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Handpicked by me... (ahem, I mean mouse picked) Click here to read the best of the best handpicked quotes by me! "The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating." ~Pearl Buck "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."~A. Whitney Brown "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."~Mark Twain "If you suck on a tit the movie gets an R rating. If you hack the tit off with an axe it will be PG."~Jack Nicholson "The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing."~Joseph Addison "The important thing is not to stop questioning."~ Albert Einstein "If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants."~Isaac Newton "History is a set of lies agreed upon."~Napoleon Bonaparte "If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack."~Winston Churchill "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."~Mark Twain "To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk."~Thomas Alva Edison (I'd be a good inventor) "If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."~Albert Einstein "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."~W. C. Fields "Give me a museum and I'll fill it."~Pablo Picasso "History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."~Winston Churchill "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self."~Aristotle "Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way."~ General George Patton "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."~Judy Garland "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."~Mark Twain "We all are worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm."~Winston Churchill "If you're going through hell, keep going."~Winston Churchill "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."~Ernest Hemingway "When you come right down to it all you have is yourself. The sun is a thousand rays in your belly. All the rest is nothing."~Pablo Picasso "We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in an ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."~Mother Theresa "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."~Jules de Gaultier "Understanding is a kind of ecstasy."~ Carl Sagan "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"~Abraham Lincoln "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself."~Napolean "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."~ Mark Twain "I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."~Winston Churchill "I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."~Albert Einstein "Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools."~Napoleon Bonaparte "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."~Albert Einstein "I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."~Ellen DeGeneres "Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.""~The Washington Post "Why do we have to die? As a kid, you get nice little white shoes with white laces and a velvet suit with short pants and a nice collar, and you go to college, you meet a nice girl and get married, work a few years and then you have to die! What is that shit? They never wrote it in the contract!"~Mel Brooks "People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?"~George Carlin "You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is."~Ellen Degeneres "I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"~Jack Handey Deep Thoughts "Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are."~ Jack Handey Deep Thoughts "As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it."~unknown "Regardless of the size of the program, you won't have enough hard disk space to install it."~unknown "To err is human, but it takes a computer to really screw things up."~unknown "If you hit two keys on the keyboard, the one you don't want will appear on the screen."~unknown "The computer only crashes when printing a document you haven't saved."~unknown "When all else fails, read the instructions."~unknown "Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted"~unknown "The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples."~ Valerie Solanas SCUM Manifesto "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."~unknown "Is there a God? Who knows? Is there an angry unicorn on the dark side of the moon?"~unknown "When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."~Mark Twain "It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right."~ Moliere "I wouldn't mind dying - it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me."~R. Geis "Nothing you've ever known is true. Nor nothing you've ever loved. You don't know if there's a Hell below you, or a Heaven above. The Truth, my friend, is somewhere out there, just waiting to be released. But before you embark on your great endeavor, know that you'll never return to peace."~Charles Edward Jaggard "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."~ Carl Jung "How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all colour-blind?"~unknown "I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center."~Kurt Vonnegut "It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."~Voltaire, War "When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is."~Ayn Rand "Every man is a divinity in disguise, a god playing the fool."~Ralph Waldo Emerson "Writing is the only socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."~E. L. Doctorow "Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers. ."~Cigarette-Smoking Man The X-Files "I assume that to prevent illness in later life, you should never have been born at all."~George Bernard Shaw "How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching."~unknown "You know nothing for sure... except the fact that you know nothing for sure."~John F. Kennedy "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."~Mariah Carey (Don't you just love her? *note the sarcasm*) "I will not tolerate intolerance."~Bob Dole "I'm always late. That's why I won't wear a watch. They depress me."~Trent (Daria) "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."~Robert Frost "Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions."~Albert Einstein "A musician must make his music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to ultimately be at peace with himself."~Abraham Maslow "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."~Theodore Roosevelt "All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience."~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Dammit, I thought that one was uniquely mine! "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."~Albert Einstein "Anything that doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."~Unknown "Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself."~ Plato "If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few."~Shunryu Suzuli "We're all fucked. It helps to remember that."~George Carlin "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office."~Robert Frost replace "office" with school and i agree completely. "We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors, and furniture polish is made from real lemons."~Alfred E. Newman "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back." ~Charlie Brown "It's paradoxial that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."~Andy Rooney "Life is what happens while you are making other plans." ~John Lennon "Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." ~Albert Schweitzer "Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify."~Ambrose Bierce "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."~ Thomas Alva Edison "There is a woman at the beginning of all great things."~Alphonse de Lamartine "The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."~Lucille S. Harper "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure."~Thomas Edison "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do."~Helen Keller "You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there."~Edwin Louis Cole "The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn."~Ralph Waldo Emerson "If you want the rainbow you got to put up with the rain."~Dolly Parton "What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny compared to what lies within us."~Ralph Waldo Emerson "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia."~Charles Schultz Which gets me thinking... if the world was to end on Y2k (aka 12:00 new years eve) then which time zone's 12:00 would it be? "Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody."~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~Louisa May Alcott "There are painters who transform the sun into a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun."~Pablo Picasso "Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."~Pablo Picasso "Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time."~Thomas Merton "It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all too prudent. Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model."~Vincent van Gogh "To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."~E.E. Cummings "I can't go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then."~Lewis Carroll "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."~Oscar Wilde "There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."~Oscar Levant "Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I’ll show you a man who can’t put his pants on."~Arthur K. Watson "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away."~Henry David Thoreau "Reality is more than the thing itself. I look always for its super reality. Reality lies in how you see things."~Pablo Picasso "Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality."~Theodor Reik "Lust is when you love what you see. Love is when you lust for what’s inside."~Renee Conkle "Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation."~Unknown "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."~James Dean "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed."~Albert Einstein "I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time."~Orson Welles "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."~Albert Einstein "Black holes are where God divided by zero."~Steven Wright "If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."~Carl Sagan "Never put off 'till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow"~Mark Twain "Ten years before it's time, a fashion is indecent; ten years after, it is hideous; but a century after, it is romantic.~James Lauer "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."~Albert Einstein "Memory is not so brilliant as hope, but it is more beautiful, and a thousand times as true."~Prentice "You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."~unknown "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."~Mark Twain "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched... but are felt in the heart."~Helen Keller "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."~Mark Twain "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."~Alexander Graham Bell "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."~Helen Keller "Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses."~Alphonse Karr "He who has nothing to die for has nothing to live for."~Moroccan Proverb "I may not believe in what you say, but I will die for your right to do so."~Voltaire "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."~Henry Ward Beecher "Art is either plagiarism or revolution."~Paul Guaguin "Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before."~Edith Warton "Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy."~Albert Einstein "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."~Woody Allen "Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."~Wilson Mizner "Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."~T. S. Eliot "Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."~Karl Wallenda "Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis."~Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God "The defining function of the artist is to cherish consciousness."~Max Eastman "When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap."~Cynthia Heimel "A dream is an answer to a question we haven't yet learned how to ask."~Dana Scully (the x-files) "The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."~Woody Allen "Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils."~Hector-Louis Berlioz "Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand."~George Eliot "In the depths of my heart I can't help being convinced that my dear fellow men, with a few exceptions, are worthless."~Sigmund Freud "I guess I just always prefer to see the darker side of things. The glass is always half empty, and cracked, and I just chipped a tooth on it."~Janeane Garafolo "I always thought if you worked hard enough and tried hard enough, things would work out. I was wrong."~Katherine Graham "Sleep is good, death is better, but of course, the best thing would be never to have been born at all."~Heinrich Heine "The only completely consistent people are the dead."~ Aldous Huxley "Life has to be given a meaning because of the obvious fact that it has no meaning."~Henry Miller "Optimism is a mania for saying things are well when one is in hell."~Voltaire "Know thyself?" If I knew myself, I'd run away. The flowers of life are but illusions. How many fade away and leave no trace; how few yield any fruit; and the fruit itself, how rarely does it ripen!"~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love"~Charlie Brown "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."~Zsa Zsa Gabor "I used to sleep nude--until the earthquake."~Alyssa Milano "Sometimes when I'm swimming, I think that maybe someday I'll put my red Speedo up for auction. Or maybe I'll donate it to the Smithsonian. They can stuff it with two plums and a gherkin and put it on display."~David Duchovny "If God dislikes gays so much, how come he picked Michelangelo, a known homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while assigning Anita to go on TV and push orange juice?"~Mike Royko "More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, that my friends, that is true perversion!"~Harvey Milk "The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform."~Dr. Alfred Kinsey "By nature all human beings are psychically bisexual - capable of loving a person of either sex."~ American Medicine, 1914 "In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation."~ Simone de Beauvoir "I've had long-term sexual relationships with both men and women. If that classifies me as bisexual, then I'm bisexual. I'm very committed to people, so when I'm with somebody, I'm with them."~ Sandra Bernhard "Everyone’s lonely. It’s just easier to cope with when you’re with someone."~Richard Fish (Ally McBeal) "The truth is out there." "Trust no one." "Deny everything." "Everything dies." "Believe the lie." "All lies lead to the truth."~X Files tags "We live, we almost die, we chase monsters, and ... we live!"~Gillian Anderson on The X-Files "Because you exist in your own universe, Ally. I was referring to the one the rest of us live in."~Georgia (Ally McBeal) "The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."~Becky Blake, from the Helpdesk Funnies "A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."~Becky Blake, from HelpDesk Funnies " If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."~Becky Blake, from HelpDesk Funnies "I feel bad that people think that "feminism" is a dirty word. I don't understand that at all, I'm proud to be labeled a feminist. I consider myself a person who has throughout my entire life stood up for myself. It's never been my ambition to be someone who takes a backseat to anything. I'm not a male basher at all. I divide people into assholes and non-assholes, and that's genderless." ~ Janeane Garafolo "But I always have and still do consider myself queer. To me, being queer isn't [about] who you're sleeping with; it's just an idea that sexuality isn't gender based, that it's love based." ~Ani DiFranco "If you're living a full life, pain is one of the colors on the palette... Its one of the things that makes you remember you can feel. One of the things. Humor's another thing. They all work together. When you negate any of these emotions then your not working with a very complex palette, you're just working with a couple of colors." ~ Tori Amos "I'm not a part of institutionalized religion because it's a controlling force that just keeps you powerless, and it keeps you away from what's really going on." ~Tori Amos "Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."~ Albert Einstein "I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose."~Clarence Darrow "Democracy is the belief that twenty thousand lemmings can't all be wrong."~Unknown "Organized religion is like organized crime; it preys on peoples' weaknesses, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate."~Unknown "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned."~Unknown "Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."~Unknown "Faith; noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."~Ambrose Bierce "When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite."~William Blake "For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system... We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."~Charles Bukowski "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him."~Arthur C. Clarke "Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."~Chapman Cohen "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."~Philip K. Dick "A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."~Albert Einstein "We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake."~Catherine Fahringer "If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing"~Anatole France "Not only is there nothing to be gained by believing an untruth, but there is everything to lose when we sacrifice the indispensable tool of reason on the altar of superstition."~Freedom From Religion Foundation "Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe."~Thomas Henry Huxley "Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate."~F.M. Knowles "Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness."~Fran Lebowitz "The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church."~Ferdinand Magellan "I count religion but a childish toy, And hold there is no sin but ignorance."~Christopher Marlowe "Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass; he is actually ill."~H.L. Mencken "I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time."~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche "Religion has caused more misery to all men in every state of human history than any other single idea."~Madelyn Murray O'Hair "We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing, all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes."~Gene Roddenberry "It is an interesting and demonstrable fact, that all children are atheists and were religion not inculcated into their minds, they would remain so."~Ernestine Rose "This above all: to thine own self be true."~William Shakespeare "I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock."~Howard Stern "[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies."~Mark Twain "The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."~Mark Twain "A man is accepted into church for what he believes--and turned out for what he knows."~Mark Twain "Truth in matters of religion is simply the opinion that has survived."~Oscar Wilde Life is life--whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage..." ~Sri Aurobindo (poet and philosopher) "If you could see or feel the suffering you wouldn't think twice. Give back life. Don't eat meat."~Kim Basinger (actress) "What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." ~Woody Allen "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." ~Franklin P Jones "Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century, were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester. It is not only the living who are killed in war."~Isaac Asimov "But that's what being an artist is -- feeling crummy before everyone else feels crummy."~The New Yorker "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."~Pablo Picasso "I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of."~Clarence Darrow "In the beginning Man created God; and in the image of Man created he him."~Jethro Tull "Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either. "~Joseph Fischer "Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."~Woody Allen "Labels are for filing, labels are for clothing, labels are not for people." ~Martina Navratilova Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you've never been hurt. --Mark Twain It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. --Mark Twain Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. --Mark Twain Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. --Mark Twain Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. --Mark Twain "You've got to stand for something or you will fall for anything" ~~Unknown When fate closes a door go in through a window. --unknown "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." --Ann Landers "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" --Albert Einstein " It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do." --Ralph Waldo Emerson " The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. " --Ralph Waldo Emerson "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." --Ralph Waldo Emerson "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."-Ralph Waldo Emerson "Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead."-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."-Henry David Thoreau "I mean how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't."-J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye "If the truth were to be known, everyone would be wearing a scarlet letter of one form or another."-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught."-Oscar Wilde "Got a garden of songs where I grow all my thoughts/ which I could harvest one or two for some small talk/ seems like I'm starving for words whenever you're around/ nothing on my tongue and so much in the ground."-Ani DiFranco "We live. As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."-Henry David Thoreau "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain."-William Shakespeare When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve. -- Francois Cavanna Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life. -- Oscar Wilde Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. -- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the imagination. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. -- Will Rogers I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple Black If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed -- Kate Halverson The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. -- George Bernard Shaw often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day. -- Vincent Van Gogh The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. -- Tom Clancy After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. -- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. -- Mark Twain Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign "I first met Anne and Ellen at last year's Lilith Fair. I had decided wouldn't it be fun to treat a small group of my female friends to an afternoon celebrating women. Now, it was a hot day, and it proceeded to get even hotter as we sat in the bleachers amongst the predominantly female, predominantly lesbian crowd. And I started to get my first feel ... for the appreciation -- I will say 'appreciation' is a good, safe word -- for what this community feels for the character of Agent Dana Scully that I play on TV. Now, a lot of people have accused Scully of being gay. She's single, she's strong, independent, she's a suit- wearing female who chooses not to shack up with whom some people consider the sexiest male on TV. And all I have to say to this is, thank you. ... Now as I said, it was getting increasingly hotter out there in the bleachers, and my companions thought wouldn't it be a good idea for us to make our way towards the celebrity safe-zone. So we did, and there stage left, right beside us, stood two fabulously sexy, fabulously entwined women bumping and grinding along with us to the Indigo Girls. And they were so open and so in love and so free -- shame-free, carefree - - that needless to say, I was distracted from what was going on on-stage and I kept peeking over at their bliss and thinking, 'Aahh, isn't that nice.' After a while, they took pity on my pathetic gawking and they tore themselves away from each other -- just for a moment -- to introduce themselves and we were, in that moment, initiated as friends." --Actress Gillian Anderson presenting the Creative Integrity Award to actress Anne Heche at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Women's Night '99, March 6. "The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -Benjamin Franklin "Talking about love is like dancing about architecture." -PLAYING BY HEART "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast." --Johnathan Katz "Siskel or Ebert?", Mulder (David Duchovny), upon finding a severed thumb, on The X-Files "1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the president. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin." --David Letterman "Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow and when I woke up, the pillow was gone." --Tommy Cooper "It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day just exactly fits the newspaper." --Jerry Seinfeld On gays in the military: What's the army afraid is going to happen if gay people are in it? "Private, shoot this man." "I can't. He's adorable. Blues eyes and that uniform. It's too much." I think the army is afraid of 10,000 guys with M-16s going, "Who'd you call faggot?" --Jon Stewart "curiousity killed that cat, but who the hell let the cat out of the bag?"~adena "The sexes are so different. Women go out and say, "Before I go to bed with a man, I want to know who he is as a person." Guys are thinking, "Let's get them in bed before they find out who we are."" --Tony Stone "God sneezed. What could I say to him?" --Henry Youngman "Never judge a book by its movie." --J. W. Eagan "I looked up Politics in the dictionary and it's actually a combination of two words: "poli," which means "many," and "tics," which means "bloodsuckers." --Jay Leno "if male homosexuals are 'gay', then female homosexuals should be 'ecstatic'." Shelly Roberts "When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt."~Henry J. Kaiser "If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room."~` Anita Koddick "The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet"~ Ann Landers "God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time." (Robin Williams). "Yesterday A Florida court ruled that exotic dancer must cover one third of their buttocks. Now if only they could pass the same law for the cable guy, we'd be in great shape." (Conan O'Brien) "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson "I stopped eating meat the day I kicked my husband out. I'm not hungry for it. I've always thought vegetarians surely must be asexual." ~Tea Leoni "Searching for a boy in high school- is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie."-CLUELESS "Humankind cannot stand too much reality."~(T. S. Eliot) "Some birds are not meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright." -Morgan Freeman, The Shawshank Redemption. "Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." -Christopher Parker "God is the name we give our conscience." -- Nader Shureih "To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge." -- Confucius "I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain." -- Jane Wagner "Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Thanks, but I really don't like to eat breakfast after lunch. It kind of ruins my dinner." -Daria [Jane's Addiction] "Are you trying to give the public eye conjunctivitis?" -Daria (The Lost Girls) "Don't worry, I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else." -Daria (from Esteemsters) "I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special." -Jane(from Esteemsters) "A good artist takes someone elses work and changes it and calls it there own. A great artist just takes someone elses work and gets away with calling it there own"~Josh Rivera and Derek Holzhausen "Don't steal: Government hates competition." -ECA- As you can see, this page is brand new, and I'm in search of hilarious quotes to fill it up with. If you know any good quotes, please e-mail me at hardcandy_9@Hotmail.com |
