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Title: A Mile In His Moccasins 20/26 The next morning, everybody met up at the Magic Box for another round of research. While Giles immediately threw himself into the work, Buffy found it difficult to concentrate. She couldn't stop her mind from thinking about the night before. And that morning when they had repeated the exercise in a somewhat quieter fashion. Each was still a little awkward with the body parts they were using, a bit hesitant about some things that wouldn't bother them if they were in their own bodies, but the lovemaking was still exceptional. It was warm, and tender, and wildly passionate. But now that they sat at the tarot table with their friends, she kept waiting for Giles to make some sort of announcement about the change in their status. Either that or for Willow to blurt out something that would force them to blush and admit they were now lovers. Of course Giles made no such statement, and Willow seemed to have drunk deeply from the fountain of discretion. Nothing was said. A small part of Buffy began to panic that she'd dreamed the whole thing. Suddenly, she felt something under the table around her ankle. She jumped slightly and peeked over to see Giles keeping a careful mask of indifference on his face. She felt the movement again. A smile spread across her face as she realized what was going on: Giles was playing footsies with her. "Who gave you that happy, Buff?" Xander asked from across the table. "Huh? H- happy?" Buffy stalled. "That big ol' smile you had a minute ago. I thought maybe that Watcher whose diary you're reading might have something to do with it. Did he run across this beastie, too?" "Oh, that. Um...no, *she* didn't. No joy." "But you were smiling," Anya insisted. "It was...something other. Not Watcher stuff." "Oh yes it was," Xander teased. "Admit it, Buffy. It's Giles." "What do you mean?" She peeped at Giles who continued to bury his nose in a book, though she could see the color rising in his cheeks. "Come on, Buff. We're all feeling it. It's like old times in the library. The circumstances may be pretty freaky, but it's great to have the old gang doing the Scooby thing just like we used to. Of course back then, Giles wouldn't have been caught dead in a skirt, and you would have staked yourself before you covered that much skin with clothes of any kind, but still...it feels good. Makes me wonder where we lost this. Having Giles back - even if he's being more Ruthie than Rupert...we're glad you're back, Big Guy. Buffy missed you, y'know." "Yeah, I did," she agreed. She smiled warmly at Giles. He looked up from his book and gave her a shy grin. "Well, it's nice to be back," he agreed. "I missed all of you, as well." Buffy ducked her head to cover her blushes when she felt Giles' foot against her own again. Nobody else noticed because they had returned to their research. ***** The day wore on much as the days before it had. The gang engaged in research that seemed to lead nowhere. Various members of the group came and went as they were required to be elsewhere. Even Tara arrived to help, since Willow had informed her of the situation the night before. At last Buffy couldn't sit still anymore and headed for the training room. She needed to work off the frustration in a physical way. She was still pummeling the punching bag with everything she had when Tara walked into the room half an hour later. She stopped and smiled at her friend. "Hey, Tara. Taking a break from bookishness?" "I wanted to talk, if that's okay." "Sure," Buffy said. She stilled the bag and began to unwrap her knuckles. "I could use a break anyway. Giles is in good shape, but he's not exactly the Slayer." Tara went to sit on the couch as Buffy got herself a cup of water. "So what did you want to talk about?" Buffy asked when the silence had stretched on for several seconds. "How are you doing?" Tara asked. "Really?" Buffy thought about the question. "Really? That's hard to say. Frustrated, confused most of the time, mad at that stupid demon, but, at the same time, I can't think of when I've been happier. Having Giles back - even in this really weird way - is great. Tara, can I ask you something really crazy?" "Hellmouth crazy, or Buffy crazy?" the witch grinned. "Sorta both crazy." "Good thing I brought chocolate, then," Tara observed. She pulled out a bar and broke it in two, handing half to Buffy. "Go ahead. Ask." Buffy took the candy and nibbled at it in a distracted fashion. She paced the room, then returned to the couch and flopped down on it next to her friend. "Do you think I could be gay?" she blurted out. Tara blinked. This was not the question she'd been expecting from Buffy. "Is there a reason you think you might be?" Buffy stood and began to pace again. "I don't know. But...it's complicated." "Is this a Giles question?" "What makes you ask that?" "He's here and he's suddenly a girl. It seemed the likeliest reason you'd ask that. Besides, I saw Willow last night. She didn't say anything, but she was smiling way too much. Something happened between you and Giles, didn't it?" "You could say that," Buffy blushed. "You could say that a lot." "So you and he...made love?" "And how." "And you liked it." "It was...incredible...like nothing I've ever felt before. But he's a girl, and I never thought I'd want to be with a girl - no offense, Tara, I'm totally okay with it for you...it's just...I'm saying this all wrong." "I don't think there's a lot of right and wrong in this, Buffy. At least, not an objective kind. There's only what you feel. Do you love Giles?" "I never knew how much before." "Will you still love him when he's a man again?" "He's Giles," Buffy replied simply. "I love him no matter what." "And you don't have big, burning passion for, say...me or Willow or Anya or Jennifer Lopez?" "Again, no offense, but not interested. Especially in JLo." "Then I don't think you're gay, Buffy. You're just really and truly in love." "That's a relief," Buffy breathed. "Not that...I'm sorry, Tara. Again, I don't have a problem with anyone who is gay...it's just..." "It's just you want to enjoy the Gilesy goodness when he's back to being Giles again?" "Something like that." The two sat on the couch and ate their chocolate happily. "This is way better," Buffy observed. "Better?" "Than the last time I told you I was sleeping with someone. No more tears this time. I like who I'm sleeping with and I like how we're sleeping together. Plus, chocolate. Definitely the superior confessional experience." "I like it better, too. Happy Buffy is good. I've missed her." "Speaking of missing...you and Will. What's the what?" "There's talking. Some talking." "I know. But is there anything else I should know about? Any looking or, say, touching?" "Buffy!" Tara blushed despite her smile. "Hey, I keep on telling you, when are you gonna tell me?" "When there's something to tell." "Tara, do you want a piece of advice from probably the single most screwed up source in the world?" "I don't talk to my father anymore." "Okay, second most screwed up. As in me." "Buffy, you're not screwed up. What is it?" "Am too. And it's this: I know Willow hurt you, and I totally understand why you're afraid to get back together with her. I would be, too. But she's better now. And you guys just seem...so right. I know she wants you back." "So your advice is forget it and take her?" "Not forget. Just try to forgive." "As in 'love means never having to say you're sorry'?" "No. As in sometimes love means forgiving the unforgivable. Like Giles and me." "I - I want to. But I don't know if I can." "Just think about it, will you? She tries not to say, but she's really hurting without you." Before Tara could answer, the door opened and Xander stuck his head in. "Guys, I think you need to come out here. We found something." Buffy and Tara stood. "What is it, Xand? Did Giles find a way to swap us back?" "He's triple checking now, but he seems pretty excited. He completely forgot his tea in midsip." "That's a good sign," Tara said as she squeezed Buffy's hand comfortingly. *****
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