I'd survived the sunlight on my way from my parking space 3 blocks from the hotel. I'd lived through exchanging pleasantries with people who I'd last seen when I was trying to kill them or maim their friends. I'd persevered through four hours of research. It was true what they said, that you'd do anything for the people you loved. I hated being cliché.
Only Willow and I were left at the large desk at Angel Investigations. All the others had lumbered off to bed hours ago, in need of some respite from the increasingly repetitive text we were discovering and also of some shut-eye. Red had somehow learned to not need either. She hadn't stopped once since we'd begun, her eyes only leaving a book's pages to find another one that might be more useful.
Her bitten fingernails drummed aimlessly on the countertop while she flipped through weathered manuscripts, a teacup prepared for her by Tara sitting forlornly beside a massive pile of documents.
We didn't speak.
The moon was overhead; I could see it through the windows. Dru liked to stare at it, one of her many quirks. She hated that word, quirks, said it was like grasshoppers jumping from someone's lips. I thought about her then, if it were Dru who had died, would I spend every waking moment trying to get her back? I still loved her, that would never change, but we'd changed, we'd moved on. I decided that I wouldn't, it was probably for the best that way. No more college coeds in love getting eaten while they were snogging one another.
Red's voice interrupted my rambling thoughts, as she tried to be quiet and yelp in delight at the same time. “I found something, this might actually work. Goddess, we're so close if this works out like it's supposed to.”
“What did you find? What is it?” I leaped off the counter and was beside her in an instant, breathing quickly although it wasn't necessary.
“It's a spell. This spell could help us so much. Would you mind me using it on you?”
“Red, just tell me what to do and I'll do it, bloody hell, I don't care.”
“I have to put you to sleep, we'll need some roots and a few herbs, I have them in my bag. The spell will make you see Buffy. It should help us.”
“Witch, I don't need no damn spell to see her, she's in my bleeding head every night anyway.”
“This spell will help locate her though Spike, and show her how she is now, not as a picture your subconscious thew together. You have to be completely focused right before I put you to sleep for this to work.” She started digging through her purse, pulling out various vials and bottles. She'd come prepared.
She grabbed an empty mug from under the counter and began pouring in some brown powder with a bright green liquid. The stuff smelled like detergent, and a light mist drifted over the cup's rim. She was chanting in Latin, words I should know how to translate, but my brain couldn't process them at the moment. The haze was moving closer to me, and I began to yawn, which didn't make much sense, I didn't need to yawn. Why was she fading away, where was the light going? It was so warm and nice, but I can't tell temperature. It's quiet here.
My mind clicked back together while I was stumbling through darkness, which was strange, because I could see without lights normally. Suddenly, there was a flash, a burst of blue flame that was neither hot nor cold. It filled my entire vision, and when it finally fell, there she was, there was
Buffy in the middle of this cerulean fire.
She had this long, dress on, with belled sleeves and a low neck. She looked stunning, but not like herself. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, this mirage; it couldn't be real, in front of me.
I wondered if it hurt her, the flame. I screamed out to her, asking if it burned her, and she started to giggle. While she was laughing, she tossed her head back and when it fell back again into view, there were tears of blood staining her cheeks.
I looked away from her face, moving my eyes to anywhere but that awful vision. My eyes drifted to her throat where a cross hung, green arms with a ruby in the middle binding them together from a silver chain. Her arm had an upside down J embroidered into the sleeve in deep red. I couldn't tell if it was blood.
She started calling my name, and I wanted to run to her through the azure inferno that continued to lick at her body, but it wouldn't let me. She was fading away, and it wasn't until I opened my eyes that I realized it was Willow's voice calling to me.
