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written December 8, 1999 It recently came to my attention that the bio on this page is hopelessly outdated. Hence I'm writing a new one, in the time I'm supposed to be writing a final paper. Typical. My name is Sarah, which sometimes seems unbareably plain and sometimes seems just right. I'm 18 years old, I was born on Halloween, 1981. I'm a senior in college, a state school that gets made fun of a lot but is in reality a decent school. I am all too aware that the typical reaction to the above statements is: "18 years old + senior in college = does not compute, does not compute" I am a reformed loner who somehow inherited a very close group of friends who seem to like me for who I am. This is a very foreign concept which still doesn't seem possible, but has happened nonetheless. I am a lesbian, my girlfriend's name is Melchelle. I hate school with a passion, and I hate everything associated with school, including but not limited to: my major (political science), homework, walking half a mile just to get to my car, living in a dorm with idiotic screaming girls who don't shut up until 4am, campus food, and having a room the size of a walk-in closet. I am still in school despite this primarily because my every attempt to drop out has been foiled and i have been brainwashed into believing a bachelor's degree is important. I plan on graduating this May, the thought of which makes me endlessly happy. I haven't got the slightest idea what I want to do with my life, and most days that doesn't bother me. I have issues, many of them. I have given up on pseudonyms, my ex-girlfriend's name is emily, we were together for around 3 years, that is the source of many of the aforementioned issues. I'm not always sane, but at least I'm not always crazy... the best mechanism for coping with stress: buy yourself toys. Current fave: cabbage patch garden fairies. I am the only child and my parents are still married. We appear to be the ideal family- I'm here to tell you appearances can be deceiving. I'm a vegetarian and have for almost 6 years. When I was 12 the thought of eating dead animals suddenly disgusted me, and the fact that it annoyed my mother was just an added bonus.... now I am a vegetarian mostly out of habit. I think in song lyrics. Mostly ani difranco, but also dar williams, paula cole, sarah mclachlan, tori amos, soraya, and many many others... I am an expert at being irresponsible and having fun, I am also an expert at feeling unbelievably guilty about it. I am a bleeding-heart liberal and despite the widely held belief that college students tend to be liberal, whenever I go to class I am extremely outnumbered. I want to be a writer. There is a book called "Children with Emerald Eyes" by Mira Rothenberg, and there are three pages in that book which are absolutely beautiful. The first time I discovered them I reread them several times and then got out of bed, found my black permanent marker, and wrote as much as I could on my wall. And, as I once told Melchelle, that is the kind of writer I aspire to be- the kind that inspires 13 year old girls to get out of bed and write on their wall. despite the fact that i want to be a writer, I have very little hope of every being a writer in any context other than this one. I believe that every moment of my life up til now has shaped me, and to understand who I am now I need to understand what has happened and where I come from. That is the basis behind most of my writing. I have a tendency to get claustrophobic, and my closet-size single dorm room doesn't help the situation. my favorite perfumes are jovan white musk and samsara. I still sleep with the teddy bear i got when I was 5... he's a little worse for the wear, but I still love him. My favorite colors are blue, green, and yellow, not necessarily in that order. I am happier when my hair is red, but despite that it continues to grow in brown. If my house were burning down and I could only grab two things, I'd grab my photo album and my teddy bear. If I were stranded on a desert island with one book and one cd, I'd choose Margaret Atwood's, "The Handmaid's Tale" and Ani DiFranco's Living in Clip (the first disc, if i can only have one.) I love bubbles, spirographs, play-doh, colored pens, legos, toy story, star wars, beanie babies, the muppets, lite brite, crayons.... My favorite food is baba, but they don't sell it at wegmans so i eat hummus instead. I recently purchased a pair of fuzzy yellow boxers from lerner, and they make me endlessly happy. I have the ability to go on like this all night, but I won't, because I must now go write a two-three page technical analysis of a shot in a hitchcock movie. (any shot, in any of the movies we've watched since midterm) The previous bio follows this, in case you care to see how far I've come... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ But since you're here I guess I might as well give you the quick statistics to help you understand whatever you may come across in that journal. I'm 17 and I'm a college junior. I never, ever tell anybody that in real life. But it is a big part of how I define myself. I have problems figuring out exactly what it means and how I fit in the scheme of things because of it. In general, I have issues about it and it comes up way too much. I'm a lesbian. My ex-girlfriend's pseudonym is "J.A." I'm almost over her, really, I am. Once again, this is something I never talk about in real life... but the thoughts have to go somewhere, so here they are. I'm more than a little bit in love with Ani DiFranco. I look up to her. The one characteristic I wish I had a whole lot more of is bravery- and she has it. My other characteristics: I'm a geek. Don't ever try to tell me I'm not- I'll get mad at you. I'm a political science major and occasionally I even take that seriously. I'm a liberal feminist almost-pacifist who more or less agrees with Utah Phillips' assessment of political parties: "...Talking to a conservative is like talking to my refrigerator. The light goes on, the light goes off - it's not gonna do anything that ain't programmed into it ... Working for the democratic party - that's kinda like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic..." ...but I'd still tell anyone who asked that I'm a democrat. There were a lot of people who could've kept the Titanic from sinking. I live off of music and books - I'm convinced I could learn more spending four years in a public library than I ever could spending them in college... but I'm doing it anyway because you have to have a good job to have time to spend in a library and I don't really know any other way to get one. Plus by the time it was legal for me to quit I already had a year and a half done and it seemed silly to just stop with nothing to show for it. And that's all. It's jumbled and confused but so am I and if you're at all intrigued go read the journal... because things usually come out better over there. |
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