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QUOTE OF THE DAY

The Quote of the Day Archives

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Februay 13, 2000: "Hey, you know what? I never played spin the bottle when I was a kid..." - Irene, drunk, at Bill's house. On a side note, she has since played spin the bottle.

February 25, 2000: "If I sweat cheese...I'D DIE!!!" - Jason Flynn, on whether he'd rather sweat cheese or vomit marbles.

March 17, 2000: "I swear, if you have sex with her I'll KILL YOU!" - Bill MacKay, when I made it clear that I would be around to go home with a fellow SIer.

March 24, 2000: "CONSTIPATION RULES!" - Alec, really really stoned.

March 26, 2000: "Well, if it isn't Jason 'let's call a cab' Flynn" - A disgruntled Jesse after the cab incident.

April 2, 2000: "My God, how many Stuyvesant students does it take to clean up a soda spill?" - Jay, upon looking at everyone at the Wrestlmania party all cleaning up the mess.

April 3, 2000: "CAN'T WE GET THROUGH ONE MEAL WITHOUT SPILLING SOMETHING!?!?" - Jay, as more spills followed the Wrestlmania spill.

April 16, 2000: "Aaaaaaaaaay...FUCK YOU!" - What it said on the shirts of the 2 drunks in the Subway station somewhere the night of Sing!

April 17, 2000: "And then I woke up, and it was like 'oooooooh..........man...'...then I put my pants back on." - Jesse, on when he woke up the day after the night of Sing!

April 26, 2000: "HEY RICKY! THERE'S A HAMBURGER IN LEFT FIELD! IT'S RIGHT THERE! WHY DON'T YOU PICK IT UP?" - Roger, to Ricky Henderson, on the Hamburger in left field.

May 1, 2000: "Damn it! It's my birthday and I haven't gotten any yet" - Jesse Powell, just before getting a hug.

May 3ish, whenever Mr. Esper's 4th period class did the Series circuit lab: "Horarto explains things to NO MAN!" - Horarto, to Mr. Esper upon asking Horarto to explain something.

May 10, 2000: Wait, so let me get this straight. If we don't do all the labs, we'll (in a deep voice with hands cupped over the mouth) BE BANED FROM THE PHYSICS REGENTS EXAMINATION." - Danny, emphasizing the lab policy of Mr. Esper.

May 19, 2000: "We should have taken the picture a little lower...so you could see her tits" - Matt, on his campaign poster

May 20, 2000: "Do they have to take the tarp off the field before they play the game?" - Julie, on the rain delay at Shea

May 21, 2000: "Wait a minute...This is water!" - Jay Flynn, on the bottle of water containing a mysterious clear liquid at Gillam's appartment.

May 22, 2000: "Stop wiggling your butt, your shaking my chair!" - Sarah, randomly in the middle of math class to the kid sitting in front of her.

May 23, 2000: "It'd be one of those things that glows in the dark and smells at night" - Jesse Powell (I forget what he was talking about. Yes today was that slow), to which Bill responded "Like me!"

May 24, 2000: "Besides, grass isn't for sitting on, it's for smoking." - someone in art class

May 26, 2000: "Funcking hey! We get the day off." - Emily, in history on the hypothetical holiday of Emily day when a kid's excited about staying home and the mom's like "Hey, an important woman died on this day".

May 27, 2000: "Congradulations on your 50 years of Aniversery!" - Lauren, on my Grandparents 50th aniversery tape (as in she's on the tape saying that)

May 28, 2000: ""Oh yeah, I'll bring a mask of myself! You never know when you'll need a mask of yourself." - The mysterious Devin, on a part of MI2.

May 30, 2000: "Rebecca, you said 'Julie, go fuck him! Go suck his dick!'" - Jon on Rebecca on Julie not doing Jesse

May 31, 2000: "Heh...she rubbed her boob." - Jason and Wilson (you know, like when you both see something and look at eachother and you know you're both thinking the same thing?), on a hot girl on the bus.

June 5, 2000: ""Uh, Mr. Ramirez, could you please put that thing down? Yes, I'm talking to you....you wanna piece of me tough guy? Huh?.....I didn't think so!" -Mr. Sharkey on Wilson's refusal to lower the high jump bar below 7 feet.

June 7, 2000: "Will, you don't have to rape her for a nap!" - Bill, on Will continually trying to put his head in Vanessa's lap.

June 13, 2000: "Just go drink some weed." - Rebecca at the park yesterday. Yes, we were all drunk

June 26, 2000: "I could give you 5 quotes, but Julie's here." - Roger, as he continued his mass insultation of Julie on the subway after the game.

June 28, 2000: "Alright, but I can only tell you if you don't put this up as quote of the day...there's major cleavage in the area." - Someone who shall remain anonimus. He was right.

June 30, 2000: "Damn it Roger, that may very well have been Mike Piazza's last at bat!" - Jay, to Roger, who didn't get up for Piazza's inning ending out...in the 6th.

July 2, 2000: "Wait, that should be action of the day" - Nolan, after hearing that "Ejaculate" was word of the day.

July 3, 2000: "And then you get on the island, and signal right so Jackson goes left, and you go left killing Jackson!" - Roger, part of his crazy wrestling story.

July 7, 2000: "DAMN PAUL O'NEIL!" - Everyone who likes the Mets, for obvious reasons.

July 9, 2000: "Yes, I want to touch your voluptuous man breasts" - Don't ask. One of those things that sound really bad when taken seriously and heard without the rest of the conversation.

July 12, 2000: "I like moving things around in my mouth!" - Lauren, in a conversation regarding eating a McDonalds hamburgers in one bite.

July 13, 2000: "If you'd like to e-mail Lorne Lanning your thoughts on his ridiculous comments on Dolphin, you can reach him at imajackass@sonysbitch.com." - One of the fine Nintendorks writers.

July 14, 2000: "I smell waffles..." - Jay, upon smelling waffles

July 21, 2000: "I didn't know the liquor store was so close..." - The first thing Bob notices on the bootleg camping thing.

July 25, 2000: So what! The Yankees are only winning 10 nothing! - My dad, on why we shouldn't watch the Met game. The Mets were winning (and won) 5-0.

July 29, 2000: "Mass people at the mall..." - Jay's keen observation

July 30, 2000: "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE HAMBURGER!" - An angry dad, speaking of the flaming burger in the oven.

July 31, 2000; "Yikes! It's Uncle Tommy." - Five year old cousin Stephen. Smart man.

August 2, 2000: "The Rock likes his Dick and Bush." - Roger, on the Rock being at the GOP convention. What were you thinking?

August 8, 2000: "For the sake of major league baseball this game should be cancled right now!!!" - The comentator for the Met game, after the John Franco ruling in Houston on the home run and Piazza throwing the ball into Center so Payton could throw it away.

August 9, 2000: "We wanna see this movie!" - Matt, holding up the Maxim with the Coyote Ugly girls on the cover to the ticket guy.

August 17, 2000: "Damn, my pants are wet" - said by Wilson trying to cover up some leakage (you know what kind) by saying that the grass was wet.

August 22, 2000: "Get him Steve! He's a Yankee fan!" - Jay to Steve on the bumper cars. Steve, my 5 (and a half!) year old cousin who was steering, somehow managed to gain controll of the car long enough to slam right into hom and sent his cap flying off.

August 27, 2000: "I was going to wear a bra today but I decided not to" - Cristina, on the way to the Met game. Endless boob jokes ensued, and well as some ass grabbings.

August 29, 2000: "I CALL THE STATE OF TEXAS!" - Jay, in regards to the game

August 30, 2000: "I TOUCHED MR. MET!" - Roger, on his "best night ever" at Shea stadium, on touching Mr. Met's big ball

September 1, 2000: "My buns are hard" - Laruen...on her Wendy's sandwich

September 3, 2000: "Ana's gone. I can do whatever I want now" - Roger, while staring at Cristina

September 4, 2000: "I don't want to watch a movie, I want to see a movie!" - Kevin, on what we should do with people.

September 6, 2000: "I love girls in short shorts.....Wooooo! SHIT!" - Kevin, in his car, looking at girls....who turned and looked as he sped away.

September 7, 2000: "This is Jackie, she likes girly books" - Bill in English class, on the books Jackie likes.

September 8 2000: "I guess cavemen played baseball" - Larry, on my drawing

September 10, 2000: "Yeah, it's small and plastic and needs some assembly" - Wilson, in responce to Roger saying he'd show Cristina a toy in the bathroom.

September 11, 2000: "Jay, the cure lies within you. You have to fight the cheese!" - Larry, on my alergy.

September 13, 2000: "A big icky thing I do for extra credit." - Cristina C. (As opposed to the braless Cristina), on the instrument she blows.......into in band.

September 16, 2000: "Remember these things? They're called breasts!" - Jackie, on why she doesn't go to an all boy school

September 19, 2000: "I swear by Old MacDonald, cows meow!" - Granger in AP Com Sci, on the Old MacDonald had a farm song (EIEIO)

September 23, 2000: "I'd do her in a second....but for much much longer" - Wilson, on a piece of feminen beauty

September 27, 2000: "You have to have good aim to hit John Rocker" - The nice young man in front of us to get into the bleechers for free. Very inteligent for a 5 year old.

October 1, 2000: "I enjoyed watching Roger masturbate." - Lauren, on Roger's actions on the train.

October 3, 2000: "You want me to smell good, right?" - Shari, on smelling good.

October 7, 2000: "He even has cute nose hairs" - Shari, on my extreme cuteness.

October 12, 2000: "And now, I'm off to put my pants back on" - Jay (me), on the second floor, before going to the fourth floor to put his pants back on.

October 17, 2000: "Hey man, I gave you 91 million dollars...why'd you do that?" - A drunken Steve Philips, upon having Champaign dumped on him by Mike the Fing Piazza.

October 19, 2000: "Chug it like a man...bitch!" - Ramin, on chugging....a Pepsi

October 20, 2000: "My shampoo is orgasmic" - Shari, on shampoo

October 21, 2000: "I AM EL PRESEDENTE! YOUR AT BAT HAS BEEN VETOED!" - Jay, on what El Duque's Brother should say.

October 28, 2000: "HONK" - Roger, on what Jay should say sometimes.

October 31, 2000: "For God's sake, get your fingers out of his eyes!" - Ms Schimel, on someone's fingers on my mask

November 1, 2000: "If you were my hormone, you'd get the line right!" - Roger

November 6, 2000: "So, I finally found a bra" - Alla (with 3 l's!), holding up a bra, very casually walking into the bathroom

November 12, 2000: "Yeah, it's like tokens for the B6." - Wilson, on his condom suply

November 15, 2000: "A goose isn't really a geese, is it?" - Mr. Tom Flynn, after having a beer or two

November 22, 2000: "I'm gonna see how much more wine I can get out of this deal" - Kristin, on Thanksgiving on LBI

November 23, 2000: "Oh, if we were friends and not cousins we'd all be naked by now" - Kristin in the early AM hours, after getting some more wine out of that deal

November 24, 2000: "No! No! You don't understand! I HAVE THE CASE!" - Lisa, while playing Perfect Dark.

November 27, 2000: "I?m a fish guy. I used to live in the Atlantic Ocean you know." - Action Jackson, on fish

November 28, 2000: "THAT'S IT, I'M NOT GOING TO YOUR CLASS!" - Will Prabuh, at Portabellos, to Mr. Mazetti

December 6. 2000: "Yeah, you know what else he was in? DIE HARD WITH A VENGENCE! Or, in spanish, Muerte Fuerte con la Vengenc�a!" - Bill, on Jeramy Irons.

December 7, 2000: "Yeah, woof to you too!" - Shari, alightly annoyed, to a dog that barked once, and quickly proceeded to whimper.

December 8, 2000: "Now Mabel, don't talk to me about Marx and Klein, I've been dealing with them for 30 years...Don't tell me about Marx and Klein, I've had to deal with them long enough....Don't...make me repeat my line." - Matt's line after Noah refuses to make his entrance and Matt's trying to stall.

Due to the severe crappyness of AOL of late, I have no idea when these quotes are from, other than imbetween the 8th and the 20th. Here they are though:

"What? You think that in the entire history of man, a guy never scrathced his balls and smelled his hand? I don't think 'Hmm, I wonder what my balls smell like?,' but it happens!" - Bill MacKay, on the scent of balls

"This can be quite annoying...like Naija!" - Mr. Platek, on Naija's book spinning

"Naija! STOP! FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GAY! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO OUTSIDE OF CLASS, BUT I JUST DON'T THINK THAT'S APPROPREATE FOR A CLASSROOM ENVIORNMENT!" - Howard, on Naija's...well...guess.

December 31, 2000: "Is he bringing beer?" - MY DAD on me going to Erica's. Not mad, like he would kill me if I was, but asking if I was supposed to bring it like you'd bring a gift to a party.

January 3, 2001: "Why, because of his mom?" - Shari, on why the House of Action has so much action.

January 10, 2001: "God is a walrus...Coo-coo-ca-choo, bitch." - Granger, on "walrus" knows what

January 12, 2001: "WHY ARE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS SO TALL???" - Laurren (little Flynn), on being surrounded by me, Roger, Voltron (the man), the Tenor Towers, Wilson, and Jose.

Runner up for January 12, 2001: "MR. CAB!!!" - Matt and Roger from the balcony as I walked out on stage DURING the concert.

January 20, 2001: "Hey, you two! This isn't The Hop!" - My mom, on me and Shari (trying to be) dancing at the Spaghetti Dinner

January 21, 2001: "Don't worry; The streets are safe when Jonathan roams them." - My dad, on Jonathan, who then told me about the Police men they just fled from.

January 27, 2000: "Jason...what's that on your neck?" - My mom, on...yeah...damn

January 30, 2001: "Hey...that's not how you play Ping-Pong!" - Jesse Powell, on the Ping-Pong WAR that was starting in Anand's basement.

February 1, 2001: "Miss Yoon could make PORNOGRAPHY boring" - Roger, making true statements about Miss Yoon.

February 3, 2001: "Don't come home with any decorations this time" -My mom, upon dropping me off at Shari's. I came home with a decorative smily face sticker.

February 5, 2001: "What month is this? September or October?" - Aaron Reiser, a victom of advanced Senioritis.

February 6, 2001: "How dare you walk past me without sending a kiss!" - Mazzetti, to Danny Jaye. Don't ask.

February 7, 2001: "No, I'm not pissing on the hidrant. I don't need to lift my leg to do that." - Matt, on his leg being lifted near a hydrant.

February 8, 2001: "She's like the Yoda of the book" - Josh in English class, on Baby Suggs (in the book Beloved).

February 12, 2001: "Has anyone seen a nut? I lost my nut." - A drummer in stage band.

February 15, 2001: "Garth...salavating in his own juices." - Roger, on Garth being an ass (on a spit)

February 16, 2001: "That's it, I'm going in to get it." - Roger, on getting a dollar from Rebecca. Did I mention the dollar was in her....

February 18, 2001: "Dude, your name should be Ultimo!" - Roger, to (Ul)Timo Perez. Timo promptly ran away.

February 20, 2001:TIE! "Nobody has the coordination for that, not even a three eyed Momagoose" - Jesse Burros, to which I replied... "NO MAN farts like Herarto!" which was a dumb joke started earlier and would have outright won if not for Jesse.

February 21, 2001 (so far): "Death comes in many forms...one of them is a microwavable bag." - Sarah Greene, on the bag of popcorn on the train. This wasn't even related to my alergies mind you.

Februaru 23, 2001: "I'm going to rape your stuff and steal your wife!" - Mangan, threatening me to make me play football.

February 25, 2001: "Damn it, just say 'dude' and GET OUT!" - Lauren demanding that I stop staring at the lava lamp in her room

February 26, 2001: "Isn't amking out easier than talking?" - Mangan, while talking to me...wait a minute...

February 28, 2001: "Hell, if it were a woman, I'd ask Shea to marry me." - Jackson, on whether or not Shea Stadium is lovable.

March 3, 2001: "Doo do do do" - The chorus, singing the band's part in "Time Steady Man" at the Open House for the 8th graders that made Stuy. They are dumb.

March 4, 2001: "You guys are funny" - Some guy on the 1/9, refering to Wilson Cristina Jesicca Jenn and I.

March 8, 2001: "Just go to the prayer shack!" - Mike, in Medical Ethics, as "Christian Healer Nick", on what the "sick child" (Jake (the Snake) as a Herpes victim) should do. We still don't know what a prayer shack is

March 9, 2001: "Wait, wait...doesn't math KNOW that that's going to happen? I mean...so that you only need one integral? Shouldn't it know or something?" - Some girl in calculus. MATH KNOWS ALL!!!!!

March 13, 2001: "Wow, Dan?s really hot!" - Jackson, upon seeing my photos of Dano in drag.

March 16, 2001: "They're after your lucky charms, Niraj!" - Roger, to Niraj, who was wearing ALL green.

March 21, 2001: "What do you have to do to fail this class? I showed up late every single day, I didn't go at all 6 times, I left enough questions off the test to lose 30 points so I knew I would fail, and I didn't go on the field trip I signed up for, and I STILL got an S!" - Jesse Burros, dissapointed in Mr. Ng.

March 23, 2001: "It's hard to say no to a refridgerator when you're hungry." - Steve Blau, on something, I forget what, but it was funny at the time.

April 9, 2001: "C'mon! Give him a pickle up the ass!" - Some drunk guy at Shea, demanding pickles up the braves' ass

April 12, 2001: "My balls are frozen in spherical ice cubes" - Nolan, on the cold.

April 21, 2001: "Can we make out now?" - Shari after sing.

April 22, 2001: "What's she going to do, call the police?" - Roger, after some girl at the party demanded we move so the police wouldn't come and break the party up.

May 1, 2001: "NO! What are you going to do when I come to visit? I don't want to be on top!" - Shari, on what will happen when she has to sleep in the top bunk of the bed in my dorm. What were you thinking?

May 3, 2001: "What did you do this time?" - Ethan the stage band drummer, on my flower I was to give to Shari.

May 4, 2001: "I wish the top button of her shirt wasn't open..." - A disgruntled Mike Abriano, on Miss Hall's crazy conducting patterns and fabulous breasts

May 9, 2001: "You must orgasm in a timely fassion" - Roberto, on EFFICIENT German Sex.

May 29, 2001: "...they're trying to wake up to the vastness of tomato soup..." - Asher in English, on White Noise.

May 30, 2001: "HEY BARRY! I GOTTA WORK IN THE MORNING!" - A digruntled fan at an 18 inning ball game in SF featuring the Giants and D-Backs. (D-Backs won 1-0)

June 2, 2001: "I LOVE dirty white boys." - A kindly drunk guy on the bus on Paul O'Neil. He paid my bus fair...he's cool.

June 15, 2001: "He'll make you McPay!" - Shari, on what Joe Mc, LITTLE MAC, will do to the Yankees.

June 19, 2001: "He's very bangable there..." - Cristina, on Wilson in the year book.

June 24, 2001: "She makes me do it...she makes me run around like a monkey, and then we make crazy monkey love!!! AH HA HA HA HA!" - Jonathan, for some ungoldly reason.

July 1, 2001: "I was just thinking how i wished I was a stinking pile of poo and then I changed my mind" - Sarah Greene, after hearing about the Great Mighty Poo

August 6, 2001: "That man could use a Mike's Hard Lemonaide." - The Law, on a man on SNL who got his hand cut off

September 3, 3001: " No more sex? At Goucher you never run out of Lays!" - The Matt-Jackson entity, after I said I was out of Lays (meaning the potato chip)

September 10ish: "Tell Profoes he did a profoes" - Mike, on Profoes

September 21, 2001: "Maybe this was meant to be..." - The Braves guy on TBS, upon Mike Piazza hitting a really really really high fly ball that cleared the center field fence.

September 23, 2001: "It just looks like a normal game between 2 bad teams." - The Jets radio comentator on the Jets Patriots game...damn it all!

September 27, 2001: "Strago's gonna rape you, cause..." - Crazy Andrew, on Strago's entrance in FF6

October 9, 2001: "Skiing is way better than sex." - Dan from next door. He is already sorry he said that.

October 15, 2001: "The only thing I've ever found to be infinate is a person's stupidity." - Some guy in the math & science building

October 21, 2001: To the tune of Umaro's theme in FF6: "I am Granger and I will kick yo mama's ass!" - Me, after the theme started playing and Mike said "GRANGER!" (READ THWACK!)

October 22, 2001: "Yup, power naps are important." - Jackson, on college sleeping habits

October 25, 2001: "You guys are making a lot of noise. I'm trying to masterbate, and I keep thinking of you when I'm trying to think about your mom! (turns to Greller)Are you new here? I'm your RA, Alex." - Greller's new RA Alex, on Greller & roomie playing Madden 2002 late at night. Nice way to meet your RA

November 9, 2001: "FUUUUUCK! ....I donno, I just felt like saying that." - Andrew (who says FUCK), when entering his room

November 19, 2001: "It's like the 'BOO-YAH' key" - Tom, trying to play Alto Sax, refering to the Octave key

December 5, 2001: "TO CONVERT THE HETHANS!!!" - Aaron, in english, in response to "What is the purpose of chants?"

December 14, 2001: "ANDREW, COME BACK, MY COCK MISSES YOU!" - Mitch, to crazy Andrew, to which Andrew replied "And I love your cock!"

January 1, 2002: "Z blocks are the crooked penis of tetris that screws you up the ass" - Flynn, watching people struggle to put those pesky Z's into place

January 11, 2002: "I can BS with the best of them when i have to" - my mom, on a principal's conference she has to attend on attendance.

February 6, 2002: "Blow me temple?" - Mike, upon entering Belome temple in Mario RPG...as if Nintendo would put Blow Me anything into a game

February 13, 2002: "I wanted to go to class, but you see, after waking up I hd 40 minutes of crippling diarrhea." - Ian, on missing comp sci.

March 20, 2002: "You know what the British wore when they went into battle? THEY WORE RED! FLAAAAMING RED! HERE I AM, SHOOT ME!!! - My European History Teacher

April 8, 2002: "And now for the update on the Buffolo Bills and Drew Bledsoe...(pause)...No news." - The Sports News guy on the NBC local news at 11 up here.

April 16, 2002: "Damn it, I was watching porn!" - Dan, on the fire alarm going off

April 23, 2002: "That's a biiig man." - Jeramia, on MOOOOOOOO Vaugn.

April 30, 2002: "Dude, you need to become an alchoholic" - Someone in the hall near the store to someone else in the hall near the whore...err, store

May 4, 2002: "OH MY GOD, HE'S MASTURBATING!" - CrAzY Andrew, on someone else. I door slam was heard somewhere in there too.

May 8, 2002: "The foundation of power was so lop-sided that all you really needed was a little guy with boots and a mustache to kick the door down and BOOM! the whole thing colapses." - My history teacher, in his ranting voice, on the attrociousness of the WW1 peace settlement.

May 19, 2002: "Come on, hall wiffle ball is the greatest sport ever!" - Mitch. Gotta love the college drunks.

May 20, 2002: "Well, I took care of 2 things at once. Took a piss, called my mom." - Mike, entering the room holding a phone. Note to self: Don't use that phone

May 22, 2002: "Now it may look like a long shot, but Rey Ordonez is the tying run at the plate, and he has homered in this building" - Howie Rose, either becoming desparate or speaking of just how pitiful Ordonez is, I'm not sure.

May 29, 2002: "Yeah...well you have an inny!" - Roger, trying to insult Jackson

June 2, 2002: "And the earth shook." -Gary Thorne, on MOOOOOOOOOO Vaugn's big landing after making a nice diving catch

June 29, 2002: "Hey, we're the Fucking Army!" - Someone. Roger said "Flynn, you've been drafted into the Army" after my name was picked out of the hat for picking teams, and the teams had no names yet, so it ended up being the Fucking Army against the God Damn Navy. The game was called after 4.5 due to sucky-ness.

July 4, 2002: "What did you say, the Ninja?" - Shari's crazy cousin Rachel, mistaking "Throw the change up" for "Throw the ninja". Yeah, a sword was sticking out of the stick after that pitch.

July 26, 2002: "He's like, 'Oh God, that dog is cooler than I am.'" - Shari, on this stone faced guy wearing an "Abortion is Genocide" T-shirt (who's daughter had a "proud to be Chatholic" T-shirt), while also looking at this cool dog with one of those concert glow sticks around its neck.

July 27, 2002: "Mike is fat in relative terms..." - Wilson, to which Roger replied, "Yeah, compared to uh, people"

August 4, 2002: "Even with MO POWER it was impossible to overcome KING GONZO THE GREAT AMAZING AND ALL POWERFUL AND HIS MINIONS OF DEATH" - Mike, on the Mets losing despite hitting 4 HRs.

August 5, 2002: "No Jay, YOU are the holiday confection." - Shari, calling me a fruitcake.

August 11, 2002: "OW!...My God Amelia's Hot!" - Tino, on Amelia. Did I mention Amelia is a laptop?

August 17, 2002: "You know...if we smoked 2 more joints, we would have smoked 2 joints before smoking 2 joints! And if we smoke 2 more joints later, we would have smoked 2 joints before smoking 2 joints before smoking 2 joints!" - The Ramblings of a stoner

August 18, 2002: "It's, 'My nipples and I'" - Roger, correcting Karen's grammar.

August 24, 2002: "How could he think we were in New York? The Pasta's terrible here" - Mike Piazza, on Ultimo's "Hot Doggin'" after hitting the HR to end the dreaded 12 game losing streak.

September 9, 2002: "Alright, I'm going to go etch my name into the toilet." - Shaggy Matt, after waking up from a long...afternoon's....one hour nap.

September 10, 2002: "Okay, I think Steve's being too serious and Mie's being too serious has raised the level of seriocity so much that it's at a point we should both leave." - Me, on Steve and Mike being too serious about playing Smash Melee. And by we should both leave, I meant myself, gabe, Mike, and Steve should "both" leave.

September 14, 2002: "I know, that's why I added the ball" - Me, in the middle of the Hobo joke, after Ian said I was telling it too fast. As noted by the adding of the ball, the problem was quickly remidied.

September 22, 2002: Oh, it's not the same as jerking off in NYC. - Alex Brash, on jerking off in his single.

September 28, 2002: "There are girls in here, so don't come out!...unless you want too." - Two tipsy ladies, to the guy in the shower of the co-ed bathroom. They left the bathroom saying "We love you"....hmmm...

October 4, 2002: "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot." - Random Boston guy at the T (read: subway) stop.

October 5, 2002: "I have a funny image...George Steinbrenner crying tonight" - Shari...is it a funny sentence, no...is it a funny image, hellz yea.

October 11, 2002: "Remember what we learned today, super bunny monkeys will lose to ninjas." - Me, on Donkey Kong with bunny ears falling to Sheik.

October 25, 2002: "Because when you have deep conversations with people who do have dicks, the conversation inevitably revolves around the fact that, "HEY! i have a dick too!" - Shaggy Matt, on wanting female contact.

October 28, 2002: "Yes, because knowing how to play Smash Brothers is an important social skill" - Britanny, stating nothing less than the truth.

November 2, 2002: "CONSTIPATION!...Hey, that sounds like the name of a board game" - Shaggy Matt, while using Luigi's B and forward move. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you obviously didn't listen to Brittany.

November 23, 2002: "That was sorta good...just too long. It takes AN HOUR to say." - My cousin Stephen on THE HOBO JOKE

November 27, 2002: "Even Jesus wasn't God until he was 30" - My dad.

December 3, 2002: "Because I have better things to do with my time...like I donno, stab myself in the eye!" - My Software Engineering teacher, on pointless meetings.

February 7, 2003: "Don't worry Jon, i've got your back...and by that I mean I'm attacking it." - Ian, on me hunting Jon in Smash

February 13, 2003: "I summon Granger, and enchant him with a '+2 of DOOM!'" - Jon, mixing up munchkin and Thwack

February 15, 2003: "We need more monkeys!" - Me, on Time Splitters two multi-player.

February 21, 2003: "I demand a chance to rape sheep!" - Me, saying sheep instead of Sheik during a brain lapse

March 13, 2003: "You don't want to forget the second equal sign...then you get the 'it is now' operator. 'Is x equal to 3? IT IS NOW!'" - Reek in my C class.

March 17, 2003: "Excuse me, but, could you turn down your volume?" - A girl in my Middle Eastern politics class to Prof. Kaylani.

March 28. 2003: "You know, maybe we'll just start watching Met games" - A disgruntled Yankee fan on the YES on Cablevision situation.

April 1, 2003: "There's a party, and it's all in my mom" - Cristina from CS1 Lab, on the party.

April 7, 2003: "Oh yeah, shooting arrows at big round things makes me feel closer to God" - Becky, on the wellness paper we were apparently required to write in Archery. Spiritual wellness was an option.

April 10, 2003: "You know, we still haven't found the (chemical) weapons in Iraq. Now they're saying Syria has weapons. Maybe Syria's next! It's like potato chips, once you have on you can't stop!" - The Great and Esteemed Professor Kaylani, on Iraq

April 12, 2003: "I'd fuck a green M&M" - Ian, after I said "It's the green M&M, that's the girl one."

April 13, 2003: "They burn with the fires of righteousness!" - Ian, on why his hands were so warm.

April 19, 2003: "Is he the one with the doom?" - Jon's friend Beck Beck, guessing who i was.

April 20, 2003: "My organs, they sqeak with the vengeance of hampsters" - Brittany, explaining stomach growlings

April 25, 2003: "You'd get a Gelatinous Orgy" - Matt, on what happens if two Gelatinous cubes of the same type attack each other

April 29, 2003: "They should drown" - Reek, on a pro java statement on the board

April 30, 2003: (Defiantly)"BULL SHIT! I've been this way my entire life! - Ian, on being insane.

May 4, 2003: "Because you dropped your pants at Wallmart" - Jay responding Ian saying "Why am I the worst off?"

May 17, 2003: "I've hugged a bush" - Crazy Liz...say it out loud and you'll get it.

And in june there was silence....

July 13, 2003...I think: "He had her at Schmutz" - Granger, on hell freezing over...I mean Cohen talking to "Janet" (I believe her name is Killi?...or at least pronounced "kee' lee")

July 28, 2003: "Winner: me
Loser: Julia, after requesting the hobo joke and receiving a particularly well told version with total run time of 26:30" - Cohen, on the best joke ever.

August 4, 2003: "Stop! Be an adult! Now go eat your raw cookie dough and be quiet." - Shari on cookie dough.

August 18, 2003: "Oh yeah, I didn't recognize you either at first...what with the clothing and all." - Granger, on his powers of observation regarding Keele(?)

August 20, 2003: "That's a boy eggplant!" - Shari, on a weird looking eggplant with what looked like a smaller eggplant convinielntly growing on it.

September 6, 2003: "You, keep his hands busy!" - Brittany, to Beck, refering to Jon, so Jon's hands would stop doing bad things.

September 7, 2003: "Girls aren't company Jay. If you have a girl you're trying to mack it to over there, just say so!" - Someone on the other end of the phone.

Swptember 10, 2003: "Tino, wake up! You must see this wonderful wonderful thing they call baseball!" - Tino's roomie Andrew, watching his first Met game.

September 14, 2003; (meekly)"I'm the Black Bull! Mauyaaa!" - Me, accidently making Black Bull into a pansy.

September 21, 2003: "I've heard of exploration in college but this is ridiculous" - Roger, on me playing volleyball for SWE.

September 24, 2003: "I put 'I have been a toys-r-us kid for 20 years!'" - Ian, answering the question "How were you referred to us (Toys R Us)?"

September 25, 2003: "I always appriciate a woman who shaves." - David Attell, on hearing a girl yell that she had written his name upon her chest.

September 27, 2003: "Well, you don't look like you're having seizures when you're dancing..." - Brittany on me trying to dance...the key word there is trying.

September 29, 2003: "And you can't share chopsticks...well you could but it'd be kinda kinky." - Reek, on sharing chopsticks for eating rice.

September 30, 2003: "I saw the word 'goto' and stopped reading." - Tay, checking over my Systems Programming project.

October 7, 2003: "Oh my God, the met was pregnant!" - Ian, on the mets in Stone Man's stage

October 8, 2003: "So now one hangs lower than than the other, but they're both back in place." - Ian, upon being asked "What happened!?"

October 15, 2003: "The elevator needs to be a Gladiator, you have to fight to get on!" - Jon, on the Monitor we were mking in OS1.

October 18, 2003: "I'm sorry that women aren't attracted to your plump balding ass," - Beck, on a past scenario.

October 24, 2003 - "Dont poke my spine!!!" - Brittany, upon Devin poking around in the wrong places

October 28, 2003 - "I need to experience this 'Cheeseless Nirvana.' - Reiser, on hearing the spreading tales of my good pizza making.

November 12, 2003: "It needs to be a manly page." - Reek, on Paged memory and large ones...not all that funny unless you know Reek though.

November 29, 2003: "I know you said diorama, but I couldn't pass up the chance to say diarrhea." - Ian, after saying diarrhea.

November 30, 2003: "Yeah, but they don't say she has an explosive vagina!" - Ian, on Peach pulling the occational bob-omb out of the ground

December 7, 2003: ""WHO MADE THIS GAME!?!?!" - Jon, looking at pictures of the classes in FFX2. Please note HE HASN'T PLAYED THE GAME YET!

DAYS LEFT UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY

DAYS LEFT UNTIL IT'S 5 YEARS AFTER MY MOM SAID "IN 5 YEARS" IN RESPONSE TO "CAN I TAKE THE CAR TO THE GAME AND TAILGATE?" BE THERE!