Meet The Parents

Jack Byrnes: I will be watching you. Greg Focker: Do I think you're crazy? YES! Jack Byrnes: Well, Greg, when you have a bunch of Fockers running around your house, you'll feel the need for security. Jack Byrnes: I mean, can you really trusy another human being, Greg? Greg Focker: Yeah, I think so. Jack Byrnes: No. The answer is you can not. Jack Byrnes: I'm just curious, did you pick the color of the car? Greg Focker: Uh no, the guy at the window did, why? Jack Byrnes: Well they say geniuses pick green. Greg Focker: Oh. Jack Byrnes: But you didn't pick it. Greg Focker: I'm gonna go upstairs and pay a visit to the shower fairy. Jack Byrnes: His parents gotta be decent people if they named their son Gaylord Focker. Jack Byrnes: Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security. [Greg is trying to fit his large bag into the overhead bin.] Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to check that. Greg "Gaylord" Focker: I got it. Flight Attendant: No, I'm sorry, that bag won't fit. Greg "Gaylord" Focker: No, no, I'm not--hey, I'm not checking my bag, okay? Flight Attendant: There's no need to raise your voice, sir. Greg "Gaylord" Focker: I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay? Flight Attendant: Well, I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage... Greg "Gaylord" Focker: Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Huh? Are you physically going to take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you going to go right now outside, with the guys with the earmuffs, and go put it in there? Flight Attendant: No... Greg "Gaylord" Focker: No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION! Greg "Gaylord" Focker: The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip, then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch. Jack Byrnes: Oh, geez. I just thought of something. Dina Byrnes: What? Jack Byrnes: Pam's middle name. Dina Byrnes: Martha. ...Oh, no. Jack Byrnes, Dina Byrnes: Pamela Martha Focker! Jack Byrnes: I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown! Greg Focker: Hey Jack, why don't you tell 'em about your little phone call in Thai. Dina Byrnes: Jack can't talk Thai. Greg Focker: Oh no, Dina, Jack talked Thai. Jack talked Thai real well. Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples. Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me? Greg Focker: Check my pulse on this question, Jack, do I think you're a psycho? Yes! Jack Byrnes: I understand you may have had sexual relations with my daughter before, but under our roof, it's my way or the Long Island Expressway! So just keep your snake in its cage for 72 hours. ~ Home ~ Movies ~ Songs ~ Anonymous ~ Women ~ ~ Friendship ~ Life and Success ~ Poems ~ Shakespeare ~ Star Trek ~