~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
FaVe QuOteS:
-Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
-You know what I hate? When you go to a friend's house for a party, and his parrot lands on your head and craps down your neck, and everyone laughs...then you grab the parrot, break his neck, and toss him out the window...and *then* everyone thinks you're mean.I hate that.- Adam Sandler
-What if the person who created the standard for normal was weird...
-Never critiscize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets mad and comes after you, he has to run a mile with no shoes.
-I am a simple little goat...
-Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man." --Adam Sandler
-If it is funny shaped and fuzzy, you can eat it.
-silence is golden so shut the f*ck up and get rich
-Money is the root of all evil...give me some and I will show you how bad I can be......
-Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill 'em
-if God wanted me to bend over he would have put diamonds on the floor
-I have pms and a gun..now what were you saying???
-If I ever have a cat, I'll name it Kenny. That way, everyone will know what to say when I kill it...teehee
-Don't be sad that school has passed, just be glad they passed your ass
-Kids in the backseat cause accidents...accidents in the back seat cause kids
-It's true God made man before woman, but one always makes a rough draft before creating a masterpiece
- I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on
-I'm normal. It's everyone else thats weird.
- Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
-There are 3 kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what the hell just happened
-If you can’t ignore an insult, top it. If you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it's probably deserved
-You know, sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more water out of the pool...
-If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."-Adam Sandler
-I pimp therefore I am
-Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not arrogant, I'm just better than you
-Save Water. Drink Beer
-Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem so funny.
-I don't swim in your toilet, so don't piss in my pool
-if people are going to hate me, I want them to hate me for the right reasons
-Borrow money from pessimists...they don't expect it back
-The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
-Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
MoRe QuOteS: