A liar and a Gentlemen

The very first time Doreen set eyes on Ezekiel Umunna, she fell in love. He was really tall, dark skinned with a beautiful even complexion. Goddamn! she thought to herself as soon as she laid eyes on him at the reception of a colleague's wedding. Evidently he was with a bunch of guys because they all seemed huddled in a group laughing and cavorting. Still, she could not take her eyes off him.
"Omo, who are you staring at abeg?" asked Linda walking up to her "I have been calling you from over there since"
"Oh, nobody oh" said Doreen quickly and followed her friend Linda into the hall where people were busy eating and drinking. Meanwhile the object of her affection Easy as he was called by his friends was trying to hook up with one pretty lady that had just served him some food
"So maybe we can go out tonight to Steven's?" Easy asked the girl whose name was Ifeyinwa.
"Mmm, I'm going to be busy tonight sha, maybe some other time" said Ifeyinwa
"Ah, ah don't be like that now, its just going to be a chilling out kind of thing you know, no pressure" said Easy looking at her straight in the eyes. His ex-girlfriends had always told him that his look could melt any girl. Apparently it worked this time
"Well, ok, but it won't be tonight, maybe next weekend" replied Ifeyinwa
"Cool, give me your GSM number and I will call you ok? So we can set up a date" Easy said as he walked her back to her friends. Easy never considered himself to be a playboy but to use his own words he had a way with women and he was rarely without a girlfriend. His current girlfriend Bola was starting to misbehave so he was considering giving her the boot. One of his close friends told him about a sexual excapade he had with Bola and he was so angry at her though he had decided not to confront her, nevermind that he had slept with a couple of Bola's friends too. He also hoped that he would have some spare cash the following week to take the girl out. From the corner of his eye, he say a girl pointing discreetly at him, it seemed the girl knew him because she were looking at him and giggling to some other girls she was with. So he decided to go over there and say hi.
"Hi ladies, how are you doing?"
"Hi" said Doreen thanking her stars he decided to come over and say hi "how are you doing?" replied Doreen
"Oh sorry, I thought I knew you from somewhere" said Easy "My name is Ezekiel Umunna."
"My name is Doreen Uwaezuoke and sorry if I was pointing at you, that's because you looked familiar" apologized Doreen still giving Ezekiel the once-over. She really liked what she saw. Reminded her of Brandy's "Full Moon" and she was ready to get cracking whenever he was.
"So where could we have met, I don't remember meeting you?" asked Easy
"Did you go to Unilag?" asked Doreen
"Actually I went to UniJos" replied Easy "but where do you work, Doreen?"
"I work for a small computer servicing firm in Apapa" replied Doreen
"Hmm, I guess thats out too, and I don't go to church regularly so it can't be church either but anyway, it was nice meeting you" said Easy smiling then he turned and on seeing his friends beckon to him, he turned back to Doreen "Ok, I'll be taking off now, I came with a few friends" he said
"Hmm, wait, don't go. I have never, ever done this in my life but can you call me?" asked Doreen as she handed him a complimentary card. Whoa! thought Ezekiel as he took the card because he was almost blown over by the sheer impetus of the lady. He did not like it at all. He preferred his women a little less forward but at the same time, it felt good to be admired by a lady. A lot of girls wanted the men to do all the legwork when it came to forming a relationship, preferring to keep their feelings all hidden until they were sure of the guy. Well, he thought to himself, putting Doreen's card in the pocket of his trousers, I'll see if I'll call her.

A couple of weeks later, over dinner at his house with Ifeyinwa, the last thought on his mind was Doreen when something on the television caught his eye. It was Doreen talking! He picked up the remote control and increased the volume of the TV. She was talking about some new medication used for treating hypertension and she seemed pretty knowledgeable about her subject. Easy continued with his meal and conversation with Ifeyinwa. He really liked Ifybaby as he called her and hoped to have a relationship with her but at the same time was intrigued by this lady who told him she worked at a small computer firm and was on TV talking about drugs and health.

"Hey honey, can you help me with that bag? Its too heavy for me" asked Doreen
"Ok, as soon as I am done with this one" said Easy as he dragged a big box to the trunk of the car.
"Thanks honey" said Doreen giving Easy a big kiss as she went into the house. She was very happy, she and Easy were going to Abuja to visit her favorite auntie. Ever since she got married to Easy 2 years ago, everything seemed to be blissful. He was a very loving husband who was easy going. He was also very kind and nice to her. But you know, there was always a serpent in paradise. For some reason, Easy did not get along with her twin sister Doris and it was weird because normally, Doris got along with everybody. It was her, Doreen that had a lot of problems enjoying other people's company.She hoped that the trip to Abuja would be a success because Doris was also going to be there with her boyfriend.
"Honey, hurry up, we have to leave" said Easy as he got behind the wheel of their Lexus. Apart from Doreen being financially successful, things had really taken off for him ever since meeting Doreen. He had his own business now, importing cars and selling them and also imported other things from time to time whenever there was a demand for them. He knew a lot of people felt he married Doreen because she was from a wealthy home and successful in her own right, he did not care because he knew that was not strictly true. Yes, the money was part of the attraction but he firmly believed he would have married her anyway because she was very comfortable to be around and she did not nag him while they were dating. But her twin sister Doris was really a thorn in his flesh. Damn! that girl was so annoying, he always felt like choking her anytime she opened her mouth. She was always gabbling about one thing or the other, he really hated her. He wasn't looking forward to the trip to Abuja at all but he would do it anyway, just to please Doreen who he knew was really unhappy about the relationship between him and her sister.

"Here we go again" Easy thought to himself as Doris went into this hopelessly long tale about being stranded in Paris, "What in the world is wrong with this fool? I find it hard to believe she shares the same genes as my wife." The dinner was painfully long for Easy but finally it was over and he could go back upstairs with his lovely wife. It wad funny how good he felt about his wife, ever since he married her, he had only strayed once and that was because Doreen was pregnant. She had later lost the baby but since then he had been faithful to her because he knew how much it would hurt her if she caught him cheating. But women, he thought to himself shaking his head as he climbed the stairs, they just loved to tempt men with their clothes, their gait and their attitudes. They were so hard to resist and yet one still felt contemptuous towards them. Contemptuous because they had all the power to seduce men and were still insecure in themselves.
"Honey, ready for bed?" asked his wife as he opened the door to the guest room they were sleeping in. Auntie Efosa who was related to his wife by marriage had fantastic taste in decorating. The room looked so lovely with its wood panelling, soft velour loveseat and the prettiest bedroom set he had ever seen. The carving on the headborad was beyond description and still the room did not look overbearing or overdone, it looked just right.
"Hmm, yes my darling. I am ready for you honey" and he gave her a soft peck on her left cheek. Doreen laughed softly and kissed him fully on his lips. She liked his lips, they were soft, full and shaped like a heart.
"I love you, baby" she whispered into his ear as she bit him gently. "I have some good news too" she said smiling at him
"I'm all ears, my sweet " he replied turning her face gently to his with his right hand. She snuggled deeper into the crook of his arm and sighed "I think I'm pregnant, I'm almost sure"
"Whoa!!!!!!!!!!! Great!!!!!!! I am so happy" Easy screamed
"Hey calm down, people are trying to get some sleep you know" Doreen said, pulling him down to the bed from which he had jumped off a few minutes earlier
"I don't care, I'm so happy!" Easy replied, jumping off the bed again "I know it will be a boy, I'm so positive"
"Please I want a girl to dress up in ribbons abeg.
"Fine, we will have a boy and a girl then. We will have twins." said Easy sitting down on the bed beside her and holding her right hand
"Actually I don't want... Easy put his lips over hers, cutting her off and giving her a long, long kiss
"Whoo" panted Doreen at the end of the kiss, "now thats the meaning of breathless"
"Well, how about this?" Easy asked ticking her "Is this breathless too?"
"Oh, sweetheart" Doreen breathed as she kissed him "I really love you"
As Doris undressed for bed, she heard giggling in the opposite room where Doreen and Easy were and she wondered briefly what they were giggling about. Doris was glad that her sister was happy but she was a bit wary of Easy. She did not quite trust him. Her sister could be a little naive when it came to men but she, Doris considered herself the expert when it came to men and she wasn't too happy about Easy. Nevertheless, her sister was a grown woman and seemed very happy so she had to keep her suspicions to herself.

"I feel like I am carrying a truck" grumbled Doreen. She was now 7 months pregnant and while she no more felt so sick all the time, the load was getting too much for her and she hated being pregnant.
"I'm so sorry, but women have been doing it since the beginning of time" Easy replied as he flicked the remote control. Doreen gave him an evil look
"So?" she asked
"So, just hang in there" Easy replied still looking at the TV. Doreen grabbed a vase that was on the sidetable and threw it at him and it hit him squarely on the head
"Chineke! What did you just do?" Easy screamed
"What does it look like I just did?" Doreen retorted "I swear if you open your mouth again, I will kill you."
"Hmm, woman, this is getting too much oh" yelled Easy who was visibly irate "it seems you have no more respect"
"Why can't you be more understanding?" Doreen yelled in turn "I am pregnant and my hormones are running amok"
"Thats why you should kill me?" asked Easy "because your hormones are running amok?"
"Eh, please don't even start ok? Don't even start" said Doreen furiously waving her hand in front of Easy's face. She hissed as she walked away "Foolish man" she said.
"What!" Easy thought to himself as he was about to enter the kitchen, did this girl just call me a foolish man? Heh! I don suffer" Walking towards Doreen, furiously "Did you just call me a foolish man?" he fumed "You are really overstepping the boundaries do you know that?" he asked shaking her by both shoulders.
You better leave me alone, do you want to kill me, do you want to kill me? screamed Doreen as she tried to get out of his grip but Easy merely tightened his grip. As Doreen tried to turn around to get away from him, she fell.
"Oh, my God!You have killed me" screamed Doreen
"Oh ,my God, Doreen, are you ok? Please tell me you are ok pleaded Easy as he knelt down next to her. Doreen's face was contorted in pain as she writhed from side to side
"My back, my back, my back! she begged
"Hold on, I'm going to get some help ok" Easy said. With that, Easy rushed out of the house and ran to the next door neighbour's house.
Bam! bam! bam! pounded Easy on the neighbour's gate
"Who is that?" asked the neighbour popularly called Bature because he was an albino.
"Its me, Ezekiel please oh, come and help me. I need to get my wife to the hospital" replied Ezekiel
"Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming oh, one moment please" said Bature as he rushed to his bedroom to get his car keys. Bature rushed out of his house to the street where he saw Ezekiel looked worried and confused
"What happened?" Bature managed to ask, breathing heavily
"Its my wife, she fell, she fell." Easy replied putting his hands on his head "I'm dead, what am I going to do?"
"Calm down, let me reverse my car and then we will take here to the hospital".

"Mr. Umunna, I'm afraid we are going to have to admit your wife. The tests we did shows your wife's pressure is a little on the high side and her blood sugar is high too so we want to keep her for a few days but you can go in now and see her
"Ok, thanks" Easy replied and walked into the room where Doreen was.
"Honey, I'm so sorry" said Easy as he went to the side of the bed to give her a kiss. Doreen turned her face away to the other side. She was very unhappy with him.
Honey,1'm really sorry, ok? please forgive me" said Easy as he tried to touch her on her head. Later that night, Easy went home and called Doris to tell her what happened. Doris was very angry and came over to give Easy a piece of her mind.
"Why did you have to push her" Doris asked "you are not a very good man, you know". Easy was turned away from her, facing the window so Doris could not see his face. When Doris continued berating him, he kept quiet but after a while, he could take it no longer and he turned to her
"Can you keep quiet? she's my wife and it was a mistake. Don't think you can come to my house and shout at me" and suddenly he burst into tears. Doris was a bit shocked, she never expected to see a man cry. least of all, Easy. she now felt sorry for him and went over to give him a hug. as she turned to give him a peck, it landed on his mouth. At first, she was shocked but she gave into the pressure of his lips