Rayanne had been home for a week to the day. She hadn’t heard a word from Nick, and she assumed it meant that her walking out of his room that night had meant nothing to him. She was attempting to get on with her life and convince Mandy she didn’t even think about him anymore, but she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone.

“You OK Ray?” Mandy asked quietly as she walked up behind her, touching her shoulder.

She turned around to see her best friend holding her favorite teddy bear, Toby Bear. “Look who I found at the bottom of your closet.”

She attempted a smile as she took the bear from her. She squeezed him tightly and closed her eyes. A vision of Nick pinning her down on the bed her first night in Europe flashed behind her closed eyelids. She jerked her eyes open and looked at Mandy.

“I hate that.” she said. “Everytime I close my eyes, I see him. I can’t get away from him Mandy. It’s been a week...shouldn’t it get a little easier?”

“Come on, let’s go shopping or something. We’ll go to a movie. A kinda sad one, so everyone else will cry too and you won’t feel alone.” she smiled, trying to cheer her up.

Rayanne managed a decent smile, not for herself, but for Mandy.

“Cause I know you’ll just cry at a funny movie too.” she giggled.

“Come on, let’s do it.”

They got in Mandy’s silver Durango and drove the 20 minutes to the mall. After two and a half hours of shopping, Rayanne had spent too much money, had lots of cool new stuff, and felt no better. They ate at Burger King, her favorite. She treated herself to a Frosty, then picked out what movie she wanted to see. With Mandy’s help she decided on ‘Never Been Kissed’ . She loved the movie, and despite it being a comedy it made her cry horribly. It was kind of sad in parts, but mostly because every kiss, every hug, every mention of “I love you” reminded her of something she was trying to forget. She watched the movie quietly, thinking of what Nick was doing the entire time.

*Europe*
“Nick, what’s wrong? Why did we need to talk?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Something’s wrong sweetie. You’ve been quiet all day.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Lyndsey walked around the bed to face him.

“If nothing’s wrong, why did we need to-oh my God. You’re breaking it off with me aren’t you?”

“Lyn...” he started but didn’t finish.

“How can you say nothing is wrong?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to...I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Be with you.”

“You don’t love me?”

“I do love you Lyndsey. But not the way you need me to, not the way I thought I did.”

“So, this is it? It’s never gonna be like it used to be?”

“I’m sorry. I had fun this week, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t get Rayanne out of my head.”

“It’s only been a week Nick. Give it time.”

“Time won’t make a difference Lyn. I’m so sorry.”

“OK...me too.” She looked down.

“Come here.” he held his arms out.

She walked to him and accepted his hug, laying her head against his neck.

“I guess I kinda expected this in the back of my head the whole time.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose. It wasn’t planned this way.” he pulled away.

“I know it wasn’t sweetie. I’m just disappointed I guess.”

“Yeah.”

“But I can’t pretend I didn’t know you were in love with her. I did.”

“Are you gonna be OK?”

“Yeah. I’ll miss you though. It was hard enough doing this once.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. It just...different now. That same feeling isn’t there.”

“I understand Nick.”

“Was it for you?”

“Yeah, it was. But I know what you need to do.”

“That’s the same thing she said to me...” he said quietly.

“We love you Nick.”

“I love you too Lyndsey.” He stood up and gave her another hug.

After they talked to Brian and Lyndsey called her mom, he helped her pack for her flight that left early that evening.

*New York*
The day wore her out a little, but when they finally settled back in at home, Rayanne admitted she did felt a little better.

“Thank you Mand.” she said giving her best friend a big hug.

*Ring, Ring*. It was the telephone.

Mandy answered it and Rayanne went to put her new stuff away.

“Hello? Yup, just a second.” she said walking into Rayanne’s room, holding the phone out. “For you. I don’t know who it is, it’s not anyone I know.”

“Hello?” Rayanne said taking the black cordless phone from her.

“Hey Ray. It’s Manda.”

“Oh. Hi.”

“So, how have you been?”

“Eh. How are things with you and AJ? Still having fun?”

“Yeah. He took me to a play last night. It was fun. Oh, it was so funny tonight at the show, him and Nick ran into ea....” her voice trailed off.

“Yeah?” Rayanne urged her to continue.

“Nevermind, it wasn’t that funny.”

“Manders, it’s OK. You can talk about him to me.” she said sounding happy, even though at the mention of his name her chest tightened.

“She’s gone. I thought you might want to know that.”

“She is?”

“Yeah. Since you left...things haven’t been...well, certain people miss you.”

“Oh. Are you having fun being the only ‘newbie’ girl?” she laughing, trying to keep the conversation fun.

“Oh yeah...living with these 5 fruit loops!” Amanda laughed. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot since you left, I’ve been meaning to call.”

They talked for 15 more minutes, about what Rayanne was up to at home, and AJ mostly. Amanda didn’t bring Nick up again. Rayanne hung up the phone and walked back out into the living room.

Mandy was sitting on the couch watching “Friends”, their favorite show. Rayanne never missed it.

“Can I sit?”

“Of course!” Mandy said stretching her arm out.

She crawled onto the couch and rested her head on Mandy’s lap. Mandy put her arm over her side and held her tight as her body shook from the crying.

*3 hours later*
Mandy was in the kitchen making dinner, letting Rayanne continue her late evening nap she had started when she cried herself to sleep during ‘Friends’.

*Ring, Ring*.

Mandy didn’t answer it, figuring it would be for Rayanne, and she was sleeping.

“Mandy?” she half sat up groggily, woken up by the phone.

“Want me to get it?” It was on it’s third ring now.

“No.” she said falling back down onto the pillow Mandy had put under her head.

After the fourth ring, the answering machine picked up.

Hey, it’s me! Looks like ya missed me...poor you. Leave a message and I’ll call ya back eventually! came Rayanne’s recorded voice. *Beep*.

There was a silence and Rayanne was almost asleep again when she heard his voice.

“Ray if you’re there...please pick up the phone.” He was silent for a moment and she contemplated whether or not to pick it up. “Please. We need to talk. We can’t...Ray, if you’re there...” he paused. “I love you too.”

She picked up the phone before he could hang up.

“Hey.”

“Hey you.” he sounded relieved. She couldn’t believe it had been a whole week since she heard that voice. “You were there?”

“Yeah, listening.”

“I’m glad you picked it up.”

She smiled. “So...”

“Why’d you leave like that?”

“I thought it was best.”

“It killed me that you didn’t tell me you were leaving.”

“I’m sorry Nick. I know now that it wasn’t the best way to go.”

“No it wasn’t.”

Neither of them said anything for what seemed like an eternity. Rayanne finally broke the silence.

“So...did you just call to talk , or...was there a reason?”

“Ray, I want to give us another shot.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. “What hap-why now? After a week?”

“Because I realized something.”

“And what is that?”

“That I’m not me without you anymore.”

She started to cry, partly because she was sad, partly because she was happy.

“I need you.” he continued.

“What happened with Lyndsey? Were you together this whole time?”

“Yeah.”

“So...what happened?”

“It just...the feeling wasn’t there.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“Yes I did.”

“So, there was no feeling there but you slept with her anyway? See Nick, making love means something to me, I made love to you because I was in love.”

“Ray...I know that. I did it because at first the feelings I used to have for her were there. I won’t ever deny that, but after you left and we tried it...it just wasn’t there. Something was missing.”

“So, you were with Lyn and you didn’t call me all week-”

“Ray, please don’t.”

“And now that you’re not with her, you’re calling and asking me to take you back.”

“It’s not like that. You don’t know how badly I wanted to call you after reading that note. I just...I knew how hurt you were, and I couldn’t stand to hear it in your voice.”

“So you ignore me for a week and let me think you just don’t care.”

“Damn it Ray! You know I care!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t even know how to tell you how sorry I am.”

“You don’t have to. When did she leave?”

“Earlier today.”

“Because of what happened with you guys?”

“I guess. We had a long talk. I feel so bad that I could hurt two people I care about so much all in the same week.”

“What made...the feeling wasn’t there? So, honestly Nick...it wasn’t loving me that kept a relationship from forming, it was just ‘lack’ of feeling?”

“No. There was no feeling...but I thought about you the whole time. You have to believe that. I couldn’t stop letting you come into my mind with everything we did and everything we said.”

“So...why did you call again?” she smiled.

“Take me back.”

“Give me one good reason.”

“Because you love me.”

“That’s a pretty hard reason to argue with.”

“I know.”

Even from thousands of miles away, she knew he was smiling.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Will you come back?”

“Nick, I don’t know if I can.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“Yes.”

“Then why can’t you come back? I want things to be the way they used to be. Me and you.”

“I do too. But I just can’t be there right now.”

“I don’t know how long I can do this without you.”

“When will you be home?”

“Ten days.”

“How about I don’t come back. When you come home I’ll come to Florida.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Ten days isn’t that long.” she reasoned.

“It’s longer than it’s been already and I need you now.”

“Do you have a show tomorrow?”

“No, we have the next two days off.”

“Will you come stay with me?”

“You’re really think you can’t come back for this tour?”

“No, right now I don’t think so. Things could change, but maybe not.”

“I’ll come. I can probably leave tonight or this morning whatever it is.”

“OK. Hurry, I miss you.”

“You know I will. Let me find out when I can leave, and I’ll call right back, OK?”

“Alright. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

As she hung up she had a feeling of emptiness.

“I must really miss him. When I hung up the phone it was like...he left or something, I got that sad.”

“Yeah. I know you do a lot. Is he coming?”

“I think so. I need him Mandy, so much.”

“I know you do sweetie.”

Rayanne walked into the kitchen, sat on the counter and watched Mandy fix dinner. Just as they were fixing their plates, Nick called back.

“I’ll be at the airport at 4:10.”

“Tomorrow?”

“I guess it’s tomorrow to you.”

“Alright, I’ll be there. With bells on” she giggled.

“I have to go, I leave pretty soon.”

“OK, hurry here, I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I love you Ray.”

“I love you too Nick.”

“Bye sweetness.”

“Bye hun.”

She hung up the phone and let her head fall back against the couch, closing her eyes.

“So...?” Mandy walked into the room carrying their dinners.

“He’s coming. We have to pick him up at 4 tomorrow.”

“You guys are...back together...?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” she smiled.

“You don’t think I just took him back too easy do you?”

“Raybee, you’re in love with him. That means a lot, it’s different than any other relationship you’ve been in.”

“I know. And I need to be with him, it’s just...ugh, what happened made me feel worse than if any of my other boyfriends would have slept with someone while we were together. All they did was kiss.”

“But you know in your heart why it bothered you so much.”

“Yeah. But everything’s OK now.” she began to smile.

“Yup. Ray and Nicky.”

“Yup...I love to hear someone say that ag-” she stopped and closed her eyes.

Mandy stopped her fork halfway to her mouth and put her plate down. She walked to where Rayanne was sitting on the couch.

“Ray? Are you OK?”

She hung her head down between her knees and didn’t answer.

“Again Raybee? Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to the Doctor?”

“I’m OK.” her voice was muffled with her head between her knees.

“If you’re OK, then why have you passed out like 5 times in the past week?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I’ve been an emotional wreck.”

“And if you’re OK how come you can’t sit up right now?”

“Get me water please.”

Mandy did as she was asked and got a glass of water from the kitchen, returning to Rayanne with it.

“Here sweetie.”

Rayanne sat up slowly, her face pale. She took the glass cautiously from Mandy and sipped from it.

“There...all better.” she said quietly putting the water next to her dinner.

“Sure?”

“Positive.” she smiled.

“OK, don’t go passing out in your food missy.”

“I won’t...it’s gonna be gone in about two seconds.”

Mandy laughed and picked her dinner back up and ate a mouthful of salad.

“Turn on the TV Mand.”

*Click*. The TV flashed on and she saw Drew Carrey reading a card.

“Ooh! ‘Who’s Line Is It Anyway?’ I love this show, leave it.”

“Yes ma’am.” Mandy laughed.

”She’s a lifeguard...sing her song.” Rayanne got up to get more food.

“You ate awful quick.”

“I’m like, famished. This ‘near fainting’ stuff makes me so hungry!” she laughed.

“Oh my God Raybee! Get in here, he’s so frickin’ funny!”

Rayanne finished getting her food and quickly went back into the living room to catch the end of the song.

“Man, that guy cracks my ass right up the middle.”

“You crack my ass right up the middle!”

“Thanks!” She flashed a goofy smile at Mandy.

They watched the rest of the show in silence.

“I’m done, want me to take your stuff to the kitchen?” Mandy offered.

“Sure. I need something sweet. Can you get me some ice cream?”

“Yup yup! Anything for Little Foot!” she smiled.

“Thanks Ducky!”

Mandy rinsed off the dishes and loaded the dishwasher while Rayanne flipped through the channels.

“Mand?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you bring me some pickles with my ice cream?”

“Pickles? Sure...” she looked in the living room and gave Rayanne a strange look.

“What? I’ve always liked pickles. Why’s that so weird?”

“It’s not. Nevermind.” she laughed.

She scooped Rayanne some peanut butter cup ice cream, grabbed 2 pickles from the jar and carried them into to her.

“Thanks chicky!”

“Not a problem.”

“Ugh...it’s only 9:08. I have to wait like...” she stopped to do the math. “19 hours.”

“Aww...it won’t be that bad.”

“Yes it will!” she laughed.

“We’ll keep your mind off it.”

“Good idea. You do that for me.”

“OK, but you have to go to bed at a decent hour, I still say you’re sick.”

“I just took a nap for crying out loud! And Nick is coming here tomorrow! You really want me to go to bed at a decent hour?!”

Mandy laughed at her. “We’ll stay up until you can sleep.”

“Thanks.” she smiled.

“Your welcome Raybee.”

They made some popcorn, played Rummy for almost two hours, and watched ‘The Land Before Time’ and ‘Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion’ before Rayanne could even think of going to bed. It was after 4:00 by the time she fell asleep.

*The next afternoon *
They arrived at the airport only 5 minutes early.

“Stupid construction anyway.” Rayanne complained as they ran to the gate Nick would come out of.

Mandy laughed. “We got here on time, it’s OK.”

His flight was 15 minutes late coming in and Rayanne was getting anxious. When people finally started filtering out of the gate, she ran toward the door looking for him.

He was one of the last ones out of the gate, dropping his bag as soon as he saw her to pick her up in a big hug, the way he had the first time he saw her.

He pulled his head away and kissed her. “I love you.” he said, still kissing.

She kissed him back. When she pulled away she whispered in his ear.

“I love you too.”

When he finally let her go, he reached down and picked up his bag. He took her hand in his and held it tighter than usual.

Rayanne felt happy for the first time in 8 days. She had her Nick. Everything was back to normal.