Lists of Candidates for the Primary

Vote for Brain for President. As we all know, the Brain is the most intelligent candidate that can possibly run for President. He, like George W. Bush, reformed from his criminal ways to run for President. But this candidate has many major advantages-His name does not start with the word "George", end with the word "Bush" or have a stupid initial in the middle. He has more brain cells than a macadamia nut and can spell macadamia. He is committed to his goal, more than any other candidates. Brain also teamed up with the second smartest politician, Bill Nye (the Science Guy). Using Nye to help get the large "people" electorate, The Brain-Nye team plan on winning the nomination, then the Presidency and then the WORLD!!

Angered by their partners betrayals, Pinky has decided to run for President, and have Bill Nye's deep-voiced announcer run with him. The fear is that Pinky might split the "mouse" vote with Brain, letting neither win the election. He says, "We'll win the mouse vote and the nomination. Zort!". When asked about campaign-finance reform, Pinky replied his stance on the issue is "Narf, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha". Then the Deep-Voiced Announcer slapped Pinky upside his head. This ticket has a lot of potential, and should play well with the general electorate.

These ex-Saturday Night Live cast members remain very popular with the American public. On the downside, both have been dead for a considerable amount of time. However, campaign manager Jon Belushi predicts that won't be a problem. "If the American people can elect Ronald Regan, who was deceased during both campaigns, then they would love to vote for these fine candidates. This is the most popular Presidential ticket we have!" The pair will be exhumed within the week. According to experts, rigor mortis will not be noticeable under good lighting, and they will vote in the upcoming primary.

One of the more interesting tickets this election season is the Marvin-Alf race. After repeatedly denying claims that Marvin the Martian is at all realated to Marvin the Martian on the Moon, he has been allowed to run. He said, "You're making me very, very angry" during the time, but is now focusing on getting his message out to the public. When Alf and Marvin the Martian were asked about possibly being illegal immigrants, making them unable to become President, Alf quipped "Hey, no problem." This is shaping up to be the ticket with the two shortest candidates, ever.

Joining forces are the two most irritating internet figures; Ask Jeeves endorser Jeeves and Bess, the world's **expletive deleted** dog. While Jeeves simply stares and helps make ones internet experience more enjoyable, Bess makes an effort to block any website. The idea of putting an unlikeable candidate as Vice President may backfire, as people usually want to like their candidates. But, it may help Jeeves appear to be alot more likeable and friendly. He is considered very stiff by most political pundits. This ticket could be very strong in the "computer geek", especially if it gets the Weber family endorsement.