Steel Magnolias

Clairee: I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park. Truvy: Yeah, how did that go? Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous. Truvy: Was she hurt? Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head. Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight. Truvy: Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face. Shelby: Pink is my signature color. [Referring to her daughter's many pink wedding decorations.] M'Lynn: That church looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol. Ouiser: I am just about at the end of my rope with you. Drum: Well, then why don't you tie a noose and slip it 'round your head? Truvy: I kind of like hiring somebody with a past. Clairee: She can't be more than eighteen. She hasn't had time to have a past. Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past. Ouiser: I don't see plays, 'cause I can nap at home for free. And I dont see movies 'cause they're trash, and they ain't got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries. Ouiser: This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell. Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake? [Ouiser slices him the tail piece of an armadillo cake.] Drum: Thanks Ouiser, nothing like a good piece of ass! Annelle: I think we should pray. Sammy: I'd rather eat dirt!! [About the new mayor's wife dancing.] Clairee Belcher: Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket. Truvy: When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. Clairee Belcher: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Bruce, Rick, or Steve. Shelby: Well, we went skinny dipping and we did things that frightened the fish. Annelle Dupuy Desoto: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. Shelby: Truvy, you know what you need in here? You need a radio, takes the pressure off of everyone feeling they have to talk so much. Truvy: I had one once, but I threw it up against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome. Shelby: I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money. Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me! Truvy: I'm just screamin' at my husband; I can do that any time! Clairee Belcher: They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes. Truvy: Oh, Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. Ouiser: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God. Ouiser: I'm not as sweet as I used to be. Truvy: I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence. Clairee Belcher: I love ya more than my luggage. Ouiser Boudreaux: You are a pig from hell. Ouiser Boudreaux: You are too twisted for color TV! Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not crazy, I've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years! Clairee Belcher: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. Ouiser: My God, you look different. Have you shrunk? [Sammy is wearing an Easter bunny contume] Annelle Dupuy Desoto: We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant! Louisa 'Ouiser' Boudreaux: Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied. Annelle Dupuy Desoto: I suspected this all along! vLouisa 'Ouiser' Boudreaux: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken! Annelle Dupuy Desoto: Not on your first visit! Clairee Belcher: Very good, Annelle! You've spoken like a true smart-ass! ~ Home ~ Movies ~ Songs ~ Anonymous ~ Women ~ ~ Friendship ~ Life and Success ~ Poems ~ Shakespeare ~ Star Trek ~