People can be sh*t-headed, sh*t-brained, sh*t-blinded, and sh*t-over. Some people are big sh*ts; some are little sh*ts. Some people know their sh*t, while others can't tell the difference between sh*t and shineola.

There are lucky sh*ts, dumb sh*ts, crazy sh*ts, and sweet sh*ts. There is bull sh*t, dog sh*t, cat sh*t, bird sh*t, whale sh*t, rat sh*t, and horse sh*t. There is tough sh*t, hard sh*t, soft sh*t, slimy sh*t, rough sh*t, and limp sh*t. You can sh*t a blue streak, sh*t bricks, sh*t pink twinkies, sh*t marbles, sh*t bullets, sh*t your guts out, or even shi* your brains out.

You can throw sh*t, sling sh*t, catch sh*t, or duck when the sh*t hits the fan. You can take a sh*t, give a sh*t, keep sh*t or serve sh*t on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep sh*t, or be happier than a pig in sh*t.

Some days are colder than sh*t, some days are hotter than sh*t, and some days are just plain sh*tty. There is funny sh*t and sad sh*t, bad sh*t and good sh*t. Some sh*t doesn't stink, while other things really smell like sh*t. Some music sounds like sh*t, things can look like sh*t, and there are times when you feel like sh*t. You can be faster than sh*t or you can be slower than sh*t. Sometimes you'll find sh*t on a stick, sometimes you'll find sh*t everywhere, and then there are times when you can't find sh*t at all. You can have too much sh*t, not enough sh*t, the right sh*t, the wrong sh*t or a lot of weird sh*t.

You can carry sh*t in a bucket, put sh*t in a barrel, have a pile of sh*t, have a mountain of sh*t, have a river of sh*t, or find yourself up sh*t's creek without a paddle. You can slice sh*t, spread sh*t, dunk sh*t or jump sh*t. Some people just can't cut the sh*t.

There is fun sh*t and dull sh*t, silly sh*t and serious sh*t. Sometimes you really need this sh*t, and sometimes you don't want any sh*t at all. You can stir sh*t, kick sh*t, or stick your ass out the window and sh*t on the world. Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh*t, and other times you swim in a lake of sh*t and come out smelling like a rose. Sh*t!

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation. This means the universe did not begin with a BIG BANG but, rather, with a BIG DUMP. Keep that in mind the next time you flush the toilet. And remember, once you know your sh*t, you don't need to know anything else.