Obi

What a presence he makes
a trouble-seeking black missle
sleek and streamlined
made for mischief
sleek and streamlined
spraying pee like the Pope blesses
whenever he gets excited
which is whenever we see him
(I would he would get less excited).
Obi, a dog with personality to spare,
a canine Dennis the Menace
a four-legged Bobcat Goldthwait
sharking around with slobberous tongue
teeth at the ready for anything pliable	Click Here for Online Obi Shopping!
the post-Obi landscape	Me & ma Send me mail or I'll give you the Paw My Resume
is littered with chewed paper, stray bones and slobbered-on socks
tables askew and then we know
hurricane Obi hath landed.
Ob' has the saliva of 10 dogs,
you throw his toys
and feel the back spiral of spit
and after awhile you just don't care
that you are ankle deep in dog urine
and speckled with dog spit.
A great dog he is
living life large when out of he crate
and who can blame him?

Dog HAIKU

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

Today I sniffed
Many dog fannies; I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot, no greater bliss--well,
Maybe catching rats.

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

I sound the alarm!
Meter reader--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

The cat is not all
Bad; she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat--come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more; I call
Them a vocation.

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot--
Sniff this and weep.

I love my master
I perfume his shoes
okay, it's pee
but it's happy pee.

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

My dog loves me
this I know
because my shoes tell me so
he's left happy pee on them.

"A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you
cannot enjoy it." H. Thomson

"Won't be long means nothing to a dog. All he knows is that you are GONE."
Jane Swan

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