15 Ways to be Annoying
1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money
2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call
3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you're a "spider person"
4) When attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: "Don't let him in! He's the killer!"
5) When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it
6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: "I hope I fixed it this time"
7) Beep when a large person backs up
8) Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the "little men"
9) Insist on making inanimate objects "dance"
10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public
11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it's full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds
12) When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car
13) Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster
14) While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises
15) Insist that life is "one big musical," then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public
Quick Wit
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them
"One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you." - George Carlin
Fun fact:
Why did Steven Spielberg name the mechanical great white shark from Jaws "Bruce" while filming?
Spielberg was getting a divorce at the time, and his wife's lawyer was named Bruce. Jaws
