I just got back from my RAs 21st birthday party. Last weekend, when the thruway was closed and we were all snowed in, she went out of her way to drive Karen (the ditz who lives across the hall from me) home. Karen was beyond happy, and yesterday she decided we should do something cool for Tracy's birthday. I wasn't there, but apparently about five people were upstairs saying, "but what can we do?" and one of them, joking, said, "we should get her a stripper!"

And that was that.

The girl who suggested it tried to talk them out of it... but apparently it is possible to book a stripper with less than 24 hours notice. We all pitched in $5 and it came out to exactly enough.

I was really nervous. I was so sure I'd feel like a complete idiot sitting there watching him, and I was even more sure I'd feel like an idiot if I didn't go. And besides, doesn't it sound fun to say, "we got her a stripper"? And I couldn't really say that if I didn't go. (you know what I noticed? Everyone else called him a male stripper. How come you have to say male stripper but not female stripper?)

I wasn't at all sure I'd go, until 20 minutes before he was supposed to get here Sarah came in my room and asked me to help her set up. Apparently, it's normal to be scared of going in the basement by yourself. Nobody told me that, I go down there by myself all the time. So I went with her to the disgusting basement "study lounge" which is filled with stolen shopping cards and discarded furniture, and we pushed chairs and tables around and hung up a "Happy Birthday Tracy!" banner. ...and I was still giving some thought to taking cold medicine and passing out, until two girls from upstairs came in. And one of them looked at us and said, "I'm scared, I'm not into this type of stuff." and all three of us said, "me too."

And I felt so much better.

We ended up with about 20 girls in the room, plus Tracy. Erin brought her down blindfolded and made her sit in the center. After the stripper got there, we had to push a table in front of the door because there were about 30 guys outside trying to get in. Personally, I would have let them, just to see what their reaction was to a guy standing in the middle of the room in a g-string, especially since that guy was obviously better built than any of them.

But anyway, he started out wearing a police uniform. And I was sitting there thinking it might not be terrible if he didn't come near me. As he was handcuffing Tracy, I noticed that one of the girls from upstairs was sitting there with her mouth wide open, and it occured to me, I probably have more sexual experience than half the girls in that room.

It's pathetic that that thought made a difference, but it did. The girl with her mouth hanging open tells anyone who will listen that sex should wait for marriage. And I counted ten girls who have never even mentioned guys, at least not while I'm around, and I'm around a lot. And I realize that I never mention guys either, and they were probably thinking the same thing about me, but that's okay. I at least realized that I am a lot harder to shock than most of them.

I completely stopped being self-conscious.

A few minutes after that, he started going around with a stack of pictures. He stuck a picture in his g-string, went up to a girl, and said, "it's a game, and you can't use your hands" A couple girls hid or said no so he stuck it on his chest, and then they always did it. And then he got to me and said, "Now, I know you're not shy." and he climbed up on my chair... and I didn't even think twice about it. And I thought the hooting sounded louder than when the girls before me did it, but I thought I was imagining things, until he moved and I realized everyone was staring at me. They didn't think I'd do it.

Karen came up to me right after he finished and said just that- that she couldn't believe I did it, and that she was sure I'd say no, and on and on and on. And once again, the perceptions people have of me amaze me. They seem to think that because I say no, I'll always say no. I'm sure the fact that I come off as a kinda-shy geek doesn't help, and I'm sure it doesn't help that I would readily admit to being a kinda-shy geek. Still, I always want to ask them what made them think I'd say no.

Because really, when it comes right down to it, there is very little I say no to. I say no whenever I'm uncomfortable, and I say no whenever there is something I just don't want to do. And when I say no, I am blunt. I really don't make any effort to spare peoples' feelings. But there just aren't many times that I actually feel I need to say no.

The same thing happened when Marc asked me to take a shot, and I said yes. They were all amazed that I did it, and I was amazed that they were amazed. I always feel like saying, "Well, you never asked me before!" but that sounds kind of whiny.



I just completely lost what little train of thought I had. I'm gonna blame it on the cold medicine. I've only been to two classes so far this week. I didn't get to sleep until after two Sunday night because I couldn't breathe right, and then I woke up at 6:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up, took more medicine, and reset my alarm for 11. I decided that if I was awake, I'd get up and be miserable in class instead of miserable in my room, but if I fell asleep I wasn't getting up for the first class. The medicine (tylenol sinus, I love that stuff.) kicked in, and I slept right through that class. I went to Chemistry because we had a quiz, and I skipped the chem workshop thing that comes in the afternoon. Today I was planning on going to my first class, but I woke up and felt terrible. I took more medicine and reset the alarm. I went to my second class, because I thought we'd get our test back, but we didn't. I was very upset. Really, he was snowed in all weekend, classes were cancelled, he doesn't have kids to use as an excuse... why didn't he have our tests graded?

But tomorrow I definitely have to go to my first class, since it's the same first class I skipped Monday. I think that means I should go to bed. I'm feeling a little better, but I still have a fever and I still can't breathe right. I've decided if it's still bad Thursday I'll go to the health center. I'd probably go tomorrow, except I have lab all afternoon and I don't think I have time.


oh, by the way... the picture is of him in a bathtub with a bottle of champagne and a rose next to him. There were about six different pictures, I got the best one. One of the guys upstairs has a scanner, I'm gonna try and get him to scan it for me. I'll let you know.