Dirty StevenThis week I have a story about a friend that I hung out with during my youth. His nickname used to be Dirty Steven. We called him that because he never used to take a bath. Period. But actually, we found out, years later, that he actually took some baths but actually wore the same exact clothes every day. Or at least had doubles of the clothes he wore. So thus, we called him Dirty Steven. It was a strange habit indeed, but we always hung out with him regardless. Dirty Steven used to curse at his mother when he was a teenager. For example, we (a group of us) used to play Touch Football outside his apt bldg. in the Bronx, NY. It was a two story brick Bldg. Nothing fancy. His mother would then call out the window to him: “STEVEN, ITS DINNER TIME, GET IN THE HOUSE!” and Steven used to yell back: “SHUT THE FUCK UP, I’M PLAYING FOOTBALL!!” I’m not kidding here at all guys. Well, all us kids would start laughing and peeing in our pants so she had no choice but to come outside with a broom and chase his ass. Steven had a great arm for throwing a football, you would swear that football was fired from a rifle when he smashed it dead center against your chest. Steven’s mom caught up to him real quick. The problem that happened was that Dirty Steven wore these black 2 inch heel platform shoes. He never wore sneaker back then. Don’t email me because I don’t know why. There were Cool black platform shoes that you would see in movies like “Superfly” and such. To top it off, he would always wear them with white tube socks. And his pants were always black. Anyway, She got one or two solid whacks at his head with the broom but quickly got tired of running after him. He turned and yelled again to her: “YOU STUPID IDIOT!!” “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!” after that “cute” comment, she decided to pick up some gravel from right there in the street and pelted him real good. MAN, THOSE WERE THE DAYS...Non Stop Laughs...funny, but he never ever really hated her. I don’t know why he said those things or whom he learned them from. Later on, as he got a little older, he changed his attitude and behavior towards her and really treated her well from that point on. Dirty Steven’s life was also full of torment from some of the other kids in the neighborhood. There used to be this kid whose first name was “Guy”. Guy also lived in an apartment building directly behind Dirty Steven’s small building. Guy, from his kitchen window, used to love throwing old rotten onions by the dozen into Dirty Steven’s back yard. Dirty Steven’s yard was a small one with enough room to only stand about 10 skinny people. Guy used to call Steven from his window to let him know the onions were ripe and ready to be picked. Obi 1/15/02 |
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