"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
*I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.

"I'm not used to these darts."
*I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

"Lets go out to my car and get some cigarettes." (male to female)
*You would look great face down in my lap.

"You get this one, next round is on me."
*We won't be here long enough to get another round.

"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
*Happy hour is about to end....now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

"I haven't seen you around here for a long time."
*You stuck up little b*tch, too good for your old friends??

"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
*I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

"Lets get out of here."
*I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.

"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female)
*I'm easy.

"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male)
*I'm gay.

"Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
*I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
*If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?

"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
*You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

"I don't feel well, lets go home." (male)
*I'm horny.

"I've had like 10 beers already."
*I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

"Who's got the next round?"
*I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

"Excuse Me." (male to male)
*Get the f*ck out of the way.

"Excuse Me." (male to female)
*I am going to grope you now.

"Excuse Me." (female to male)
*Don't even think about groping me, just get the f*ck out of the way.

"Excuse Me." (female to female)
*Move your fat @ss. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho...Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, b*tch, like the slut you are.

"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning."
*I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.

"What do you have on tap?"
*What's cheap?

"You go ahead, I'll catch a cab."
*I already lined up a ride home with your "ex".

"That person looks really familiar."
*Did I sleep with him/her?

"Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)
*I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.

"Can I just get a glass of water?" (male)
*It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking ? hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, it is the least you can do for me.

"Do you have any Wild Turkey?"
*I want to make my friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning.

"I don't have my ID on me." (female)
*I'm 19.

"I don't have my ID on me." (male)
*I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .32 after my last visit here.