CRACKS IN MY SIDEWALK.

I didn't start out like this. I swear I didn't. Dirty clothes, hair all messed up and looking pretty stupid. I am just the victim of circumstances. I should never have listened to my so called friends.Take my advice, friends are good for nobody. It started when I was 15. Innocent,the guy that used to live upstairs always had me running errands for him and rewarded me generously. He must have been at least 30 years or so I couldn't really say because I never asked. One day after I had gone to the market to buy foodstuff for him, he grabbed one of my breasts! I screamed and he let go of me quickly but that day he gave me five naira. More money than I had ever seen in my life at once. From that day onwards, he would touch my breasts and then give me some money. Eventually he progressed to sucking on my nipples. That was really erotic but still I was scared I would get pregnant so I told him and he started laughing at me and told me all about sex. By the time I was 17, I was having sex with Innocent regularly. My parents never suspected anything and Innocent did keep me in style. He bought me nice clothes, my hair always looked nice and my friends always envied me because my parents were very generous to me too.

I dated Innocent till he got married when I was 19. Even after he got married, I still hooked up with him sometimes especially since I was now in a higher institution. School was a breeze because I had a lot of male friends who took me out dancing and to real fancy restaurants. When I was 22, I met this guy named Okezie. Okezie was a sweetheart. I have to admit, I treated him like shit but he always came back. He totally adored me, never a weekend would he not offer to take me to someplace new and interesting. Sometimes I went with him and sometimes I went with more interesting offers. By the time I was serving in Kano, Okezie started talking about marriage. I wasn't too interested because I had just met this guy Ben.

Ben was huh! I have no words for Ben. He was tall, dark and handsome for starters. Made mad money doing his 419 deals and was an incurable romantic. I was yet to meet anybody that could turn me on like Ben. He was so good in bed I could never resist him. I still remember one party we went to in lagos, he wanted me in the bathroom and boyfriend was so fine I agreed. We sneaked off into the bathroom downstairs where he immediately started sucking on my breasts. I loved the way Ben sucked my nipples; very slowly and with his tongue encircling my areolas next thing he was pulling down my skirt and and when he entered me, I must have reached heaven immediately. The orgasm was so fierce, I nearly screamed out loud. After the sex, we quickly rejoined others and as soon as we got to his house we jumped on each other again. Ben was unbelievable. We took trips to Obudu cattle ranch and Oguta lake, Every moment with him was well worth it. All Ben had to do was call me and I would come running. Our sexual escapades could fill books! Long kisses under the moonlight. Don't laugh, Ben was that sort of guy and I , yours truly was that sort of girl so it came as a total shock to me when he got married in 1992. My whole world fell apart! Though I never gave up Okezie, Ben was my main man, the person I hoped to share the rest of my life with. But he went and got married to this skank named Chigozie. I was totally devastated. His friends always say Ben married Chigozie because he caught me cheating on him. Ben never actually caught me cheating. I admit, I still slept over at Okezie's house on days I told him I was at my cousin Felicia's house. I mean, I was way too smart to get caught like that. I believe one of my useless , envious girlfriends told him. And I'm seriously suspecting Chioma Iloka because she is that kind of person. She always had an eye for Ben anyway. Still, I couldn't handle Ben's marriage to someone else so when Dr. Chimezie came calling from America, I was ready!

Dr. Chimezie was a 36 yr old man that resided in Washington DC. He was well spoken and very brilliant. He told me he got a straight scholarship from high school until he finished his residency. He was that good. Dr. Chimezie was really kind to me and it was pretty much a whirlwind romance. His parents really liked me and encouraged him to marry me. We got married about a year after meeting and six months later, I had joined him in Washington DC. Of course my friends were really jealous though they had all encouraged me to marry him but I did not care about them. they all were double edged swords, advising me to marry Dr Chimezie but at the same time hating me for my good fortune. Washington DC was definitely a far cry from Nigeria. I had to gain a sense of independence I had never really needed before. I also went back to school because Chimezie wanted me to. The world was my oyster so I decided to fulfil my dreams of becoming a lawyer. Back at Unizik, I had studied Economics and I was lucky to find a school that accepted my degree from Nigeria so I only had to take a few classes before going to law school. Tha was when all my troubles started. At first it started with little things. Doc complaining when I was 5 minutes later than I told him I would be to outright taking my car keys and preventing me from going to school. We really fought because I was not about to put up with that kind of mess. Though I had two kids, I still coped very well with my studies and many people were jealous of me and my family. But as for Chimezie, he really changed on me. I have no idea what came over him. I was very good to him as a wife. I cooked and cleaned and respected him but once in a while, I had to seek solace outside the home because he worked so hard. He fell asleep before he could even crawl into bed but he was still a very good father to his kids. Still, he left me unsatisfied sexually and honestly I was going to try and manage myself until unfortunately I met Ben again. Oh my God, I don't even know if I regret or am happy about the day I was reunited with Ben again. The meeting was innocuous enough. I saw him at a seminar that I required to pass a class I had taken in my sophomore year. Ben was still as charming as ever and I could see in his eyes he still liked me. He had his wife had 3 kids by then and they were currently living 15 minutes away from my house. I invited him and his wife to join my husband and I for dinner the following week. He declined at first but later he agreed to come for dinner with his wife the next week

"Mmm, baby that feels really good" I said as I sat astride Ben. He filled me completely. I could feel his dick up to my throat and I was so weak as waves and waves of orgasms washed through me. Ben was a drug I could not resist.I seduced him, I agree I did but I didn't know what else to do. I was totally fed up with Chimezie by then and Ben was too good to resist. We met at a motel 6 at the other side of town. As far as possible from both our homes as could be. But like the old saying, every day is for the thief but one day is for the owner of the house. It was an ordinary day, Ben and I had arranged to meet on the Motel 6 at Main street and I was really happy to see him because I had not seen him for about a month as he went to Nigeria to visit his parents and the sex was even more exciting than usual. Ben was in my arms sleeping when I heard a loud knocking on the door. I was not really alarmed expecting to see the desk clerk at the door, though why he could not have called on the phone, I did not know. My jaw almost dropped when I saw a policeman at the door, my heart skipped a couple of beats.
"Mrs Chimeezey?" the officer asked in an american accent.
"Yes, how can I help you?" I asked clutching my half open blouse to my chest.
"You are under arrest for driving a stolen car" he said
"Driving a stolen car?" I repeated after him slowly "how can that be? This car belongs to me"
"Is the car registered to you, Mrs Chimeezey? he asked me
"No, it is registered to my husband, Dr Chimezie" I replied coldly, I could now see where this was going. The policeman walked back to his car and spoke into his little radio. By then Ben had woken up and came to the door, panicking. I told him to calm down because I now knew my husband had reported the car stolen.
"Ma'm, a Dr Chimeezey has reported this car stolen" said the officer, walking back up to me from his car
"But I am married to him" I replied
"According to the doctor, the two of you had been separated for 3 months now" he said, looking down at his papers
"No, we are not separated" I said, now very angry.
"I'm sorry ma'm" said the officer and with that he started to place a pair of handcuffs on my wrists. By now, I was so pissed, I started struggling with the officer and before I knew it, two more policemen had arrived on the scene and that was how they took me away to the station, kicking and screaming.

"Mrs Chimeezey,you are now free to go, the charges against you has been dropped" said the little white lady as she opened the cell door. I did not even see her, I was lost in thought. I still could not believe my husband had left me to spend the night in jail. He hung up on me when I had called from the jail phone and refused to pick up on the other occasions I had called. My heart was cold, I knew right then that I was leaving him. The son of a bitch had the nerve to treat me like a slave after I had been so good to him. Borne him two kids and everything, oh! not even hell could contain the war that would erupt as soon as I got home. No sooner did I get home that I saw my husband leaving the house in his SUV. As soon as he saw me, he turned back and went to park in front of our house. I totally ignored him and went to my room and started throwing clothes into my suitcases. To my surprise, he did not say anything, only standing at the door and watching me. As soon as I had packed enough clothes, I ran to my sons' rooms and started packing their clothes too.
"Oh,you are not going anywhere with my kids, don't you even dare!" Emeka said as he came over to where I was and snatched Ebere's shoes out of my hands.
"You don't want to start with me, Emeka. You better stay out of my way" I screamed at him
."No you stay out of my way,you prostitute!" he said "you ingrate, how could you do this to me?"
"Do what to you? What did I do to you?" I asked
"I can't believe this, you look me straight in the eye and ask me what you did to me? what you did to me? So you don't know what you did to me, right?" Emeka said, with an incredulous look on his face.
"I am a human being Emeka and I make mistakes ok? That still gives you no right to lie to the police and have me locked up" I said
"What did I do to you Juliana? I really loved you, I gave you all I could and still you persist in embarrassing me in front of the world" Emeka said slumping his shoulders in dejection
"I have no idea what you are talking about, Emeka" I said sitting down on the bed in Ebere's room. Luckily, my sons were at school so they did not have to hear all the ruckus between their father and I.
"Three months after you came here, Juliana you slept with my cousin, why of all people my cousin John?". As soon as he said that, my heart sank. Oh my God, no wonder his behavior towards me changed. I cannot believe that stupid idiot told my husband. What was he thinking? Ok, I admit, I did have sex with John on several occasions when Emeka was on call but that wasn't my fault. And as a matter of fact, I have come to this decision about me. I have a high sex drive and thats that. I was created that way and I can't help it that when a man touches me, I start shaking with passion. I was made that way and thats the simple truth. Almost every night Emeka fell asleep before he even hit the pillow and that left me unsatisfied. Well one night, Emeka was not supposed to be on call so I had made plans for a quiet intimate dinner. I bought candles, some aphrodisaic bath oils so we could soak in the bathtub together. But then he called from work and said they needed him and I was so upset, I was literally quivering in anger. I hung the phone up on him. About 10 minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I went to the door, checked through the peephole to see who it was. It was John, Emeka's cousin.
"Hi, John" I said, opening up the door for him.
"Hi, Julie, where's Emeka" he asked as he sat down on the couch opposite the TV set.
"He's still working" I said "would you like something to drink?"
"No, thanks. I'm fine" he responded "but there is something I would like to ask you"
"What is it?" I asked, curious.
"Well" he said moving closer to me "is it okay if our niece from Nigeria stays here for a while. I thought Emeka was going to be here so I could ask the two of you together. She's only 19 and she needs somewhere to stay and she cannot stay at my place because its too far and she has no means of transportion."
"Thats ok, she can stay with us" I said, shrugging.
"Thanks" he said rising "I have to go now"
I walked behind him to the door and as soon as he got to the door he turned abruptly
"By the way ...." and he bumped right into me because he did not do how close to him I was standing
"Oh sorry" he stammered but he was still standing to close to me, I could feel his breath on my face. There I was in my pink satin robe, under which I was wearing next to nothing and I could feel his warm, warm body next to mine. He kissed me on the lips and it felt heavenly. I was ready for love and love I gave to John. Well, maybe not exactly love but the sex was one of the most animalistic I had ever had. We started kissing and touching each other and somehow managed to get to one of the guest bedrooms where we tore off each other's clothes and went at it. You could have heard my sighs of pleasure from a mile away and he kept talking to me calling me all kinds of love names because he enjoying the sex so much. John did not leave until 5am the next day and Emeka came back around 7am, tired and just headed for his bed. And as all these memories rushed back, I was so enraged that John could actually tell Emeka about that. What did he hope to gain by that?

"Emeka, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, you can call me any kind of name you want to but just remember one thing, if you took care of your business at home, I would have had no reason to go outside" I said pointing my index finger at him
"Yes, I know its my fault, it has to be my fault because you just cannot face up to the responsibility of any action of yours" he retorted
"Ok, thats fine too but I have to leave so just get out of my way so I can pack my babies' stuff" I screamed at him
"You are not going anywhere with the kids, Juliana" he replied calmly. I continued packing up all my stuff and carried as much as I could to my Benz which I drove off and lodged into a motel 6. I tried to call Ben from there but he was not picking up his phone. I had not seen him since the cops picked me up at the motel 6 and I was kind of disappointed that he hadn't called or emailed me to ask about my well-being.

Three days later, I decided to call his house. On the third ring, a female voice answered "Hello"
"Hello" I replied "can I speak to Ben?"
"Who is this?" the voice questioned, suddenly becomeing hostile
"My name is Juliana and I need to speak with Ben" I replied
There was a sharp gasp as the other end of the line and the voice said slowly" I can't believe you have the nerve to call here"
"And why is that?" I asked with a total disregard. I knew it was Chigozie but I could care less what she thought at that moment.
"Don't you dare call my house again, you homewrecker" she said and hung the phone up on me. I called right back and we went at it
"First of all, you don't have a home with Ben, Ben is mine" I told her.
"Funny, but the marriage certificate hanging on my wall tells me otherwise" she said coldly.
"I don't care about no marriage certificate, I met him first, we were supposed to get married" I yelled at her
"Yeah, supposed to, but your horny little ass still couldn't keep from fucking around" she retorted
"You nasty mouthed woman, wait til I get to you" I warned her
"Look, there is nothing you can do, so please keep your disease-infested body away from my husband, my h-u-s-b-a-n-d, you hear?" she screamed at me and hung up the phone. I dropped the phone slowly and contemplated my next course of action. Chigozie had a lot of gall, hanging up on me like that. Clearly, she had no idea what I could do to her. After all, Ben belonged to me first and I had more of a right to him than she did. And I planned on keeping my man. He had gotten away from the first time, it was definitely not going to happen again. Later that night, when I was sure the good doctor had gone to work, I went back home. Amazingly, he had still not changed the locks. I let myself in and went upstairs to his study. In his study, my husband kept some chemicals and some drugs for emergencies and all what not. I grabbed a bottle of succinylcholine. Emeka had told me one time, that you could kill somebody with it and never be caught because it was hard to trace in the body. After taking the bottle, I let myself out the house and went back to the Motel 6 where I plotted my next move.

Thought it was cold in front of the Starbucks Coffee, I waited patiently because I knew Ben would soon appear from the building across the street. A couple of minutes later, I saw him.
"Ben, Ben" I called out to him, waving furiously. He turned, saw me and stopped. I quickly ran over to him and he enveloped me in a big hug
"What happened to you, honey?" I asked him "you never checked up on me"
"Hmm, Juliana, you have put me through a lot of things in my lifetime" he said slowly. Pulling up my face gently, he asked me "What is going on with you? You need to take more control over your life or else....
"Or else what?" I asked him, daring him to mention the unmentionable
"We need to talk seriously ok? Ben said. I walked with him quietly to his grey Honda Accord and got him beside him. We drove to the Comfort Inn that was a couple of miles up the street.

"I have something to tell you" Ben said gently holding my two hands in his. He brought them up to his mouth and gave them a quick kiss "This can't continue and we both know that, we are hurting too many people"
"We have to think of ourselves too, you know. We are in love" I replied firmly
"I know that but we both married to other people" he said "too many people are going to get hurt by this"."Do you know" he continued "your husband was parked less than a quarter of a mile away from where we were that day. As soon as the police drove off, he came in with a bunch of Mexicans wielding leadpipes and they beat me within a inch of my life"
"What!" Are you serious?" I asked
"Yes I am" Ben replied "and so, thats how my wife found out everything and we now have a lawsuit pending against your husband"
"Oh! my God! I cannot believe this" I said shaking my head. Emeka's behavior was just appalling!
"So, Ben continued "its with deep sadness I have to cut off this relationship because we are hurting too many people including ourselves"
"Oh Ben, please don't say that, I'm nothing without you. Why can't you get a divoce, be man enough Ben, I have left Emeka for you. You should leave Chigozie for me" I told him
"Okay, I have no problem with doing that but its going to take a little time ok?" he responded lifting my chin so that I was standing face-to-face with him.That day, we made love numerous times but as he slept, I looked at him. I did not for a second believe that he would leave Chigozie for me so I was determined to take matters into my hands. I quietly took his keys from his pants that he had hung up in the closet and dashed out to the hard ware store that was in the shopping mall opposite the motel. I was out of breath when I came back but luckily, Ben was still asleep and I put his keys back into his pocket. Around 3p.m, he woke up and with a quick kiss, he dashed into his car and left for home. I still needed to find a right time when only Chigozie would be home to carry out my plan. The opportunity they say favor the prepared so when the opportunity cropped up, I pounced. Ben called me a couple of weeks later at my cousin's house where I was staying temporarily that he was going to be in Nebraska for a week and I could join him if I wanted to, I took the address of the place he was going to stay and promised to join him. He left for Nebraska on a saturday so around 12midnight that saturday, using the copies of Ben's keys I had made, I let myself into Ben's apartment. Everywhere was quiet and I stood still for about 5minutes to get used to the darkness and I made my way to the nearest door. The first door was clearly a children's bedroom because I could see toys everywhere on the floor. I quietly closed that door and tried the next one that was about two feet down the hallway. This bedroom looked more luxurious than the previous one and I assumed that was the bedroom that Ben and Chigozie shared. Well, I did assume correctly because I could see somebody's body presumably Chigozie's on the bed. Without even thinking, I went up there, grabbed a hold of her arm.
"Who's that?" she asked in fear. I held her tightly and tried to bring out the cottonballs containing cholorform, I was carring in my pocketbook. She struggled but I held on tighter until I was finally able to bring out the cottonball, I pushed it down over her nose and before three minutes she was unconscious. I crawled back to the door to find the light switch and as soon as I turned on the lights I was back by the bed and I hurriedly injected the vial of succinylcholine I had into her arm and left as quickly as I had come.

Revenge was just a beautiful thing I thought to myself as I enjoyed the company of Ben in Nebraska. He had no idea what had happened back at home and honestly, I did not stop to think about his kids or anything, I just wanted to be with Ben and I did what I had to do to be with him. When we disembarked at the Dulles Airport in washington Dc, we took different cabs home. Immediately I reached home, I told my cousin I was going to Nigeria for a while to figure things out and started parking again. She told me that Emeka had called several times asking if I was there and she had said no as I had asked her to do. I had no wish to speak to him. I missed my kids but right now I had no choice. I had to go to court and get the legal custody of my babies. But I needed a little break first. I booked a flight for Friday so I could get enjoy the weekend in Nigeria, hopefully with my mother. "Wow" I said to myself as I walked to the empty check-in counter, "where is the long line?" I hurried up so that I could check in and get something to eat before the plane took off.
"Mrs. Chimeezey?" said a voice from behind me.I turned, I did not know that voice. It was a tall blonde white man in a brown suit.
"Can I help you? I asked him looking at him cautiously. Too many things happened these days at airports so I did not want to really speak to this stranger.
"Can you come with me please?" he continued
"Why?" I countered a bit irritated. I did not need all this disturbance right before my journey. I followed him a bit petulantly to a small office. "Can I see your passport, ma'm?" he said politely. I threw the passport at him and he took a look at it and stood up.
"Mrs. Chimeezey, you are under arrest for the murder of Mrs. Isokwe" he said holding up his badge.
"What?" my heart skipped a couple of beats, "w-w-hats are you talking about, sir?" I asked
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may or can be used against you in a court of law" he said calmly. As I felt the cold metal of the cuffs going around my wrist again, I slumped against the police officer. Another officer entered the room and held me upright while the first police officer finished handcuffing me. As the led me out of the office, I saw the crowd that had not been there when I first came up to the check-out counter. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ben lunge at me "Murderer! how could you, how could you?" he screamed and grabbed me by my hair. The police officers quickly restrained him and pulled him away from me. Then Emeka came up to me and in his eyes I could see a great sadness