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The song lyrics in this chapter are Pink's Just Like A Pill and are used without permission.

He had just fallen asleep on the couch in Buffy's living room when the phone started blaring. He'd gotten Buffy home, in bed, given her the antibiotics, called Red and told her to send Dawn to school with Xander as usual and collapsed. It was obvious though that someone wasn't finished with him.

He grabbed the receiver with as much tenderness as a disgruntled postal worker. "What?"

"Hello, is this the Summer's residence? I'm the nurse from Dawn's school."

"Is the Bit ok?" He really didn't think that he could handle all three of the Summers ladies being out of commission. "What's wrong?"

"Is her mother at home?"

"Her mother's in the bleeding hospital. Just tell me if she's alright."

"She's fine, she's just suffering from some menstrual cramps. She wants to know if she can come home."

"You're joking me right?"

"Would you like to speak to her?"

"Yea, put her on."

"Hello?"

"It's Spike."

"What are you doing in my house?"

"Did you think I was just going to leave your sister here all by herself all day?"

"Actually, yea. Look please, can you come pick me up, or send Xander or something. It hurts really bad."

"I'm sure it does Niblet. Just give me a second. Meet me outside the school, there's no way I can come in without looking like a
nutcase."

"Alright, I'll be right in front. Bye Spike, and thank you."

"No problem Bit." He grabbed his duster, the car keys and his old trusty blanket, which he flung over his head. Jotting a quick note on the back of an envelope on the table that he'd be back, he headed out the back door.

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She heard the door click, and his car back out of the driveway. She really doubted he'd hang around, although she was happy he'd stopped the phone before he left. As she lay there, she wondered how deep would she have to cut to make sure the wounds wouldn't close until she was finished?

Everyone slits his wrists, which is cowardly the more she thinks about it. Someone could find you long before you were ready for him to. One slice across the neck shows you weren't taking any chances; that you didn't hope to wake up in a hospital bed with flowers all over the room in the back of your mind. That you had no more use for hope.

There's something almost poetic about it too. Dying over betrayal and lost love. It shouldn't be. It should be repulsive and terrifying, but it lures.

She wants to feel it, the cool steel slinking over her flesh, perspiration beading with anticipation, the sting as the skin pops. What would it be like? And was there any way that it could hurt more than this?

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He pulled up next to the curb and pushed the side door open with his boot. "Climb in."

Dawn was standing, a stack of books crushed to her abdomen. She shimmied into the leather seat, quietly closing the door. "Sorry to make you come out."

"You lied," he said.

"About what?"

"You're not on the rag at all."

"I am so." He tapped his nose. "Oh."

"Yea. Oh."

"So you can smell that?"

"It's blood isn't it?"

"Ew. Are you going to make me go back in?"

"Well what do you think your mum would do?"

"She wouldn't know."

"Good point. So was it a history exam or rope climbing in gym class?" He pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic.

"They don't make you climb ropes anymore."

"Than what was it that made me have to listen to some woman use the words menstrual cramps, go out in the lovely sunshine, and miss Passions and my nap?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Buffy, you didn't tell Willow what was wrong with her when you called this morning? Do they even know what's wrong with her?"

"I'm not sure Bit. Just the chauffeur. She went right out in the car afterwards. You're going to have to speak to her yourself."

"Now you're the one who's lying."

"It's not my place. She'll let everyone know when she's good and ready to."

"What's the big deal Spike?"

"It's her private business. You wouldn't like it if she read your diary now would you?"

"No."

"Glad we have an understanding."

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"Can I turn on this CD? Janice lent it to me and I promised I'd bring it back tomorrow. I haven't even gotten a chance to listen to any of it."

"Yea Bit, just keep it down alright? She's still up there sleeping." Spike was sitting on the couch, flipping through an old issue of Marie Claire he'd found on the coffee table. "Is Xander taking you to see Joyce tonight?"

"Buffy usually calls him to set up a plan."

"Maybe I'll take you over. After dinner."

"You don't have to stay."

"I know. But it makes me feel better if I'm here."

The music started out of the speakers, a computerized keyboard or something like that and he heard some noise from the staircase. Lyrics followed.

Lying here on the floor where you left me.
I think I took too much.
I'm crying here, what have you done?


"Shit. Dawn, off. I want if off now!" He roared at her, bolting towards the stairs where a stationary Buffy stood. "It's ok pet. You're ok." She was white; not a drop of color left anywhere on her and he stood back a little, just watching her.

"Where was that music coming from?"

"The stereo Buff. It's alright." She started bawling, fat tears plopping down her face, redness filling her eyes and the tip of her nose. He walked over and took her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. "You're safe. I got you."

He rocked her there, leaning against the rungs and trying to ignore the confused and angry look on the littler Summers. "Why don't you go back up to bed. I'll be up in just a minute with some soup and your medicine. How does that sound?"

She didn't say anything, only nodded and wiped at her cheeks with her shaking fingertips. "There's a good girl. Won't be long."

Spike headed back down to the landing where Dawn stood glaring at him. "I don't like it when you yell."

"I don't like it when your sister cries."

"She's not just sick is she?"

"Well no."

"So what's wrong?"

"She's dealing with a lot right now Bit. And it's hard for her." He shuffled through the cabinets, finding a can of Chicken and Stars, which he threw into a pot.

"Riley hurt her didn't he?"

"What? Where did you get an idea like that from?"

"That's why you're here and he's not. She didn't even call him, I know she hasn't. What did he do?"

"Not for a child's ear."

"I'm not a child Spike!"

"She's even a child when it comes to this alright? Let it be for now. You don't want to know. No one should have to know. Now I'm going to go take care of her, use your headphones if you want to hear anymore of that. Maybe in a little while you can go up and see her."

"Tell her I'm sorry."

"Of course." He spooned some broth into a bowl, carrying it in his left and then the orange pill container in his right.

Walking towards the stairs, he heard Dawn from where she was sitting on the floor next to the island. "He forced her, didn't he? To have sex with him?"

He locked eyes with her. "You're too old. Stop trying to grow-up so fast, alright? You have the rest of your life for that."

"Is that a yes?"

He didn't answer her.

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