RABID URT
You canot kill the RABID URT! ANd we stil hav the most
!!!!!!
Welcome to the Rabid
Urt! We are an online Grorean tavenr, the tavern rules for the Rabid Urt! Here
are the ruls for the Rabid Urt! Okay!
1. We are not an NKZ whick means that
Ops will KILL all online persons by typing in caps!
BANG BANG BANG ! YOU ARE DEAD!
and kicking them out of the channel if you
say or do aything that anoys them. All Greoans who are reely kilt online are
xpected to act dead and play dead as realy as possible! We are
all adults here! We take this serious! No gamers!
1a. Dragonsshould all be leashed while
in the tavern! if you ar eplaying a dragon you must not leave your virtual dragon
messes behind we have no time to clean up after your dragon!
1b. The council of Greans meets once
a week to decide inportnat stuff having to do with our tavern! if you are not
on the council email to be on the council! No gamers!
2. Trainig of slaves will be offered for
three Ahn each Tuedsay night at the Rabid Urt which wil include everything a
online Grean kajira should know, namely how to type faster and basic PC repair.
The First girl of the tavern has the initials FiGi after her colar and everyone
will try to figure out what the hell it means. Redsilk gurls, who have showed
they know how to give cybersex will be required to put a 'r' after their online
colars. Yellowsilk girls who serve the tavern of the Rabid Urt will have 'y'
after thier collars and required to tell ALL patrons before serving the imaginary
drinks they serve 'I belong to the Rabid Urt, Long Live the Rabid Urt, Whoopee,
Do You Want Fries with That?' Purplesilk girls who chew a lot of gum will have
a 'p' after their collars. Bluesilk girls who hav bought lottery tickets tring
to get out of their jobs as checkout girls will have a 'b' after their collars.
Blacksilk girls who haven't washed their hair in six days because they've been
at the computer neglecthing everything else will be treated with absolute adoration.
Plaidsilk girls basicaly sit around a lot because they are weird lossers. Girls
with personalized license plates welded to their collars will be laffed at.
Whitesilk girls who are terrible typists or who prefer actual sex to typing
will be ignored. No Gamers! No Gamers!
3. The Rabid Urt is requried to have at least
one slave named "Amber" or some variation on
"Amber" in channel at any one time. If there are
no slaves named "Amber" then one will have to be temporarily renamed, including
the tavern Mascot, the Rabid Urt.
4. No Gamers!
4a. Absolutely no male slavs alowed! Male
slavs do not exist on Gro and wil be KILLED!
4b. Unless they are dragons!
4c. And they clean up their virtual messes!
4d. But not after 6 pm, Tuesday through Thurday,
on alternate sides of the street reserved for street cleaning.
4e. There will be a written quiz after these
rules. Be ready!
4f. Contact the Council about rules 4a through
4d! The council meets once a wek to talk about realy impotant isues having to
do with the future of the Rabid Urt!
5. Two drinks cost less than one but you
must drink them both.
6. Master's are always right!
6a. Even with the apostrophe's!
7. SLAVES are REQUIRED to kneel immediately upon
the entrance of any FreePerson (patent pending) and show their respects thusly,
head down!:
BOO shakalakaBOO shakalaka BOOM!
YAR shakalakaYAR shakalaka ZOOM!
Also slavs MUST beg to leave and beg to come
back in again, must beg to stand up,think,cough, pee, drink, eat, sneeze, breath,
and to kneel! And no monopolizing the channel with begging!
9. No Rule 9. Go straight to Rule 10. Do not pass
Go.
10. See Rule 9.
11. If y<6, and yz<9, then cos (8/1,299)
is 3.142431232.
12. White: KnxK (5e-4f).
13. Slaves are expected to show respect at
all times to everyone espectially FreePersons (patent pending) by prefacing
everything they say with really florid and long apologies. Remember,
if you are a slave, you are really sorry!
14.
15. See [ss. 13-21] for rules on general
conduct and disability waiver. If your annual household income meets or exceeds
$20,000, you may be eligible for a special 'Annuity Tax' which will tax you
more than if you decided to file your taxes in the ordinary way. Leveraged buyouts
will take place, increasing the flange of the motorpiece unless the flibbergibbet
touches the metallic box keeper. NEVER place plastic bag on head and inhale,
unless the Ops tell you to do so. Observable replacements and noticable improvements
will be required to file a work permit under the Noticeable Work Reduction Act
(1994), sections 13-99, and filed in triplicate with the municipal building
which no one can seem to find. It's downtown, right next to the funny movie
theatre and the marquee that looks like it's falling off. I saw a movie there
once.. now what was it? I think it was something like 'Out of Africa' or something
like that; what? Well, no, it really wasn't worth the admission price since
it's right next to the bus line and the walls were thin and the noises kept
coming in. Sorry. Anyway, after the movie then I decided to go get a bite to
eat and guess what was down the street? An Orange Julius stand - I haven't seen
one of those in about six years! Imagine, what are they doing out here? I just
though that was so cool. I heard though that Orange Julius drink mix has crushed
eggshells in it, do you think that's true? You never heard that? I guess it
wouldn't hurt you, you know, but that kinda makes me a little like nauseated,
you know, cause it's not just supposed to be in there. I'm what? Oh, sorry.
TO PULL TAB, grasp container firmly and pull in the opposite direction of the
top of the canister.
Aim away from face, and refrigerate after opening. IN CASE OF FIRE, break glass
with head.
16. This agreement permits
you to use one copy of the software, which is licensed as a single product.
The software is 'in use' on a computer when it is loaded into the temporary
memory (i.e. RAM) or installed into the permanent memory (e.g. hard disk or
other storage device) of that computer. You may use the Software on a network
provided you have purchased one copy for each user. For 90 days from your date
of purchase, we warrant that the media on which the software is distributed
are free from defects in materials and workmanship. We will, at our option,
refund the amount you paid for it or repair or replace the software provided
provided that (a) the defective software is returned to us or an authorized
dealer within 90 days from the date of purchase and you have completed and returned
the enclosed registration card. These are your sole remedies for any breach
of warranty. We disclaim all other warranties, either express or implied, with
respect to the Software and the accompanying written materials, including but
not limited to implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular
purpose.
17. No Gamers!
18. What does not kil you will make you stronger!
Gro is NOT FAIR, GRO IS NOT GENTLE!
19. No channel hopping, if you leave and come back
again after six hours we will not let you back in! If you come into the Rabid
Urt you must be prepared to sit in front of the screen and make lots of pointless
inane comments and insult the GAMERS and then you can leave.
20. No Gamers!
21. NO RETURNS without reciept!
22. Right turns permitted on red 7
AM - 7 PM unless pedestrians present.
23. Slaves who are found to have 'velcro
collars' will be banned, after really heavy cybersex.
25. See Rule #24 for a very imporant
rule you shuld never break!
26. None of these rules will realy be inforced because
the girls are realy to sensitive. The slavs are precious and delicat bunnies
that we love to chersih, like a cheaping chick, named Flufy!
The Fabulous Dances of the Rabid Urt
Impossible
Dance
This dance begins with the girl crounching in the
middle of the floor looking small, typing rapidly on her keyboard. Then she
sudenly leap up higher than the solid gold dancers or maybe nijinsky and does
a couple of somersaults and tripel gainers and aerial splits before landing
on one of the tabbles with her breasts heaving, on her dainty toe. How they
got on her toe we will never know. Seductively she looks back over her shoulder,
then turning her head, she looks back over her other shulder, than turns her
head back to look over her back and around and around and around and around
to the front again like a ball turret gun. Everyone is impresed.
Rule 26.
No double parking. The white zone is for loading and unloading only.
Sorority Party Dance
The slave lies underneath a big paga keg with her
mouth open. Then she stand up and rip off her flimsy camisk xposing her vulnerable
feminineness for all to see. She howls to the three moons which are really one
moon but she's been drinking so much that it looks like three: I'm
soooooooooooooooo drunk! Then she falls over.
Wedgie Dance
The slave begins this dance as if she were walking
kinda sadly through a magic forst near Cos, the slave girl mysteriously hides
behind a tree and tugs at her camisk, then resumes her walk. Suddenly a Master
blocks her path; she does not know what to do. He gestures that she face Him
and His mighty tool. She, aroused by a waffle iron that large, wiggles
first one way, then the other; He wil lnot be denied. He demands her honesty.
Thereby she thusly reaches around to her womanly bottom and retrieves her camisk
from riding up so damn often. His derisive laffter folows her thru the forst
hauntingly.
Crab Dance
A slave girl stands, wrapped in the paper
camisk given to her by a Physician, waiting for Him to arrive as He is already
forty ehn late for her sheep dip. Languidly, surreptitish- surrepticsh- surrep-
oh, never mind, kinda secretly she lets her hand creep down to her crotch for
a good swipe. Ashamed and aroused by her obvious itchiness, she sinks to the
floor and wriggles suductively, hoping vainly for relief in the form of cortisone
cream.
Rabid Urt Dance
The slav stands seductively hoping for a good chanel on cable TV, nothing
is on. After she flip thru about 50 chanels she stand sipping diet pepsi and
doing her nails. She sudenly see something out of the corner of her eye, maybe
it is a dustbal since she hasnt clened her house since she has ben at the computer
all the tim. No it is an animal. No it is worse, a big rat! She scream
and run around the room like a crazy woman screming and screming. Finaly she
get a basebal bat and pound the thing to deth.
Oh yeah, Rule 27:
No talking in channel. You are required to whisper gossip about anyone who comes
into the channel, forcing them to ask for a ping to check their server time
and see why everyone's being so quiet. Refuse to talk to the weird ones and
the rejects.
Rule 33: Everyone is a reject except you.
La Dree-Tos
A small, fried, yellow crisp triangle, made of the
golden Sa-Tarna grain and coated in the powder of rare, shockingly orange, Port
Kar cheeses.
Al-Ka-Spamo
A pressed cube of tarsk parts, served studded with
Urthen cloves to fool the mighty Warriors into thinking it is a real whole
part of tarsk. Served with or without its magical steel coating.
Beverages of Gor
Dar-Schlitz
A fermented, foaming beverage smelling suspiciously
of the urine of rabid urts. Served in peculiar, decorative canisters that have
withstood the centuries. Try to drink as much as possible to withstand
the dances.
Rule 28: Do not try to actually serve drinks to anyone in the tvern as this wil ruin the computer.
Ovaltine
Thick, dark and gummy, thinned with bosk milk. Provides
12 necessary minerals and Vitamin C!
My Master by littlelittle{BIG}
My slavery by littlelittle{BIG}
13.00 <BIG>knel, litle one
13.01 *littlelittle kneels*
13.01<BIG>All My life or at least for the last eight months since i have
not goten any sex they way i wante it, I have waited for one such as you. Now
you apear to me in a butiful silks and you are like no one else i hav ever met
on the computer ever. If we ever meet or if i see a pictur less than six years
old i promise i will mary you on the spot. Do you beg my colar.
13.03<littlelittle> Yes Master!
13.03<BIG> Very wel then.
*Disconnected from server*
13.24<BIG> Sorry got disconnected. Can you see Me?
13.25<littlelittle>Hello?
13.26<BIG>Hello... can someone ping Me please
13.27<littlelittle>Helloo? Master?
*Disconnected from server*
13.32<BIG>My little one?
13.32*littlelittle flies to Him kneeling spearding her knees wide with
her hed to the floor in tower nadu position
13.32 *BIG looks DOWN at her
13.34 <BIG> are you redy to chang your life slave girl and leave your
job and move to new jersey and become my slave IRL forever? oh by the way i
don't have a job yet but should get one soon
13.35<littlelittle>---New Jersy?! i thought you lived in washington
13.16<BIG>knel!
13.17*littlelittle kneels*
13.18<BIG> LOCKING THE COLLAR ON TINGHT.
13.19<littlelittle{BIG}>looks up at her master
13.20<BIG>SORRY got caps lock on
13.21<littlelittle{BIG}>Thank You, Master!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Disconnected from server*
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Thank you for your visit to the Rabid Urt!
Wei hope that yur stay will be fun and you will waste yet anuther six hours
of yr time you will never get back again you could have spent reading a book,
or cooking a meal, or exercising in the gym, or sewing a quilt, or learning
Portugese, or learning calculus, or painting a painting, or having a screw,
or giving a screw, or taking a dump, or reading the paper, or watching a film,
or writing a song, or drawing, or reprogramming your computer, or coloring your
hair, or planning a dinner party, or learning how to make yogurt, or doing volunteer
work, or helping a child finish her homework, or helping your wife with her
extra work, or repairing your radiator, or fixing the plumbing, or massaging
your husband's back, or cleaning the house, or writing a poem, or learning how
to write poems, or gardening, traveling, singing, planning a vacation, writing
your parents, writing your siblings, designing a house, contacting your broker,
roasting a turkey, trimming your toenails, reorganizing your closet, cleaning
out your bureau drawers, giving birth, trying to get pregnant, trying to get
unpregnant, making jewelry, making pasta, baking bread, retreading tires, sawing
wood, digging potatoes, refininshing your living room, refinishing your dining
room table, getting your car off the blocks on your front lawn, trying to hybridize
corn, dancing around the room, learning yoga, decorating a cake, learning genetics,
getting corrective orthodontia, polishing your nails, polishing the floor, rewiring
all the broken lamps in your house, replacing the bulbs in the hallway stair
lights, contacting your local volunteer agency, talking to your spiritual counselor,
relaxing in a hot bath, finding out what atoms are made of, helping someone
learn math, helping someone learn how to fold a fitted sheet, helping someone
learn how to read, keeping company with a sick person, reading to an old person,
making a horse costume for some children, or learning how to keep bonsai trees.
Oh well!
Read our Guestbook.
Check up on what your online enemies sa abot the Rabid Urt!
Sign our Guestbook
We wil use your respondses to track you down and insult you!
<
We ar curius as to homany people see the Rabit Urt! Here is a counter! OK!
Or mabye about the manie poserurs of Gro!
And then the other Gro
books &
stories we wanna see! More stopid slinging from thos who do not belive in the filosopphy! Or Glofers of Gro! And also stuff from Groeans themself!Or read even fanmael!!!!!! for the RABIDURT!!!
And finaly why not visit the home pag for those dissgusting filthy unrilated BDSM Masturs!! We hate those players and gAMMERS!!!!
Gud luck finding other Greean humor! There seem to be very litel of it!