You're obsessed with wrestling if...

- Every time you watch the movie 2001 you wonder why Flairnever sued them for stealing his music
- You wonder if the wrecks in Nascar are works
- In a political debate at your school, you call Bob Dole a face, Al Gore a heel and Bill Clinton a tweener
- In your resume under experience you write "I'm the bestthere is the best there was and the best there ever will be"
- You carry a roll of tape in your underwear "just incase"
- You have a turkey vulture for a pet
- You buy the latest Sting album wondering how he can sing is hecan't even talk
- You suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heelturn
- You make the football team & instead of ordering a letterjacket you wear a Flair robe with your schools logo to classthereafter
- Go through an airport security line and you let them checkeverything except your boots....
- You pose in a photo with a few frinds and instintively flashthe "Four Horsemen"sign.
- You begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesistateto look for the crowd's response.
- You get into a real fight, and you blade.
- You do the "Flair Strut" into a meeting at work....
- When you talk to the boss, every other phrase is "Wooooo!"...
- You are at work, and accidently slip and fall against a tableor chair, and wonder if you should "blade"...
- Your boss calls you in for a meeting on cutbacks, and youinsist on talking about YOUR workrate .....
- You go to shake someone's hand at work, and pull back at thelast second to smooth down your hair and say "Woooooo!!!"....
- Someone else falls against a table/chair... and you startscreaming "You're extreme! You're extreme!"
- During someone's retirement ceremony, you are asked to speak...you get up and talk about the person's average size, averagespeed, average carpentry skills... and then talk about how heparlayed it into a great career.... you then talk about how hecan't even open a beer anymore with his left hand... and thenproceed to tell a story about a fat broad slapping him on theback in a bar after work...etc.. etc.."
- You scream at the top of your lungs and you don't know why :)
- You start off every conversation with " ooooooooooh, whata rush "
- You die you mustache blond while leaving your beard black.
- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back
- You constantly deny that Brian Christopher is your son
- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back. Afterthat, he backstabs all his friends and you let him into yourgroup.
- Your job is your gimmick
- Someone you work with leaves for another job, with more money, you accuse them of being disloyal to the fed that made them astar.
- A promotion at work is seen as getting a push.
- Your first reaction on seeing the Diana crash was "She'shardcore"
- Every secret is "kayfabe".
- You claim that your favorite sports teams were "jobbed".
- You call any kind of fan a "mark".
- You flex in front of every mirror.
- You and your friends develop a secret hand signal.
- You won't go into a pet store for fear of lemmings.
- You post to RSPW.
- You chokeslam your cat.
- You rack your neighbor's dog.
- If you feel the need to do a Flair impersonation before goingon Space Mountain. (Has anyone here ever done this.)
- You never sit in any chairs without checking them (ala wwf bluechair) or wcw balsa wood chair;for fear your weight mightcollaspe it.
- You tell your cat "Meow one more time, and you can forgetthe 'Fancy Feast' man, 'cause I'll open up a can of 'Whoop Ass' and see how you like the taste of that!"
- You see an American flag, and immediately cross your eyes, stick your tongue out, give a big thumbs up and yell, "HOOOOOO!!! Tough guy!"
- You dream about splashing your boss from the top of yourcubicle walls.
- You win an award and immediately spray paint "nWo" onit.
- You rate women on a scale of Chyna to Sunny.
- You attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays.
- You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'mwatching [Raw/Nitro]"
- You start your own e-fed... with you as the only participant, and then try to out-book McMahon and Bischoff.
- You buy your four year old daughter a Ric Flair doll instead ofKen to go with her Barbie collection
- You wake up in the morning irsing from the dead like theUndertaker rather than just rolling out of bed
- Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily itmight break if you were to moonsault it.
- You buy a HBK doll to go with Ken
- You clothsline people in the supermarket for no real reason.
- You t-bone suplex your kids to bed
- You greet your in-laws by jumping around pointing to yourcrotch ala Syxx.
- You walk around with a towel on your head and you wipe yourfeet on invisible mats before you enter any room
- You shatter your knee-cap giving your friend a TombstonePiledriver on concrete
- You're not embaressed anymore to go into a store and rent awrestling video.
- You won't leave the bathroom until they play your theme music.
- You walk into a party you tell them to "cut themusic"
- You walk into a bar and barge in the middle of a group ofMexicans talking and shout "Arriba La Raza!"
- You get into a public place and, for some sort of things youhear some people booing at something and you think they're booingat you and you start yelling at the people to shut up.
- You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the threecount
- You start naming your pets after wrestlers. I.E. We have a catnamed Kitty Kind and a new puppy named Dude Dog.
- You're getting busy with your woman, and for some reason it'snot as good as it usually is, so you start chanting "BO-RING, BO-RING"... and you figure it's got somethingto do with her workrate
- You borrow $50,000 from the bank & start a carpentrybusiness, & make all your chairs out of balsa & yourtables weak in the middle in hopes that the PE will hear & subcontract out to you.
- You give the AA thumb across the throat bit to your boss whengoing in for job reviews.
- You wear Macho Man sunglasses during job interviews. (Actuallydid this once,((homemade glasses of course)) after finding outthe company sucked after I had made the appointment.)
- For a Christmas present, you give your mom a pair of ringboots.
- You actually believe in your heart of hearts that the "Flair Flip" will work everytime he tries it, & cryyourself to sleep when it doesn't.
- You think Lady Di is probably really dead, but that MotherTheresa might be doing a really convincing work.
- You think John the Baptist Bladed.
- You try to convince your friends that regular sports are works, & wrestling is not.
- Whenever a limo goes by, you shout Woooooo hoping for aresponse from "The Man".
- You are late for work every Tuesday, cause you have to watchthe tapes from the previous night again "just 1 moretime".
- You climb chain-link fences and do Superfly Splashes off them-- in your sleep...
- You find yourself singing Grab them cakes and Real American
- Your four year old gives the Superfly sign before she jumps onyou
- Your first instinct was that Holyfield bled the hardway versusTyson
- You keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches
- While cleaning the garage you find old wooden chairs and firstthink of Afa jobbing to Atlas and Johnson
- You buy your fat mother-in-law some yellow polka dot "Dusty Rhodes"shorts.
- A trip to the barber with your friends turns into a "hairvs. hair match".
- Your loved one hits the switch at night and you attack, thinking it's a "lights out Texas death match".
- You wear a robe and tights to your job at Wendy's.
- You post a million times to RSPW about how much better you arethan everyone else.
- You throw a coke at Eric Bischoff/nWo and ......it hits the TVscreen.
- You think a fashion statement is a black trench coat
- You come up with move named "the atomic elbow drop" which is executed off the 3 meter spring board at a swimming pool (have to get the extreme height)
- Your wife asks to try out a move on YOU after just seeing itdone on TV.
- Your wife makes you sit on the end of the bed/swimming pool topractice her flying cross body move since you don't have a realring.
- You are talking to a car sales person and they mention leatherinterior and all you can think of is Hogan without any skin.
- You see the clown at McDonalds and can only think of Doink andDink.
- Your wife calls you the "Living Legend", but evenbetter when she calls you Jake "the Snake" and yourname ain't Jake!
- You watch Star Search standup comedy acts, and say the firstguy had a good workrate, but the second guys was as good withhigh spots galore. Then you say this battle was a 4 star match, but Ed McMahon's a terrible
announcer and the crowd had minimal heat.
- Before you leave your friends yard, you take his head and slamhis chain link fence on it.
- You feel obliged to leave a restaraunt with two toothpicks (onein mouth, one behind the ear) and do your best Scott Hallimpersonation.
- You win a fight and afterwards you start posing
- You were a kilt even though your not from Scotland after sexyou tell your loved one "I'm the best there was the bestthere is and the best there ever will be" or "and nowthat's perfect"
- At the moment of a orgasim you say "oh Yeah dig it"
- After sex, you say "and thats the bottom line"
- When eating someplace were you don't like the food you say "I snack on danger I dine on death"
- You think Godzilla will be played by Yokozuna
- You think earthquakes are caused by John Tenta
- You call the doctors office asking for ether Dr.Death SteveWilliams or Dr.Tom Pritchard and for a dentist you ask for IssacYankum DDS.
- You complain because your lover had a low workrate and feel youcarried her/him through it.
- You think Elvis being dead is a angle
- You call yourself "Immortal"
- You have a fight but charge people to watch it.
- You start hi-fiving people you don't know
- After winning a fight you say "(insert name)3:16 justwhipped your ass"
- You give up on ever getting a girlfriend because you areconvinced that all of the finest women are at disney worldwaiting in line to ride space mountain.
- At a sporting event that foreign countries are competing youyell USA USA.
- At a boxing fight you tell everyone to stop marking out causeit's just an angle.
- Whenever you see an african-american you give the nation "fist in the air"sign.
- When a female says she's going to put on her face and youexpect Sting paint or a mask to be worn when they get back.
- Your significant other buys you a plastic WCW World Champ beltand you actually wrestle to be able to declare who the "Champ" of the house is!
- You buy colored hair spray and pick out theme music for theabove said match!
- You play "name that wrestler" like you play "name that tune" in as few notes from their theme musicas possible.
- You start noticing that the "sons" of guys you usedto watch in the 70's are now some of the stars. (dory & terryfunk)
- You vividly remember the first time you ever met a wrestleroutside of the venu in public.
- You remember when both you and Arn Anderson had hair!
- McMoney talks about a black champ and you mention Rufus R.Jones in under 3 seconds. (saw him in early 70's)
- You call your buddy on the phone before/durning/after any tvwrestling show and discuss it for at least 30 minutes in completedetail including how all of the events will tie together at someppv that has not even been booked.
- You make vacation plans as to not to miss any wrestling if a tvwith proper channels is not accessable
- Your three year old says "Daddy, let's play WCW"
- You spit out your gum and slap it
- You punch your friends, but stomp the ground to make it soundlouder.
- You call yourself a "Jet flyin', limosine riding, son of agun."
- You ask a girl out by telling her she wants to ride spacemountain.
- You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason
- You walk down the hallway of school like the bushwackers.
- Before turning off a light/TV/computer you give the sign for aFlatliner.
- You carry around a portable tape player for entrance music.
- You finish every sentence with 'Whooo!'
- You sit at home all day refusing to do a job.
- Every time you write an exam, you tell the professor thatyou're the highest ranking official, and if you don't get an A, he's suspended.
- Whenever you pass through customs, you tell the Controller youare from "Parts Unknown".
- You go from town to town, making new groups of friends everyfew months, just so you can shock them by turning "NWO".
- You carry a roll of tape in every concievable piece ofclothing..."Just In Case"
- Whenever someone accidentally knocks you down in a publicplace, you shout "Come On Ref! He pulled My Hair!"
- At Sunday dinner, you only get to eat if you "TagIn".
- You carry a foriign object in your underwear.
- When you don't have ana ssignment completed, no attack yourteacher/boss to get yourself intentionally disqualified.
- You offer a briefcase full of money to someone to turn on hisbest friend.
- You offer $10,000 to anyone who can bodyslam you.
- You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cagegrudge match could settle things.
- Your bathrobe has your name on the back, in sequins.
- You carry a 2x4 and American flag everywhere, call everyone "tough guy" and puncuate every sentence with "HOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put themin a sleeper.
-When you do well on an exam, you stand up and yell, "TooSweeeeeeetttt!"
-After an exam, when the professor tells you to hand in yourpapers, you inform him "The only thing I'm going to hand into you is a can of whoop ass, son!"
-You refer to studying as academic "hangin' andbangin'" and you tell people how you "hung andbung" all weekend
-When you go out with your girlfriend to the movies, and you'relooking for a seat, you say "<insert girlfriends namehere>! Down that aisle!"
-When your professor messes up during a lecture, you call him a "ham 'n' egger who only got a push because of politicalreasons"
-You demand the lights be turned off before you enter a room, then suddenly clicked on once you reach the middle.
-When you answer a question correctly in class you say "BANG!"
-You strut to the board and say "Whoo!" before workingout the problem
-You write "nWo" on all your boss's overheads whilehe's not looking
-You have theme music while entering for your thesis presentation
- Your entrance music plays every time you enter the office.
- You see a fight in the street and call the moves.
- You nick your finger preparing your lunch, then think you havejust bladed.
- Whenever you punch anyone you use your arm and stamp on theground simulataneously.
- Whenever you see a ladder you climb it to retrieve the belt.
- Any Japanese or Mexican colleagues are praised for theirworkrate.
- You paint your face and don't speak to your co-workers, thencome to work with a bird.
- Or... you sit around work all day with this "Gen-X" attitude...and when someone talks to you, you start spouting offbad poetry!
- When your at the gym you play your belt like a guitar i.e Hogan
- Whenever you bet someone down you spray paint on there back
- When you're in trouble your friends come out and beat the H*llout of the other guy
- You tell your friends that they are so sweeeeeeeeeeet
- When you continuously say one or all of the following: whoooo, tooo sweeeet, that's the bottom line, extreme, oooooh yeah, andmany different uses of the word weasel.
- Do you whistle the NWO theme song as you have sex?
- Can you remember the last time you didn't watch wrestling onMonday night?
- You make your own championship belt out of cardboard andglitter and wear it everywhere you go.
- You do a "Jerry Lawler entrance" i.e. turn the lightsoff, and when they come back on your in the room............at adance.
- Every time you step outside your house the first thing you dois make your favorite wrestlers hand gesture .
- You have to smash a Pepsi can on your head before you can playWCW vs. the World.
- When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest InPeace"
- At the climactic moment of passion with your partner, youscream,"WHOOOOOOO!"
- When the boss yells at you, you get three of your buddies andpunk him in the parking lot.
- Someone at a party tells a funny joke and you accuse him oftrying to get over.
- Anytime anybody asks you a question, you "grab themike" and yell, "MEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEE"
- You enter every room through the rafters with your son's voiceintroducing you.
- You can't walk into a room without Jimmy Hart singing yourtheme music.
- You can't enter a room without a large pyrotechnic display.
- Out of nowhere, you kick your boss and give him the Stone ColdStunner.
- You talk in a third person like, " 'cause [SC] (name) saidso"
- You throw paper and water bottles at your enemies, because theyare acting like a heel.
- While playing a sport, your friend gets injured and you sayit's a work.
- You see a guy a dancing and posing, and start to chant "Heis Gay"
- You create different personas and believe they are differentpeople.
- You see a Canadian=A0or foriegner, you start to chant "USA!" "USA!"
- You post the same thing over and over on RSPW to make yourpoint.
- You show up at work in your everyday clothes and say "Idon't need any stupid gimmicks to work!"
- You and your co-workers decide to go to rival or competitor andsay "We're taking over!"
- You're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believethat with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
- You walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews whilewalking down the aisle.
- Your method for testing whether fruit is ripe consists ofsmashing it across someone's forehead.
- You giggle when someone says they've got a 'job' to do.
- You've learned all your dance steps from Shawn Michaels andAlex Wright.
- You get deja vu playing "Mortal Kombat." ("Fatality. Glacier wins.")
- You find yourself waiting for Jeff Foxworthy to slop drop anaudience member.
- You watch the news and wonder if the 'extremely graphic images' were done by blading, capsule or hardway.
- You deliever 1 Diamond Cutter, 2 Stone Cold Stunners, and 1DDTonto a binder all before Social Class starts
- When called up to the board at class, you call the teacher afat ass, kick her in gut, and apply the "Stone coldStunner"! then Show her she's number Two (ie. with bothfingers) and walk back to your desk with your
arms in the air.
- When called up to the board you stand up at the board, put yourleft arm straight out and cup your ear with your right hand andlisten for the reaction. Then, rip your shirt off...
- Every time you walk into a meeting, you clap your hands overyour head singing, American Males
- You refuse to go to work unless they let you wear a dog collarand play Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" in thebackground
- Whenever you see a guy with two girls, you run up to him andask, "What do you have to say, Dreamer?"
- On a job application, you state your residence as "partsunknown"
- You challenge someone to a fight while wearing a mask, hopingthey won't know it's really you
- You try to pick up girls by doing the nWo 'Look at my crotch' gesture.
- You power bomb your mom through the dinner table.
- After an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug eachother and then after you raise both yours and your friend's armsin the air, as he looks to the side, you clothesline him.
- When you put up your wife or girlfriend up in a card game for30 days if you lose.
- If you are a hair stylist and you put the person in a sleeperbefore you cut their hair
- When you have two...TWO t.v's set up right next to each otherso you can catch both Raw and Nitro.
- You start your own "rival" company at work, callyourself the "Outsiders", recruit the President anddeclare in a board meeting "Jou want a WAR? Jou gawt onechico!"
- You carry around a tape recorder and before you say somethingyou press play and it says:
This message has been paid for by the new world order or webworld order
- You start piledriving your pen with your fingers
- You meet a wrestler once and then call him your friend.
- You get into a fight at a USWA show over who was the betterMulkey Brother.
- You start to believe that you're sleeping with Terri Runnels.
- You spend sleepless nights trying to figure out if Flash andJimmy Jack are related to Terry and Dory Jr.
- You look on Peoplesearch for Randy and Bill Mulkey
- You are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size andyou think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan deathgrip on him.
- You look for Sting on the back of the milk carton duringbreakfast.
- You search & search the bible for the book of Austin.
- You hit your ex boyfriend/husband with a high heel
- You start discussing who the jobbers/JTTS are in other sports
- You're trying to pick up a girl and you ask if she wants to gofor a ride on Space Mountain...
- You found yourself marking out because the Braves had to job tothe Mets on the last two games of the season......
- After you ask for a Big Mac at McDonald's, you yell "ANDTHAT'S AN ORDER!"
- You call your group of friends a stable
- You go to a dance and start dancing like Alex Wright.
- In Chemistry, your friend drops a chemical on himself and youyell "He's Hardcore!"
- You try to figure out everyone's gimmick at Halloween.
- When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.
- When there's a fight and you "mark out."
- You make a speech at work and you end it with "Quote theRaven...Nevermore".
- You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing amask.
- You get fired from work and go over to the competition, walkingin the front and saying "YO! You know who I am, but don'tknow why I'm here!"
- You Stone Cold Stunner the manager before leaving
- When, in school, a teacher tells you to be quiet or do yourwork and you say, say what ya want, cause i really don't give adamn and stone cold stunner him\her and yell in front of theclass, cause stone cold said so
and that's the bottom line!
- You see Barbie and Ken and start wondering why Eric Bitchoff iswith Sable in the same box.
- When your friend falls down, you drop an elbow on him.
- Your Idea of good sex is wrestling your loved one 2 out of 3falls
- You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone ischeating you turn your head
- You drop your buddy head first to piledrive the cement.
- You and some of your friends invade the local church beat upthe pastor until a few months later he takes your side.
- You go to a bingo hall and chant ecw ecw ecw or bingo just forthe hell of it
- You say ass every time you get a interview.
- You add spikes to your football shoulder pads.
- You paint yourself like a crow and don't talk to anyone for ayear.
- You keep waiting for Jerry Lawler to be in a Parkay commercial.
- You know more about the wrestler than your own family.
- You wonder when max mini takes a bath if uses a lifejacket.
- You give enemies the figure 4 leglock around a goal post.
Your teacher asks you about the new world order and the fourhorsemen and instead of answering historical facts you put up 4fingers and then chop your pelvis.
- You paint your face talk about powers of the universe runaround the block shaking fences before you have fight.
- Your idea of computer dating is downloading sunny.
- You call yourself the stunner.
- When ever you see free willy you yell paul bearer.
- You think the godwins were in deliverance.
- You shave your head grow a goatee and give your boss thestunner because you injure your self on the job.
- Your boss says he has a job for you to do and you lie downwaiting for him/her to cover you for three seconds.
- During an episode of ER you chant we want blood we want blood.
- You kiss your TV whenever Sunny, Sable, Marlena or Kimberly areon.
- You think about bodyslammng Santa Clause.
- You yell whooo before you talk to anyone.
- You call your best friend your cousin.
- You are MC-ing a fundraiser and welcome everyone while yellingat the top of your lungs
- You go to taco bell and order a los buricous chili platter..
- You consider fighting in the school yard a steel cage match.
- You can only count to three.
- You think the movie Buddy is a biographical film on GeorgeSteele.
- You name you son Hulk and your daughter Madusa (or is the otherway around)
- You beat up Metermaids because they look like the big bossman
- You go to IHOP to see if Dusty Rhodes is in the pancake eatinghall of fame.
- You start whooooing for no reason at all.
- You notice the ken doll looks like eric bitchoff
- You get a paper cut while dateing sunny's pictuure.
- You communicate more with people on the net more than your ownfamily.
- When you are sick you look up Dr. Harvey Wippleman.
- You remember when Paul Bearer only had a couple of chins.
- When you see a fat out of shape dumb guy with a beard and a 2*4and you yell hooo.
- In the middle of the fight, you start to look to the crowd andstart grunting and yelling to generate some heat!
- You're watching a bar fight and someone gets cracked over thehead with a chair, and you start chanting "ECW! ECW! ECW! ECW!
- You like think the Nitro Girls can Dance.
- You don't help your friend in a Bar fight Because you're a "FREE AGENT"
- You wear your big Styrofoam Macho Man cowboy hat in public.
- You go to your little sisters softball game and start a "we want blood" chant.
- You get into a argument with a friend at work and challenge himto a loser must retire match.
- You're in a football game and before kicking off you strutacross the field hoping the crowd will respond with "whooooooooo!"
- You fly down to your office in a helicopter, jump off weringjeans and the American flag, and bodyslam the fattest guy in theoffice...
- You watch kids playing at recess and if two get into a fight, you yell, "He's hardcore!"
- You can actually remember Stings last public words
- You go to a Rage Against the Machine concert and demand yourmoney back when you don't hear "Degeneration X"
- You turn off the lights to go to bed, then immediately hide inthe closet for 5 minutes to make sure Kain doesn't get you.
- You give your boss the Stone Cold Stunner and expect not to getfired.
- When wearing your NWO t-shirt, you look up at the ceilingbefore entering a room, to make sure Sting isn't waiting for you.
- You drove to Cleveland to find Cactus Jack in 1993.
- You figure you don't need to waste your time entering thecontest to win Austin's truck since you went out and bought onejust like it last week.
- You refer to yourself as "the showstopper"
- When a co-worker wins an award you thought you should have, youeither steal theirs or you go out and have your own made
- You consistently put up your wife/girlfriend for 30 days whenmaking bets.
- You drive around to various softball fields looking for Sid.
- You want to break into the business by landing a part in thenext WCW mini-movie.
- You call WCW asking for information on taking classes fromProfessor Mike Tenay.
- You have no rhythm and don't know how to dance, so when you goto parties you get drunk and try to dance like Alex Wright or theDisco Inferno
- You carry an American flag with you everywhere you go
- You wear a mask to work
- You tell everyone who disagrees with you to "suck it"
- You demand that they play your entrance music when you comeinto a room
- You shake hands with a friend and give him/her a shortclothesline
- You get the urge to dive through a table (poor me....)
- When you get an "F" on a test in Spanish class, youspit on your teacher, punch him/her, then start complaining aboutscrewjobs. Shortly thereafter, you transfer to French class.
- You start complaining about the dorky kids in gym class alwaysjobbing to the jocks.
- You refuse to take tests unless they are no DQ.
- Whenever there are other people in the bathroom, you startbeating the crap out of them with the bathroom fixtures.
- You think Debra McMichael is a natural blonde.
- You start giving yourself weird hair styles.
- You start giving people the Rocky Maivia stare
- You sit around a computer reading a newsgroup about wrestling.