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Joe Bill

Part Four
CHANGES I'D MAKE
When asked what I'd change, if I could live my life again. It caused me to think. If I had my life to live over.....I’d make no change. I like this one.

As a child I was privileged to live in the beautiful southwestern states of the United States. From Texas to California where I learned to love the beauty of the world. It’s Tuscan colors of earth and brilliant cactus blooms contrasting with blue, blue sky and snowy white clouds.

From the crows nest on the top of a ship, I’ve seen the top of the world, and saw beauty in nothing but white and green ice.

From the top of Pinnacles Peak while standing in one place, I looked across the San Joaquin Valley and saw the snow capped mountain tops of the Sierra Range. Then looked to the north and saw the fog surrounding the whole area of San Francisco Bay, or looking to the west, beyond Monterey, I could see the Blue Pacific with no ending below the blue sky.

I've been dunked in the ocean between two moving ships, while being transfered at sea.

I've jumped from a hovering helicopter, ten feet to the ground, then scurried down a hundred foot high cliff, over hanging swiftly moving tide water.

I've guided a ship into an ice flow in the arctic, (bringing it to an abrupt stop.)

I’ve been on a ship in a storm out at sea, deck rolling up to my face then the other way to the back of by head, while the ship plunged under two and jumped over one and yet, continued floating until we managed to come through the storm.

I've guided aircraft, heavily laden with people, to a safe landing on an airfield that the pilot could not see.

I laid on my back and pulled my hat over my face so I wouldn't see the nine hundred pound magnet, tethered, on a one hundred foot cable under a moving helicopter, strike the ground just ten feet from my head.

I've discovered love and married my love. Became best friends with her forty six years ago and still love her today, and feel life could not be complete without her.

I've guided youngsters in life and been rewarded by their success.

I've invested money, needed for other things, in a dream that failed.

I've invested all our savings in stock that busted.

To sum it up, my pluses outweigh my minuses. I'd love to do it again the same way.

Joe Bill

Part Four
WHY

When our Dad died, in 1942, he had been being treated for Tuberculosis. The autopsy revealed that the left side of his lung was totally unusable and that there was only the upper lobe of his right side that was still functioning.

So little was known about Cancer in those days. Was it possible that he died of Cancer instead of Tuberculosis? I have always thought so.

Then in October 1978, our Dear Mother died. Cause of death was Pancreatic Cancer.

In 1967, at age five, our sweet grandson Danny was struck by a car. He lived, in a coma, for the next twelve years, never regaining consciousnes. He died in January, 1979.

On January 23, 1983 Our sweet Sharon died from a seizure due to Epilepsy. A short two years later, medicine was developed that could do a better job of controlling the seizures.

In May 1996 we lost our little brother Daniel Little. His cause of death was cancer.

In November 2000 we lost our Beverly. She had developed Breast cancer that spread to all of her upper respiratory area.

During May of this year, 2001 our Daughter in law Suzanne was diagnosed with Breast cancer and is now being treated for it.

Now, August 8, 2001, our Daughter Shirley just had breast surgery and will begin Chemo Treatments soon.

So for me to ask WHY is not without reason.

Modern medicine has become so sophisticated during my lifetime, that I can’t understand, why they haven’t come up with a cure for cancer. It was fifty seven years ago that Dad died and they knew about cancer then. Billions of dollars have been spent since, on research.

I believe in God, although maybe not the same way you do. I believe the human race was developed to help maintain the equilibrium of the World. As were all animals and insects. We all have a reason to be here. I believe that something comes after death, having nothing to do with our bodies. I believe our souls will once again be together as that they must have been before. But I do believe our souls will continue on.

So that brings to mind the Lemming Rodents. When they over populate themselves, they hold a massive suicide. Is it possible that Cancer and AIDS or HIV, is a human method of restricting over population? Well, if so. Why doesn't it happen in China, and other over populated countries, more so then the United States?

Maybe now that the DNA chain of the human race has been deciphered, we will start seeing great strides in advancement of medicine and cures for diseases. Those like Cancer, AIDS, HIV, and Alzimers. Then even find a way to bring one out of a Coma. I hope it comes very, very soon.

President Bush just signed a bill that would let a partial type of Stem Cell research take place. Maybe not all we need, but at least a start.

It is now Feburary, the year 2004. All of this section above this line, was written two years ago. That was when we lost our little Beverly to cancer and then learned of Suzanne, Shirley and Yvonne. Suzanne and Yvonne have so far, managed to live with the cancer treatments.

But our daughter Shirly lost the battle August 2, 2003. Of the four girls we raised, I am now left with only one. My Dear Janice. Janice who lost her only son at age seventeen, after a twelve year coma. He had been hit by a moving car at age five and suffered with head concussion.

This is going to be the hardest paragraph I will ever write. Bar None!

One month before loosing Shirley, on June Sixth two thousand three, I lost the most Loved, The most precious and the most stable part of my life that God ever gave to a man. I lost my Beautiful Dorothy to brain cancer.

April 25, 2011 LOOK AT ME! I am still alive. The first three years without my Dorothy were total HELL. Most of what I did was in a stupor of alcohol. I'll not try to explain all that. I probably wouldn't get it correct. But I will say this; For you that think it's just a "flip off" to do without your wife. Picture yourself after having a lobotomy, both feet and your left hand removed. Still have enough ability to remember and want for times you no longer have. Now live a long life. My advise? Care for your wife. Protect her. Cherish Her and Love her for as long as she lives.

In 2006 I had an anaphylactic attack and ended up in the emergency room of Alta Bates Hospital. They blamed it on everything they could think of and then started changing all my medicines, stating that each one was the cause of the anaphylactic attack. Well, that went on until 2009, before my body became accustom to the new meds. That's when I decided that the side effects of one of these medicines was interacting with something else and I alone could find out what it is. During January of this year I managed to get the diarrhea and the overall body itch under control. (alcohol, coffee and copious raw vegetables) My energy has returned and once again I feel like I can try to live without my Dorothy. It's so hard!