom while she took her shower, 11 minutes. They did each others hair and their own makeup. When they were ready they watched an old home movie they had made when they were 12. They shared a bowl of ice cream, leaving the bowl in the middle of the kitchen table when they were done. They brushed their teeth, put on their shoes and headed out the door to get munchies for the party.

“It’s been so long since we’ve done that.” Rayanne giggled as they climbed into Mandy’s Durango.

“I know it, it was fun though.”

“Yeah.”

“What should we get for the party this time?”

“I don’t want lots of people getting crazy drunk, I just got home, I’m not even really settled yet.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

“Great minds think alike.” Rayanne smiled as they made the 5 minute drive to the store.

*Europe*
Nick headed to his room to get ready for the concert leaving Lyndsey alone in hers. She picked up the phone to call her and Brian’s parents.

“Hi momma!” She smiled when she heard her mother’s voice.

“Hi, sweetie! How’s Europe with the guys?”

“Awesome! Guess what momma?”

“What Lyn?”

“Nicky and I are back together.”

“That’s great! Will things work out OK this time?”

“I hope so..I feel bad though. He had a girlfriend when I got here...but he kissed me in an elevator here in Milan, and she found out, of course. So her and I got in a huge fight, her and Nick got in a huge fight, and she left. She went back to New York because of me. She’s so nice too momma.”

“I’m sorry to hear that sweetie.”

“Me too. We were friends. It ruined our friendship.”

“Well, sweetie, I think you know the right thing to do.”

“I love him with all my heart though.”

“Lyndsey...you know what to do.”

“I know. I have to go, we’re heading to the venue in about 5 minutes.”

“OK sweetie. Tell Brian I said ‘hello’, and that I love him, and tell everyone else ‘hi!’.”

“I will. I love you!”

“I love you too sweetheart. Bye now.”

“Bye.”

Lyndsey hung up the phone and ran to Brian and LeighAnne’s room.

“BLT!” she yelled.

Brian opened the door. “Yes?”

“Mom says she loves you and hello.”

“OK.”

“I just got off the phone with her. I told her what happened with Nick and Ray and me. I’ve got to talk to Nick later on tonight. So if you guys could maybe leave us alone for a few hours after the show?”

“Talk about what?”

“About him and I. This isn’t right.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes.”

“Why this sudden attack of conscience?”

Lyndsey just rolled her eyes and went to her room until it was time to leave.

“Lyn, let’s go.” Nick said as he walked in her door a few minutes later.

The eight of them piled into the van that would take them to the venue.

“I have to talk to you later.” she whispered to him.

“About what?”

“Us.”

Nick got a worried look on his face. “What about us?”

“Not now Nick. Later.”

“Fine.”

He was silent the rest of the ride. When they got to the arena the girls hung around backstage while the guys got ready.

“Give me a kiss for good luck?”

“Sure.” Lyndsey smiled and kissed Nick sweetly on the lips.

“I was thinking more like this...” he said slipping his tongue into her mouth, running his hands down her back.

“Sorry to disappoint you!” she joked. “Go!”

“I’m going!” he smiled as he ran off and took his position.

*New York*
Two hours later people started arriving for the party. They had tons of food and lots of soda, but had stayed away from alcohol as planned.

A little after midnight their friend Kelsey arrived, uninvited and drunk.

“I heard you guys were having a party, what’s up with not inviting me?!” she said after barging in the door without knocking.

“Sorry, we thought you weren’t home.” Rayanne lied.

“I brought some stuff.” she said putting a bottle of vodka on the counter. She was holding another half empty one in her hand.

“We’re not drinking.” Mandy explained.

“Well I am. Just let me have my fun.”

“Fine.”

They decided to let her stay, figuring she was one person, she couldn’t do too much damage.

“Let’s dance!” she yelled running into the living room and cranking the Blink 182 CD they had been listening to. She grabbed Justin with her free hand and started dancing. After the Blink CD was over, Kelsey walked over and changed the CD.

Rayanne heard the intro she knew was the beginning to Larger Than Life.

“Oh God, Mandy, please don’t let her be doing this.”

Much to Rayanne’s relief the music stopped.

“Thank God.”

*Yeah...You are, my fire, the one desire, believe, when I say...I want it that way.*

“Make her stop, please!” she begged Mandy.

*But we, are two worlds apart, can’t reach to your heart, when you say, that I want it that way*

“Mandy PLEASE!”

“Kelsey, turn it off please.”

“Why?” she asked turning the volume higher. “Little Miss Perfect can’t take it? Can’t listen to it?”

“We just don’t feel like listening to it, take it out.”

“Right. She can’t hack it. Does somebody miss Nicky?”

Rayanne tried to fight it, but couldn’t help but cry.

”Aww...is poor little Rayanne Winters gonna cry?”

“Turn it off Kelsey.” she said.

“No. I wanna see you listen to it. You think you’re so perfect, oh-so-perfect. Got Nick Carter, who wouldn’t want him?”

“Shut up.”

“Well guess what? You might have gotten him, but you obviously couldn’t keep him. What’d ya do? Refuse to fuck him?”

Rayanne walked over to the CD player and turned it off.

“I want to listen to it.” Kelsey turned it back on.

“Why are you being like this? What the hell is your problem?”

“I’m just loving this. Watching you fall.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“I’ve waited for this for so long. Flew all the way to Europe to get dumped.” she said shaking her head. “That’s something to be proud of.”

“You don’t even know what happened over there.”

“I know you came back. That’s all I need to know.”

“You’re so fucking dumb. Do me a favor please, just go. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

“Fine. I’ll go, leave your stupid ass party anyway.” She headed for the door, leaving the unopened bottle of vodka on the counter. “Come on Justin.”

Justin and a few others followed her to the door. When they had gone, everyone was quiet.

“Come on guys! What are we being quiet for? The bitch is gone, lets have fun!” Rayanne put a smile back on her face.

Someone changed the CD to Christina Aguilera and everyone started dancing again. Rayanne went to the counter and opened the bottle of vodka, pouring herself a glass.

“What are you doing?” Mandy asked.

“It’s here, might as well drink it. Anyway, I need to forget everything she just said.”

“She’s just Kelsey, you know better than to listen to her.”

“Yeah, well it’s hard when most of it’s true.”

She walked to the living room with her glass and started dancing. After the first two songs someone turned it to Blessed.

“Dance?” Ryan asked her.

“Of course.” she said wrapping her arms around his neck, holding her second glass of vodka so it wouldn’t spill.

She rested her chin on his shoulder and sang softly to herself. “There are times, that test your faith, till you think you might surrender. Baby, I’m not ashamed to say...you walked by in the nick of time, looking like an answered prayer.”

“So...single again?”

She picked her head up off his shoulder and looked at him. “What did you hear?”

“Nothing. I just knew that you went to visit that Nick guy for awhile. After Kelsey going off, I’m not sure what to think.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m back.”

“So, do you want to do something this weekend?”

Instead of answering him she brought her cup to her mouth and drank it all without stopping.

“Ray? What are you doing?”

“Shit! I hate this stuff.” she said making a face.

“Sorry I asked about this weekend.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault. How about you call me Friday and we’ll see?”

“OK. You sure?”

“Yeah, hang on for a second, I have to get another drink. You want one?”

“No thanks.”

She went to the kitchen to refill her glass again, taking a big gulp from the container before heading back into the living room.

“OK, I’m back.”

“Ray...what’s going on? You don’t usually drink like this.”

“I know. I hate this crap. I don’t know how he can drink it.”

“Who?”

“Nevermind.”

To see you never go...never, never, never go.* The song ended.

“Somebody hit it to number 2!” she yelled over the music. “Dance with me again.”

She took Ryan’s hand and started dancing the way she knew she shouldn’t. She was giving him the wrong idea, but she didn’t care. Maybe she would sleep with him tonight. Nick was probably sleeping with Lyndsey anyway, right?

“Whatever makes me happy, set’s you free...” she rubbed her body against his.

“Ray...”

“Ryan...hey that’s kinda funny. Ryan and Rayanne. We should have a kid and name her Ryanne. Get it? Ryanne...you don’t think that’s funny?”

“Yeah, it’s funny.” he smiled.

“Are you sure you don’t want to drink?”

“I’m sure. Somebody’s gotta be ready to take care of you.” he laughed and poked her nose.

“Nobody has to take care of me, I’m a big girl.” she smiled seductively at him and moved herself closer.

“It’s kinda hot in here, want me to put another fan out?”

“It is hot in here, isn’t it?” she asked setting her drink down and pulling her shirt over her head.

“Whoa...good thing you have that tank top on!” Ryan joked. “That very little tank top.”

“I can lose this too if you want...”

“That’s OK Ray, you just keep everything else on.”

She picked her drink up and finished it. “Hang on...one more.”

“Number 5!” she heard someone yell as she filled her glass for the fourth time.

“Ray, give it to me.”

She turned to see Mandy standing next to her.

“Mandy, let me have some fun tonight, please?”

“Drink that cause it’s poured already, after that you’re done.” she capped the bottle and put it on top of the refrigerator.

“You’re no fun.” she joked. “Come dance with me and Ryan.”

Rayanne led Mandy into the living room by the hand.

*Knock, Knock*

Mandy went to answer the door and returned with her boyfriend Derek.

“Hey Der!” Rayanne hugged him. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”

“I know! How is Ray anyway?”

“Ray’s fine!”

“Alright! Let’s dance!” he laughed.

Rayanne grabbed Ryan’s hand again and danced the rest of the song. When she drank the rest of her drink, she snuck in the kitchen and filled her glass again.

”I’ll have fun whether they want me to or not!” she thought to herself.

“Change the CD?” Derek asked to anyone who was listening.

“No!” Rayanne yelled coming back into the living room. “Number 11 please.”

“OK, number 11 for the hostess!” he laughed and advanced the CD to track 11.

She heard the music start and immediately thought of sitting on Nick’s lap the night they had the party at his house. He sang to her...

”Stop it!” she scolded herself.

“Come on Ray! Let’s do our thing!” Ryan laughed.

She walked up to Ryan, who wasn’t much more than a blur now, and wrapped her arms around his neck even though it wasn’t a slow song.

“Ray? What are you doing?”

She put her finger to his mouth to quiet him before leaning in for a kiss. She felt his warm lips against hers and his grip tighten on her waist.

“No one ever said that love was gonna be easy...”

She slipped her tongue past his lips and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck.

”You better stop, listen to these words that I say. You better stop, don’t you throw this good thing away.”

She felt the tears coming, but thought if she just concentrated on what she was doing, she’d be OK...

“Better listen when I say, love will find a way...”

Her lip started to quiver as a single tear fell from her eye, running down her cheek.

”Somebody tried to tell me love don’t last forever, said it only happens in your wildest dreams...“

“Ray? Are you OK?” Ryan asked pulling away from her.

“No...” she let the tears flow freely.

“What’s wrong?”

”After all that’s said and done, we’re still here together!!” she screamed as loudly as she could through her crying, everyone stopping what they were doing. ”Never listen to the lies and jealousy!!!” she kept going, Mandy taking her glass away from her and giving it to Ryan and pulling her into a big hug.

“Love will find a way...” she half sang, half sobbed, crying with her head on Mandy’s shoulder.

“Ryan...take her for a minute.” she said opening her arms and letting Ryan take her place.

“Come here Ray...”

“Derek...can you do me a huge favor and make everyone leave without causing a big scene? You should go too.”

“Alright. Is she gonna be OK?”

“I hope so. She needs to be alone, I knew this party wasn’t a good idea.”

“OK, give me a minute and I’ll get everyone out. I call tomorrow OK?” he said kissing her forehead. “Take good care of her.”

“Always.” she smiled.

She heard Derek start asking people to leave. The music stopped as Mandy made her way to Rayanne’s bedroom, where Ryan was trying to get her to go to bed.

“Ray, just sleep sweetheart. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

“Is he going to be here when I wake up?! No! I won’t feel better. He’s probably-”

“Ray!” Mandy walked to her. “Honey, let Ryan go home OK? It’s just us now. Just Ducky and Little Foot. Alright? Want me to sleep with you tonight sweetie?”

“No. I don’t want to go to sleep.” she pouted.

“You’re gonna be sick if you don’t hun.”

Ryan put his coat on and kissed Rayanne on the top of the head before he left.

“Bye Ryan. Sorry.” she apologized.

“It’s not your fault Ray. I’m sorry. Call me if you need to talk...ever, OK?”

He was the last one out the door, locking it behind him.

“OK, you ready to sleep chica?”

“I guess.”

“OK, we’ll clean up tomorrow. You need to rest.”

“I need to pee.”

“OK, need help?”

She looked at Mandy and laughed. “I’m drunk, I’m not an invalid.”

Mandy got a bucket and a glass of water and set them by her bed, just in case, while she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She came back into the room and threw all her clothes on the floor, sleeping in her tanktop and underwear.

“You all set?”

“Yeah. Ugh, I have cramps. I bet I’m gonna get my frickin’ period tomorrow.”

“Are you gonna puke?”

“No it’s not that kind of cramps, it’s period cramps, which I love.” she smiled and held her stomach.

“As do I Raybee, as do I. Can I turn out the light?”

“Yeah. See you in the morning.”

“Love you Ray.”

“Love you too Mand.”

*The same time-Europe*
“Nick, first off, I want to tell you I love you.” Lyndsey started.

“Lyn, please tell me you’re not breaking it off with me. Please.”

Lyndsey just looked at Nick. “What you are doing is wrong.”

“What am I doing?”

“Do you love Rayanne?”

“y...yeah.”

“Do you love me?”

“Lyn...”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” he started fidgeting.

“You have to pick one of us.”

“I already did sweetie.”

“No, Nick. You didn’t.”

“Yes I did.”

“I’ve heard from a reliable source that you told Rayanne you were in love with her. The day she left.”

Nick looked down and didn’t respond.

“So, who did you pick?”

“You.”

“You have to call Rayanne and tell her. See how heartbroken she is, maybe you’ll change your mind.”

“Lyndsey Taylor Littrell..I love you. I choose you. You are my angel. Please believe me.”

“I want to Nick, I love you so much.” she said softly.

“I love you.” he said again.

Lyndsey smiled, showing him she believed him.

“Don’t think you’re getting out of calling Ray.”

“Fine.”

“I want you to call her by Friday.”

“Okay.” he said shortly.

They climbed in bed and fell asleep without saying another word. The next morning, everyone was on the bus and in their bunks by 5a.m. on their way to Rome.

“Ya know Lyn...I’m glad things worked out this way.”

“Why?”

“Because. We’re soul mates.” he wrapped his arms around her.

“What about you and Rayanne? You went so far as to get matching tattoos.”

Nick didn’t respond.

“I’m going back to sleep.” she said shutting her eyes.

Nick couldn’t sleep, so he went to the back to play video games while he waited for everyone to start waking up.

“Morning Nicky!” LeighAnne and Brian were the first ones awake.

“Morning guys.”

“What’s up with Mortal Kombat? Something wrong?”

“Lyndsey. I’m not sure what, but I don’t like it. Everytime I try to talk about us, she brings up Ray.” Nick said, pausing the game to talk to them.

“Well, ya know Nick...put yourself in her shoes. She’s probably a little insecure about her feelings for her. Thank about it. You and Ray break up and suddenly you’re showing all this love and affection for her.” LeighAnne tried to explain.

Just then Lyndsey came running down the hall and jumped on Nick, smothering him in kisses. LeighAnne looked at Brian, confused. Brian raised his eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

“You two...” she laughed.

Nick and Lyndsey sat up with smiles on their faces. Lyndsey leaned in to whisper something in Nick’s ear, his smile growing bigger. Soon everyone was awake, hanging out in the back and Lyndsey and Nick made their way back to the bunk they shared.

“Oh God...Nick. This is where you tell me we stop right?” she asked running her fingers through his hair as he made his way down her body, leaving a trail of kisses.

He pulled off her underwear and spread her legs gently with his hands.

“No.”

He kissed her, slipping his tongue into her mouth, and thrusted into her.

They both gasped from the pleasure of the initial penetration.

“But Ray...”

“Left. It’s me and you. You said so yourself.”

He quieted her by kissing her lips, trying to push Rayanne out of his mind.

“Oh God Nick!” she said again, this time louder.

“Can you believe them?” Amanda laughed. “We can hear them all the way back here.”

“Whoo! Go Nicky!” AJ cheered him on.

“AJ, you’re terrible!” the girls both said.

“I’m terrible? Who’s the one who’s-”

“Oh, oh shit...Oh God.” they heard Nick groan.

“My point ladies!”

*That morning-New York*
Mandy woke up early expecting Rayanne to sleep until at least noon. Instead when she walked into the living room, she saw Rayanne laying on the couch watching old home movies.

“Morning Mand.” she said when she saw her best friend.

“You’re up earlier than I thought you would be.”

“I know. I have killer cramps, I can’t sleep.”

“No hangover?”

“Nope. Actually I feel fine. I already ate two pieces of toast, a bowl of cereal and two poptarts!” she laughed.

“Whoa! I’m glad you’re feeling OK. We can do something this afternoon.”

“Yup. For now just let me lay here and let the pills I’ve been popping all morning kick in.”

Mandy smiled. “Sounds good.”

They fell silent watching their old home movies; laughing, then crying, then laughing because they were crying.

“Feeling any better?” Mandy asked her as she got up to take the second tape out.

“No! I’m getting pissed. I’ve never had cramps this bad. Man, sometimes I wish I were a guy!”

“Me too. Then you could be my boyfriend.” she smiled.

“You know I would Ducky. I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Alright. I’ll be in this exact spot when you get out!”

“Somehow I knew that.” Rayanne smiled.

Rayanne made her way to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower while Mandy sat in the living room and watched their 11 year old selves on the TV screen...worried about her best friend, wishing with all she had that they could have that innocence back.