The EMHS Bells

As many of you know, the bell system at East Meadow High School have been dysfunctional. Many people say there's just a bug in the system, but that's because they don't want the truth to be known. The truth is that the bells don't work because of microscopic gremlins who use cheese to power their top-secret mission to conquer the world. The mission is the worst one of all-to make the all Rosie O'Donnell network!

That's right-it's microscopic gremlins. But, those gremlins, using their gremlinesque powers of persusaion, convinced Rupert Murdoch, an evil liker of Freakylinks. This man now wants to replace the best television channel, TNN, with this crap. As we all know, Rupert Murdoch is also a member of the EMHS School Board. He is their Director Executive Assistant in Charge of the Committee to Insert Tunsian Pornography in the Pre-K Curriculum (DEACCITPPC for short). Using his supreme influence, Murdoch decided to change the bell to the sound made by Rosie O'Donnell's life machine when she was clincally dead after a liposuction went wrong. They tape of this will be played during the Sweeps special, when Rosie O'DOnnell becomes clinically dead during high-speed police chases 6508750875.

The Nabisco Corporation, the makers of oreos and other fine choclarific products, gets 87% of it's gross revenues from O'Donnell. If O'Donnell gets her own channel, she would have enough money to simply by her own oreo factory. If this happens, she would simply sit in front of the machine and eat all of the oreos she can. If she does this, than the world will eventually run out of choclate outside and creamy filling. This would cause a bigger than ever Rosie O'Donnell to go out on a rampage, eating whatever she can find. Then, a Rosie O'Donnell, bigger than buildings, will go on a rampage, destroying buildings. This must be stopped!!