She sat in the grass, peering into the water. It was cold beneath her legs, the blades carressing her flesh as she changed positions. Still she looked into the small waves blowing back and forth, the rippling currents of the lake relaxing her mind. She waited, not knowing what to expect. Her eyelids drooped, and she began to fall asleep. Her body slowly moved forward, towards the lake. Her legs began to unfold as sleep overcame her and with a sudden jolt, she fell forward into the piercing cold water. Her jacket pulled her further and further down, as the shocking cold forced her eyes open. She wailed her arms and feet with all her might, taking in gasps of water, and struggled to kick off her shoes. She managed to squirm out of her jacket, and kick off one shoe.

The small town Minneapolis park was deserted when the first signs of winter began to show, not even birds were singing. A young girl had come to the lake with an unmistakeable feeling of foreboding, knowing that her fate awaited her. She waited for hours at the lake, peering into the still waters. The wind began to blow, and left as sudden as it had come. She entered the park looking for her fate....she left, finding it.

Walker put down the paper, shaking his head. Such a waste of a child, such negligence of the park officials. He glanced at his own little girl, thankful that she was safe in the warmth of the small trailor. He could hear the sounds of his three oldest sons, rehearsing for their Christmas concert in Minneapolis. What the papers didn't print was that the girl had been an orphen, alone for Christmas. She had a dream of her parents and had gone to the lake hoping to catch a glimpse of them, wherever they could be.

Officer Willie took a deep breath as they pulled her body from the lake. He had seen the small child in the park a few times, but never with her parents. The site of her tiny lifeless body sent chills down his back, and he thought of his little girl at home. He looked at the ground as he pictured a man and women, warm in front of the fire, who would be getting a call the day before Christmas Eve telling them that their daughter had drowned. He reached up and wiped a cold tear from his cheek, and bent down to look for some kind of identity.

Markson stopped dead in his tracks, blocking the view of his oldest sister. He couldn't move, stunned by the sight of Alex laying stiff on the ground. He was in shock, seeing the horror portrayed by the phone call they had gotten only minutes before. His little sister, his baby girl, was dead. Her lips were an odd shade of purple and her arms were outstretched, as if reaching out for a hug. Suddenly he fell to the floor and began to sob uncontrollably.

Jessie looked down at her younger brother, knowing it was true. She couldn't bring herself to look at Alex's small body-instead, she knelt down to Markson and hugged him tightly, not willing to let go. He cried out "Our little baby, Alex, look at her!!!!!! Oh my God, look at her!!!!" Slowely, Jessie raised her eyes towards the limp body, and felt a surge lift into her throat. She screamed, not hearing her own voice, and passed out.

Officer Willie forced himself to keep a steady face, while he was boiling inside. When he found out that the three children were living on their own in an abandoned warehouse, he slammed his fists on the desk and wondered how people could have been so blind. Now that the two oldest were here, identifying their little sister, his heart melted. He bent down and covered little Alex with a sheet, and bowed his head in sorrow.

Markson was still in the hospital being treated for depression. Jessie had somehow brought herself to accept that Alex had drowned, but Markson still believed that she would be here to celebrate Christmas with them. Jessie sat still in the cold park, watching the water ripple and churn, wondering if the little pearls of laughter flowing within the currents were her little sister's spirit. Her eyes burst, not withstanding the pressure that had been building. If it weren't for her 9 year old brother who needed her support and love, she would have thrown herself in the icy waters at that moment. She slipped off a shoe and shuddered at the ice water that met her toes, and sat on the same spot Alex had been sitting in the day before, and let all the tears flow from her eyes.

Tay and Ike walked through the bushes towards the lake, still pondering at the article his dad had made all of them read about the little girl who had drowned. They silently wondered what it would be like to drown, to be sucked under and never resurface. They walked slowely in silence, for fear of disturbing the stillness of the park. Ike draped his arm around his younger brother's shoulder and hoped he could keep him safe, from the hourds of fans, from nature's evils, from everything. Tay wrapped his arm around Ike's waist, and felt safe in the shadow of his older brother.

As they neared the invisible monument where death had been only a day before, they could hear a silent sobbing. Ike slowed down and Tay took the example, so as not to disturb the girl sitting beside the lake. She was hunched over the cold surface, reaching deep into the waters, calling out a name. She looked about 14 years old. Tay remembered that the young girl who had drowned had only been 5 years old, and an orphen. She also had a 14 year old sister and a 9 year old brother. Ike suddenly realized that this was the orphaned sister, and she was here to join her sister. Before Tay could object, he burst forward and grabbed Jessie. "Don't do it! It's not worth it," he yelled. Tay watched feeling stupid, and went forward cautiously.

Jessie opened her eyes to see an older boy on top her her, telling her not to jump. She shook him off and brushed the dead grass from her hair. Ike gasped at her eyes, a piercing green, tear streaked, dirty, and bloodshot. More than that was the emptiness that went far beneath the surface of her eyes. He tried to imagine what she must be going through, but couldn't picture his 6 year old sister drowning. She looked away and sat up.

Jessie wanted to tell him that she wouldn't jump. She had to look out for her brother, that Alex had been the sweetest little girl in the whole world and God was a selfish man for wanting her all to himself, that she had loved Alex like her own daughter, but the words wouldn't come out. Still, he saw all the love, hurt, anguish, and loss in her eyes and realized she never meant to jump. He frowned and said "I'm sorry, I thought you were going to jump. My name's...." but Taylor had come up behind him. "Are you OK?" Taylor interrupted. But Jessie just stared at something far behind him, something he couldn't see. He felt sorry for the girl his age and sat next to her. "I'm Taylor and this is Isaac. Are you Alex's sister?" At the mention of her name, a fresh batch of tears formed in her eyes. Isaac nudged Taylor in the side and gave him a disapproving look. "We read about what happened...." he began, but stopped as he realized that she wasn't listening. She was staring into the water.

Taylor looked at her with awe and wonder, mesmorized by the aura of loss that surrounded her. He admired her strength, noting that she hadn't shed a tear since they arrived-although her eyes had watered a few times. The three sat beside the lake, entranced by the silence and tradegy of the young loss. After a long wait Isaac stood up and said, "Taylor, we have to go. We're eating Christmas dinner in half an hour, mom'll be mad if we don't help get ready." Taylor stood up reluctantly, wishing he could stay with Jessie and provide whatever company he could but he knew his brother was right. They walked a few feet, and Taylor whispered, "Why can't we ask her to come? She's all alone, and it's Christmas Eve. Mom and dad would be happy to have her." Isaac frowned and whispered, "I think she'd rather be alone." Taylor looked down and said, a little too loud, "We could still ask her." Isaac patted him on the shoulder and said softly, "Go ahead, I'll meet you at the Jeep." Taylor smiled and whispered, "I just want to help her."

Jessie waited until the two boys had walked away and started to cry. Everything she had loved about Alex, her sweet smile, the way she never resented their parents for leaving them, the innocence in her laughter, all showed themselves in the reflection she saw in the water. Jessie wiped her eyes as she heard someone approach her from behind. "We were wondering if maybe you'd like to come with us," a male voice said behind her." Jessie looked behind her, finally noticing Taylor for the first time. "My brother......" was all she could manage. "Where is he?" Taylor asked gently. "At the hospital," she replied, wiping away a tear and leaving a smudge mark in its place. "We'll go get him," was all he said.

Ike glanced in his rear view mirror a few times to keep an eye on the girl in the backseat, legs curled underneath her, looking out the window. This was the first time since she was 12, when their parents left, that she had been in a vehicle. The memories flooded her as she thought about how her, Markson, and Alex had worked together and bonded to create their own family. The way she protected her younger siblings, how Markson had always looked out for Alex. All she had left was Markson, and she wouldn't let anything happen to him. They would get through this somehow, together. They had already been through so much. Ike went inside the hospital and told the nurse he was here to get Markson, and went in the room to get him.

Tay sat in the passeneger seat, trying to keep quiet and give Jessie the privacy she deserved. But he couldn't help it, he felt drawn to the need he felt from her, the need for friendship and comradship. He turned around and watched her for a few seconds. He noticed the dirt caked to her shoes, resting underneath her bottom, and her fingers wrapped around her dirty arms. It looked as if her clothes hadn't been washed in a year. Yet underneath the neglect he felt strength, and wiseness beyond his years that comes from years of hard work. Her eyes bore into everything that had passed them on the way there, and he silently hoped he'd catch a smile before the day was over and he'd never see her again. Just one, tiny smile. 'She must be gorgeous when she smiles,' he thought to himself. Suddenly he scolded himself and remembered that her little sister had drownded only a day before.

Softly he said, "You'll love my family, they're really great. And I just know my parents'll like you a lot." Jessie looked up, trying to see through his masquerade. People always put up a false front in front of her and her brother and sister, but she knew how they really felt. They all felt sorry for them. But she didn't see any of that in his eyes, all she saw was warmth and hope. Hope for what? For the first time since she had seen Alex's body, her mind began to clear. What could he be hoping for? She shook her head and said truthfully, "I'm sure your family is great. You're very lucky."

Just then the door opened and Markson sullenly stepped into the Jeep. Ike closed the door behind him and walked to the driver's side. Jessie reached over and hugged her brother, and whispered "It's going to be OK. We're just going to dinner." Markson hugged his older sister back, feeding off her strength as he'd done so many years before, afraid that if he let her go then she'd leave him, too. "I'm so sorry Jess," he said. Isaac and Taylor listened, admired at their closeness. They realized that the two had been through much more than either could ever know.

As they rounded the corner to W. 78th Street, they saw far down the road a group of girls that had assembled in front of their house. Ike slowed down and pulled off the road. He turned back to explain to Jessie and Markson, "Looks like we're going to have to take the back route, we'll be there in a sec." He frowned apologetically as he backed up and Markson asked, "What happened up there? Is someone putting on a show or something?" Taylor glanced back and noticed that Jessie hadn't even glanced up from her lap. She still had that far away look that was becoming so familiar. Isaac laughed uncomfortably and said, "No, they're at our house delivering presents probably. We just need to be safe and take another way. Markson looked impressed. "You guys have a lot of friends!" he said with fake enthusiasm, trying to mask his carelessness. Taylor laughed. "They're not all friends." Isaac smiled and glanced at his brother, then tried to explain, "Some of them walk around the yard, try to get into the house, we've even had girls climb on the roof! And they take our garbage and rocks from our yard, all kinds of stuff. Especially around Christmas."

Markson looked in wonder at the crowd of girls, growing faint as they drove in the opposite direction. He turned his attention on the two guys in the front of the Jeep. "Who are you?" he asked alarmingly. He finally realized that he and his sister were in a Jeep with two strange boys, headed for a house on Christmas Day with no protection. He reached out unconsciously for his sister, ready to do anything to protect her. Isaac looked increduously at Markson. "You don't know who we are?" asked Taylor, stunned. Markson shook his head, speaking for Jessie. She still seemed stuck in her own thoughts. "I'm Isaac Hanson, and this is my brother Taylor." Isaac smiled into the rearview mirror in place of the formal introduction that never took place. Markson smiled faintly, but Jessie never acknowledged their presence.

As they pulled up the driveway Markson shook his sister gently. "We're here," he said softly. Jessie looked around and asked, "Where?" Markson smiled sadly and answered, "Isaac and Taylor brought us to their home for Christmas dinner, remember?" Jessie just looked around longingly. "Who? I wish Alex could've come." Markson struggled with a torrent of tears about to break loose, and hugged his sister. "I know Jess, me too, but they're waiting for us outside. You met Isaac and Taylor at the lake." Jessie nodded and opened the door, followed by Markson. The two stood inseperable as Ike led the way to the back door. "They're musicians," Markson said, hoping to catch some familiar glint in his sister's eyes. She too loved music. She just smiled faintly and said, "That's nice." Her thoughts were somewhere else.

Diana felt her eyes swell as she cried out, "Wonderful! I'm so proud of you boys, what a nice thing to do. We'd behappy to have them here. Do they need a place to stay? Are they hungry? How are they coping? Are they friendly?" Walker laughed and retorted, "Don't scare the poor children, remember they don't know us and they probably feel very out of place. Let's take it slowely."

The kitchen was laced with wonderful smells, foreign to Jessie's nose. On the huge table that had been set up in the livingroom was the biggest array of food she had ever seen. A beautiful ham was set up in the center, surrounded by mashed potatoes, stuffed potatoes filled with sour cream and cheese and onions, turkey and dressing, trays of biscuits all over the table, an orderly display of fruits and dressings, a salad with more colors than a rainbow, red wine for the adults, orange juice, raspberry punch and lemonaid and Pepsi for the kids, cute little forms of their own making, fried chicken, a steaming side of steak, and in the center of the table stood an arrogent array of the most elegant flowers Jessie had ever seen. And the silverware glistened, neatly set at each place, and polished to the shine. Jessie and Markson stood, close as they could without toppling over, afraid it was a mirage.

Two little girls came bounding down the hall and stopped at their feet. They were young, one looked Alex's age. The older one spoke first. "I'm Jessica, and this is my sister Avery." The younger one, Avery, smiled and reached out a hand. She seemed older than her age, and Markson couldn't detect a trace of shame in her voice or embarrassment. It seemed honest enough, and he took her small hand in his. "My name's Markson, and this is my sister Jessie." The little girl's eyes sparkled and she said excitedly, "That's my sister's name too!" Jessica smiled and asked, "Are you guys going to spend the night?" Jessie smiled apologetically and answered, "I'm sorry, we'll have to be somewhere later tonight. Officer Willie from the Tulsa PD is placing us in a foster home termporarily, until we can find something permanent." Avery frowned. "I wish you guys could stay with us," she said regrettingly. Jessie smiled and said sincerely, "Thank you, you're so sweet!" In truth, she looked almost identical to Alex, and her manner was exactly as Alex would have greeted strangers. She smiled to herself, liking Avery and Jessica instantly. Markson smiled to himself as he saw his sister open up to the little girl, but hoped the glimmer of a moment would last. Maybe Avery was just the thing.

Diana and Walker introduced themselves cordially, and again Markson detected no falsehood in their manners. They were wonderful people, he had decided. He could tell Jessie liked them too. Diana showed them where to wash up, while Walker took care of the Hanson children.

The three girls sat at the foot of the table, talking about what it was like to go to high school, how it was to be homeschooled, and Jessie talked of homeschooling her little sister. Avery frowned. "I wish I could've met her, I bet she was nice if she was YOUR sister." Despite the sadness knawing at the corners of her lips, she smiled at the young girl's compliment. "Thanks," she said politely and carefree, masking her anguish at the mention of Alex.

Markson sat opposite from Jessie, his eyes never leaving her face. He talked with Isaac, Taylor, and their two little brothers Zachary and Mackenzie. They told him of their band, and explained the rings of the doorbell that they left unanswered, and the constant crowd of girls at their shadowed windows. Isaac laughed and told him of all the girls they'd met and seen, and Taylor talked mostly of music. Zachary and Mackenzie tortured each other, but it was all in fun. And all of them seemed happy to have Markson and Jessie.

Walker and Diana sat at the ends of the table, telling the kids stories of when they were younger. The Hanson children seemed to love hearing stories, and Jessie and Markson enjoyed the feeling of belonging. The food was delicious, everyone ate and talked until they were stuffed. Even Jessie had come out of her shell and had laughed a few times (much to Taylor's pleasure), and Diana was happy to see the two young children enjoying themselves. It seemed almost as though they were a part of the family, and Diana and Walker hated knowing that soon they'd be on their way. As the food gradually stopped disappearing and bellies grumbled, Diana started clearing the plates. She refused her childrens' offers to help, and persuaded Jessie and Markson to stay and visit with the others, but she asked Walker to help begin clearing the table.

When they were alone in the kitchen, Diana implored Walker. "How can we let them leave? They have nowhere to go, and it's Christmas Day! And they're so sweet, Jessica and Avery adore Jessie, and Zac can't stop talking. Even Isaac and Taylor seem to know that they belong. And Mackie, God bless his soul, can't keep away from Markson! They need a family, especially after their little sister....." She trailed off, knowing she had gotten her point well across.

Walker stood, standing his ground. "We have to understand that they're still perfect strangers, and they probably don't feel too comfortable eating with us as it is. Let's take this one step at a time, and feel them out. We have to hear what THEY have planned first." Diana looked hopeful. "But it's OK with you if they stay here for a while, if they agree?" Walker sighed. ~7 kids already~ he thought silently. He threw his hands up, pretending to be annoyed. "I guess!!!" He smiled to himself and Diana hugged him gently, hoping that Jessie and Markson would agree to stay.

Jessie and Markson sat together on the living room floor in front of the TV, while the Hanson children sprawled themselves on matching couches and loungers. "I feel like I ate a horse," Avery said groaning. Mackenzie laughed and said, "You look like you ate a horse!" Markson laughed as Avery threw a pillow at Mackenzie and thought about how much Avery had been like Alex. He sighed and turned back to the television, not wanting the others to see the tears in his eyes. He glanced at Jessie, who was leaning against his shoulder with a faraway look in her eyes. He realized that coming to dinner with Ike, Tay and Zac's family did her some good. After she had passed out the day before she wouldn't talk or even make eye contact with anyone. He had caught her smiling a few times that night and even heard her laugh. He loved to see his sister happy and wished that he could help her, but it was something she had to cope with all on her own. The Hanson family had helped a lot and maybe when they left later the brother and sister could cry alone.

"OK, everyone get cleaned up, we're going downtown to Vacation Village. They're having their Christmas play this year," Diana said, hoping to get a positive reaction. Jessica and Avery jumped up enthusiastically and ran for the bathroom. Ike shook Mackenzie, who had fallen asleep during the movie. Tay and Zac groaned as they went upstairs to get dressed. Zoey sat sleeping on the couch, looking like a blonde angel surrounded by blonde, shiny curls. Markson shook Jessie awake, nudging her off his shoulder. He looked up thankfully at Mrs. Hanson and smiled, and she had to keep herself from crying. He was one of the sweetest boys she had ever met, so polite and willing to help. He laid Jessie's head on the floor and got up to shake hands with her.

"Thank you for everything, Mrs. Hanson," he said with a soft smile. "I don't even know how to tell you what a wonderful time we had, your family is so great. Maybe me and my sister can repay you sometime later on." Diana shook her head. "It was the least we could do, we wish we could do more." The look in her eye stopped Markson from apologizing for the inconvenience....he knew she meant every word. She suddenly reached out and hugged him, and he remembered the way his mom would hug him every night before bedtime. He hugged her back with all the love he had felt for his parents when they were with him and his sisters. "Please come with us," Diana implored. She let go of him so she could look him in the eye. Markson started to shake his head but she cut him off. "Just for a little bit, you don't have to stay if you don't want to." Walker came in and caught the last part of the conversation. "Please," he continued for her, "it would be so much fun. We really don't want you guys to leave until you absolutely have to!" Diana smiled thankfully at Walker. "Please......." she asked again. Markson smiled, giving in, and said, "Let me wake Jessie and ask her."

It was the same dream as the night before. 4 years ago, the night of the cruise. The wind was heavy and rain came stinging her face from all angles. It was midnight and she couldn't find her brother, sister, or parents. The captain of the ship was shouting orders at all the boathands, and one of the men told her to go beneath deck with the rest of the passengers. She was lost on the cruise ship and missed her family terribly. The storm had come from nowhere. She opened the hatch into the cargo bay, where her parents told her was the most sound part of the ship. Stumbling down the stairs, stuck in the dark cramped space. Groping, looking for a switch. She heard a baby cry. Alex. It had to be her. She screamed for Alex. Markson's voice replied. She felt her way to them. "Where's mom and dad?????" she cried hysterically. Markson's voice was full of fear. "They told me to bring Alex down here, that we'd be safe. They're still in the bearth. Stay with us, Alex is scared." Jessie yelled, "She's just a baby!!!! We need to find mom and dad." Markson tried to calm down his big sister, her voice was scaring him even more than the hurricane. "If we want to make it back to Ireland we need to stay down here with Alex! Don't leave us, I don't want to be alone." Dark musty smell. She choked on the dust. Her baby sister and little brother. They sat and sat for what seemed like hours, shadows dancing on the walls and lightening pulsating the air. Then it all stopped. The ship, the storm, the crying. Jessie had blacked out. Then as suddenly as the rain stopped, they were talking to another man from another ship. Something about how they shouldn't be down there. The rest of the passengers had taken life boats to somewhere in Cuba, and the lifeboats had all sunk. The vessel they were on had drifted to the American continent somewhere in Texas, they were the only survivors of the storm. Alone, in a cargo bay. Suddenly she was being shaken. She opened her eyes and saw Markson shaking her awake, with Mr. and Mrs. Hanson standing to his left.

Markson held Jessie's hand all the way to Vacation Village. After she had such a violent fit when she woke up, Diana and Walker wouldn't allow them to leave and thought it would be best if she stayed with Markson. The Hanson children all sang Christmas carols, with Mackie occassionally interrupting a few notes above the chords. Jessie sat with her head on Markson's shoulder, not knowing where they were going and not caring. All she wanted was Alex.

Taylor sat in the back of the van, right behind Jessie. His heart ached at the thought of what she must have been going through.....several times that night his eyes had watered when he thought of losing his own sister. It was unbearable to watch Jessie sit and stare emptily into space, with a look of sinister nothingness in her eyes. He jumped up as Avery unbuckled her seat belt at the red light and grabbed her. "Avie, watch it girl. Go put your seatbelt back on," he said gently. Avery looked at him with remorse in her disappointed eyes, but she sat back down like he told her. Taylor felt bad at yelling at his baby sister, but he was especially scared of anything happening to her tonight. He was on edge.

Officer Willie knocked once more as the wind cut his face sharply. He pulled his jacket up over his ears and, with a somber face, turned and headed back down the Hanson family driveway. The snow began to fall gently as a group of girls standing out on the sidewalk saw the policeman and hid behind a big orange rock. But he didn't notice the girls, or the biting coolness of the snow that landed on his police cap. He was thinking about the call they had received from Mrs. Hanson 10 minutes before. She had told them that Jessie and Markson were at their house, taken care of for the night, but no one was home. The officer sniffed back a runny nose and piled into the warmth of the police unit. He ignored the group of giggling girls behind the Hanson rock.

The policeman turned off the crackling radio and turned towards his unit with a secret smile tugging at his lips. He would forget about putting Jessie and Markson in a foster home, he would let the law go for once. He knew they were finally in good hands.

Mr. and Mrs. Hanson glanced towards the back of the van at all the sleeping children. Diana sighed and rested her head on Walker's shoulder. "Who would have thought," she whispered, "that this would ever happen to a family of 9?" Walker chuckled and gently laid a hand on his wife's head.

"Do you think they'll be happy?" he asked, keeping an eye on the road.